I need help PLEASE....PLEASE

[lola2385]

Please do not judge me I really need some help I have been in this relationship going on a year and I love my boyfriend to death I would die if I lost him and he is my everything the reason I wake up in the morning I just love him so much but I have a hudge secret I have been holding from him and it has been killing me little by little inside. In the beginning of our relationship when he met me I was dating someone else that guy and I had not seen eachother for at least two months and we were on the verge of breaking up we where together for almost two years and my current boyfriend knew all this but what he did not know was a couple of time he came by to see me and I cheated on him. I hate what I did and I know most of you are thinking I don't deserve this wonderful guy but my ex it was hard to break away from him he would pop up out of the blue and would not take no for a answer it was like he had this fource on me I have not seen my ex recently or been whith him in a while and I want to come clean to my boyfriend but he said the one thing he does not tolerate os cheating and he does not care how in love he is if anyone or if I cheat on him he would leave me in a heart beat and now recently this has been the first and last thing on my mind everyday and I can't get ride of it and it's killing me inside but I can't tell him because he would leave me and I don;t know what to do I can't lose him I would kill myself I love him so so very much. What do I do? Please help me Please!!! :( :(

[bdtraders]

see other post

[eightball61]

If its killing you so much then just tell him. I know its easier said then done but thats what most of us are going to say. I am sure you knew thats what we would say but sometimes its better hearing it again from another person.

I am not going to sit here and knock you. What you did was wrong but know you have to face it. You can either hold it or let it out. You are at the point where you can't hold it anymore. You were basically broken up with this guy anyway. You never even saw him till the day you both just decided to end that other relationship.

You didn't cheat on him(current partner) in any ual way. Yes, he should have known the trueth but you didn't want to risk losing him. Well now you have to face it and its only best if you just tell him like you told us and see what happens from there.

[Diablo]

What would be more unpleasant; holding this in, or taking a chance on losing him? Your cheating is in the past, you don't seem to intend to do it again, so perhaps you should let sleeping dogs lie. On the other hand, if holding all this in is messing with you that much, then tell him. We can't really tell you what to do here since you're the one who has to live with the choice.

[MDeezy]

Well you know and realize your mistake.

Sadly It would be best to tell him, you love him and he loves you, you guys should keep anything back from each other. I know you dojnt want to say anything because you know you feel you know you will lose him but if you guys are truely meant to be you guys will be.

How far into the relationship did he say that if someone was cheating on him he didn care how much he loved them he would leave? If it was earlier in the relationship then he was letting you know how he feels but also stating it as a warning for you not to cheat. If he said it recently then I dont know.

Best bet would be to tell him and have no secrets between you and then let him know how much you love him, how bad of a mistake it was, how long ago it was, but you wont do anything like that, and cant live with out him. May sound like a completely cliched responce but the sincereity should help.


Best of Luck.

[Rich]

Obviously the love that you feel for your boyfriend isn't and wasn't enough to keep your legs closed.

Too bad. Hopefully a lesson learned.

You'll never have a great relationship with him if you don't tell him. And it WILL come out one day. Like when you ex is pissed or drunk and says something to him.

You'll then lose your BF / husband at that time.

Your saying that your ex has "this hold" over you is a cop out. You wanted to have with him and you did. You need to stop blaming others for your actions. Take responsibility.

Bottom line is that on a very deeper level, that you don't love your BF like you say that you do. Actions speak louder than words and your actions said a mouthful about your true feelings.

Tell him and let the chips fall where they may.

Here are your options as I see them.

Tell him and either he forgives you or he doesn't. It's 50/50.

Don't tell him and NEVER have that awesome relationship with him because you'll always be afraid that the truth will come out. You won't live as your true self. Relationship will 100% fail at some point.

So, is 50/50 better than a 100% failure, whenever that may be (1, 5 or 20 years down the road)?

People who lie need to always lie to cover up the first lie.

Too bad you did what you did. But you're an adult. Act like it and face the music.

Rich