Neeko
03-08-2010, 08:38 PM
So I actually looked for a relationship forum because I cant seem to get good advice or tell anyone all the details of my crazy life story....
I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years we met when I was 17. Never loved or had relations w/ anyone except him. He’s 7 years my senior but I love that :) We have been pretty happy until about two years ago he caught me cheating with my long time friend. We broke up and got back together immediately. He forgave but never forgot. He often would still accuse me call him harass him blah blah... But we still managed to keep together. He’s proposed to me 5 times since but I told him I’m not ready yet. I admit the cheating with the friend opened my eyes to a new option of being with and being happy with another but all the while I know in my heart no one will ever make me as happy as (I'll call him-->) John does. He is a great man, partner, friend, and one day will make a great father...
We moved to a new apartment I picked it out it was huge and beautiful it was our new start and it worked great I furnished it as he paid the bigger bills and then it all of a sudden got bad... He did the accusing thing again and I ended up moving out eventually in September last year. I started going out and continued to keep him in my life, we did not spend thanksgiving kept our split to this day from co-workers (we work together, he got me this job last yr) and a lot of extended family members and he’s extremely close to my family and me not so much with his... So here’s the kicker: It started to talk to this other guy and he used to be good friends with "John." I didn’t find out till later though, So he picked me up from work and this guy I promise is a nobody I just needed a ride and "John" seen OMG! He ended up texting all kinds of mess and said he’s talking to someone as well. I go crazy and go over to the apt to get my stuff and find, yes, an overnighter with girls clothes scrubs and panties bras toothbrush and an outfit in my closet!!! I go crazy and get ALL of my stuff including all decor, I mean ALL decor bedroom curtains, shower curtains sheets towels pretty much everything I bought I admit I went crazy (it gets worse). He admitted he slept with her twice and I told him who I was talking to as well but told him I didn’t get close to this guy at all. So all apologies later, mine and his, he actually wants to get back together ha says this is our eye-opener for each other. So a week passes and on Valentine Day we set a date and spent all day together I start staying back at the apt but in the 2nd room as I chose never to sleep in that bed. We started talking and it was hard to place that behind but I tried he wanted everything and anything to get where we left off before I moved out so we tried he said he talked to her to tell her of us and I talked to the other guy as well.
So the other night we went out and got drunk as hell I don’t remember a lot I just know we fought about each others past and I was violent not only with him but his interior of his car... he held my arm down to not strike him and bruises stained my wrist... I and he never been this way and when we talked the next day we were both mortified.
That Sunday he met me and my family at church and we spent the day together and then went to my moms (where I have been staying) to watch a movie, we fell asleep and when we woke up we were kind of snapping at each other and he said he didn’t want to argue and was going to leave, and did. I failed to mention when we fought that Friday I took the phone from him because it under my name and I pay it. So when he left I couldn’t call and make up or anything. So I waited a couple of hour and got ready for bed and just decided I’m going to make up with him. We had such a good day, were trying to get better and the argument was petty. So I gathered clothes and beg and pleaded my sister to barrow her car and drove over on my way out the door i got a call from a friend yes the gut I cheated with and he had some of my stuff so I went over and got that from him he gave me a card from valentines day and I kept it real friendly and short.
I then went towards the apartment I knew he'd be happy I was there to make up and stay with him so I was a little excited. I knocked on the door cause my key didn’t open it I guess he locked the top lock... knocked for a good minute I heard him at the door and told him i hear you open it up banged on the door now my anger set it thinking why the stalling I felt stupid when he came to the door in night clothes and sleepy eyed , but I still felt paranoid to look in closets and as I’m doing this I tell him how stupid I feel doing it... There she was huddled in MY closet behind the hung up clothes I don’t remember my thoughts or feelings in the next 2 minutes but i know i hit her kicked her in her chest and as held me back I grabbed a glass broke it on him to let me go tried to bite his hands off me and the threw the other glass at her hitting right in the head. As he held me down she just stood there saying "Why do you hate me so much?" He had to tell her to get the hell out cause she just stood there smirk and all... I don’t remember but I went outside after her and she was driving away I threw rocks at her car and missed. Let me remind any readers I don’t remember a lot, I think I blacked out or it went fast. Also I’m not this person to act childish or violent but I guess the situation pulled me to this behavior. (this is the part why I cant tell friends or family) When I came inside he had my keys in hand telling me to leave I went to get my purse I grabbed a knife and stabbed myself in the leg and attempted the other but he pulled my arm away... he started crying and said look what he did and blood went everywhere as I seen this I kind of woke up and realized what was happening and tried to leave. He followed and I told him if he won’t leave me alone ill tell the cops he did it and he left. He did follow close as I drove myself to the hospital but pulled over cause I had the dizzies he got in as I still drove.
He apologized and said she literally was there 5 minutes. She had called the hospital where his mom was at, and she had the number there because he had previously called her to give her the heads up not to call the phone because I had it, when on the phone his mom said to her (not knowing who she was) if she talks to him let him know she’s still in the hospital and having emergency surgery. Her reason being at the apartment was because I took the phone away and she had no way to contact him so she went by.
He said after he told her we were talking she still continued to call him and even tried private as well which I confirmed with call logs. He cried and said he was being punished for something he didn’t ask for because she showed up on her own an that the only thing he did wrong was tell her to come in so he could use her phone. Im so angry he did that even if I can believe everything he says through his tears I cant get over the fact he let her in. The way he took long and the way she was huddled in a ball in MY close…
I stayed in the E.R till 2 am and then we went to another E.R till 4am for him as I did gash him with the glass.. He called her in front of me (as well as giving me her name, number, where she lives works and drives to help me feel his honesty and less insecure.) and said she should have never went to the apartment he would of got that info eventually and to never call again. That because of her actions we both had to be in the E.R and to finally listen like before and just stay away from us. She said don’t worry she wont call ever again. She called like an hour later!!! This psycho!! She left a message saying she was sorry for the trouble she caused but he never asked how she was doing. She said she has a big knot on her head from where I threw the glass. He didn’t call her back and through call logs I know she hasn’t either.
We talked about moving forward and after all that I wasn’t too sure. But it did finally open my eyes how I don’t want to leave him for the sharks. Also the reason why I left was because I wanted to be by myself and play, I guess I never thought at all he would ever play. I just thought this guy loves so too much to ever look at another person let alone date someone else. I guess what’s good for the goose is good for the gander... So here’s my question am I making the right decision? If so how do you move forward from this craziness? Were looking to move from the apartment our lease is up in 30 days and its kind of forcing me to move forward in a faster pace than Id like. Funny thing, everything is going good so far. Were looking for a house and we haven’t been more honest in months. We have our phones unlocked and open and ringers up and all. Just don’t know if it’s going to blow up in my face.... ANY ADVICE???? Please?? ANY comments welcomed…….
I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years we met when I was 17. Never loved or had relations w/ anyone except him. He’s 7 years my senior but I love that :) We have been pretty happy until about two years ago he caught me cheating with my long time friend. We broke up and got back together immediately. He forgave but never forgot. He often would still accuse me call him harass him blah blah... But we still managed to keep together. He’s proposed to me 5 times since but I told him I’m not ready yet. I admit the cheating with the friend opened my eyes to a new option of being with and being happy with another but all the while I know in my heart no one will ever make me as happy as (I'll call him-->) John does. He is a great man, partner, friend, and one day will make a great father...
We moved to a new apartment I picked it out it was huge and beautiful it was our new start and it worked great I furnished it as he paid the bigger bills and then it all of a sudden got bad... He did the accusing thing again and I ended up moving out eventually in September last year. I started going out and continued to keep him in my life, we did not spend thanksgiving kept our split to this day from co-workers (we work together, he got me this job last yr) and a lot of extended family members and he’s extremely close to my family and me not so much with his... So here’s the kicker: It started to talk to this other guy and he used to be good friends with "John." I didn’t find out till later though, So he picked me up from work and this guy I promise is a nobody I just needed a ride and "John" seen OMG! He ended up texting all kinds of mess and said he’s talking to someone as well. I go crazy and go over to the apt to get my stuff and find, yes, an overnighter with girls clothes scrubs and panties bras toothbrush and an outfit in my closet!!! I go crazy and get ALL of my stuff including all decor, I mean ALL decor bedroom curtains, shower curtains sheets towels pretty much everything I bought I admit I went crazy (it gets worse). He admitted he slept with her twice and I told him who I was talking to as well but told him I didn’t get close to this guy at all. So all apologies later, mine and his, he actually wants to get back together ha says this is our eye-opener for each other. So a week passes and on Valentine Day we set a date and spent all day together I start staying back at the apt but in the 2nd room as I chose never to sleep in that bed. We started talking and it was hard to place that behind but I tried he wanted everything and anything to get where we left off before I moved out so we tried he said he talked to her to tell her of us and I talked to the other guy as well.
So the other night we went out and got drunk as hell I don’t remember a lot I just know we fought about each others past and I was violent not only with him but his interior of his car... he held my arm down to not strike him and bruises stained my wrist... I and he never been this way and when we talked the next day we were both mortified.
That Sunday he met me and my family at church and we spent the day together and then went to my moms (where I have been staying) to watch a movie, we fell asleep and when we woke up we were kind of snapping at each other and he said he didn’t want to argue and was going to leave, and did. I failed to mention when we fought that Friday I took the phone from him because it under my name and I pay it. So when he left I couldn’t call and make up or anything. So I waited a couple of hour and got ready for bed and just decided I’m going to make up with him. We had such a good day, were trying to get better and the argument was petty. So I gathered clothes and beg and pleaded my sister to barrow her car and drove over on my way out the door i got a call from a friend yes the gut I cheated with and he had some of my stuff so I went over and got that from him he gave me a card from valentines day and I kept it real friendly and short.
I then went towards the apartment I knew he'd be happy I was there to make up and stay with him so I was a little excited. I knocked on the door cause my key didn’t open it I guess he locked the top lock... knocked for a good minute I heard him at the door and told him i hear you open it up banged on the door now my anger set it thinking why the stalling I felt stupid when he came to the door in night clothes and sleepy eyed , but I still felt paranoid to look in closets and as I’m doing this I tell him how stupid I feel doing it... There she was huddled in MY closet behind the hung up clothes I don’t remember my thoughts or feelings in the next 2 minutes but i know i hit her kicked her in her chest and as held me back I grabbed a glass broke it on him to let me go tried to bite his hands off me and the threw the other glass at her hitting right in the head. As he held me down she just stood there saying "Why do you hate me so much?" He had to tell her to get the hell out cause she just stood there smirk and all... I don’t remember but I went outside after her and she was driving away I threw rocks at her car and missed. Let me remind any readers I don’t remember a lot, I think I blacked out or it went fast. Also I’m not this person to act childish or violent but I guess the situation pulled me to this behavior. (this is the part why I cant tell friends or family) When I came inside he had my keys in hand telling me to leave I went to get my purse I grabbed a knife and stabbed myself in the leg and attempted the other but he pulled my arm away... he started crying and said look what he did and blood went everywhere as I seen this I kind of woke up and realized what was happening and tried to leave. He followed and I told him if he won’t leave me alone ill tell the cops he did it and he left. He did follow close as I drove myself to the hospital but pulled over cause I had the dizzies he got in as I still drove.
He apologized and said she literally was there 5 minutes. She had called the hospital where his mom was at, and she had the number there because he had previously called her to give her the heads up not to call the phone because I had it, when on the phone his mom said to her (not knowing who she was) if she talks to him let him know she’s still in the hospital and having emergency surgery. Her reason being at the apartment was because I took the phone away and she had no way to contact him so she went by.
He said after he told her we were talking she still continued to call him and even tried private as well which I confirmed with call logs. He cried and said he was being punished for something he didn’t ask for because she showed up on her own an that the only thing he did wrong was tell her to come in so he could use her phone. Im so angry he did that even if I can believe everything he says through his tears I cant get over the fact he let her in. The way he took long and the way she was huddled in a ball in MY close…
I stayed in the E.R till 2 am and then we went to another E.R till 4am for him as I did gash him with the glass.. He called her in front of me (as well as giving me her name, number, where she lives works and drives to help me feel his honesty and less insecure.) and said she should have never went to the apartment he would of got that info eventually and to never call again. That because of her actions we both had to be in the E.R and to finally listen like before and just stay away from us. She said don’t worry she wont call ever again. She called like an hour later!!! This psycho!! She left a message saying she was sorry for the trouble she caused but he never asked how she was doing. She said she has a big knot on her head from where I threw the glass. He didn’t call her back and through call logs I know she hasn’t either.
We talked about moving forward and after all that I wasn’t too sure. But it did finally open my eyes how I don’t want to leave him for the sharks. Also the reason why I left was because I wanted to be by myself and play, I guess I never thought at all he would ever play. I just thought this guy loves so too much to ever look at another person let alone date someone else. I guess what’s good for the goose is good for the gander... So here’s my question am I making the right decision? If so how do you move forward from this craziness? Were looking to move from the apartment our lease is up in 30 days and its kind of forcing me to move forward in a faster pace than Id like. Funny thing, everything is going good so far. Were looking for a house and we haven’t been more honest in months. We have our phones unlocked and open and ringers up and all. Just don’t know if it’s going to blow up in my face.... ANY ADVICE???? Please?? ANY comments welcomed…….