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View Full Version : Relationship on the rocks.. just broke up and shes gone for 3 months.. help?


chunkymunkyluvr
03-28-2010, 07:49 AM
well let me start off by introducing myself. My name is josh. I'm a senior in high school, my [ex] girlfriend, (its still being talked about, so i'm not sure where we're at..), moved to oregon for college 6 months ago..

We've been together off and on for 2 years. we've broken up 2 times and have gotten back together, and now, this is our third break up. I have trust issues and I asked her to not go to college parties or talk to other guys. She's a very, very smart girl, she always does what's best, she would never jeopardize our relationship, regardless, I had this insecurity about other guys. I know it's not right to try and tell her to do. That's part of the reason we broke up. She says I'm too controlling, and I can see where she's coming from.

I'm very emotional, I tend to get really upset sometimes and can blow things out of proportion. She hates that. I'll try and get her to stay when she doesn't want to be there anymore, and it drives her nuts. The next day, I realize I over reacted and it was almost nothing to be upset about it.. I think I might be bi polar, but she thinks I'm still immature. she happens to be a very mature person, and we can see why this might be a serious problem in the relationship..

this is where i feel like the scum of the earth.. When I get upset, I get upset. I tend to yell and swear. I know this is no way to treat a girl who I'm deeply in love with. I tried to stop that and I think I did that fairly well, but she doesn't think so. I know this is no way to respect any woman, and she is definitely the last person to deserve someone like me. she deserves so much more. I take her for granted. I think that shes always going to be there, so i can mess up as much as i want and then get another chance when we're at our breaking point..

She's the first person i've been in a serious relationship with. i've had the "first love", but i honestly believe shes my true love.. theres something about her and her face and in her personality that just makes me get the chills, and this light headed feeling. She always has me coming back for more, wishing we could always have more time to spend together. i just don't have any way to explain or express my feelings for her. We had these plans to get on with our lives with each other when i graduate. it was a mature and an immature relationship altogether.. mature in our feelings, but immature in our annoyances and our fights..

i want to change myself. not just for her but for myself as well.

- I feel immature for who I am, and for her sometimes. I want to grow up and I want to give a shit. i dont want to be this immature guy who isn't doing anything with his life.

- I need to learn how to get over my insecurities and to trust her and that she wont do anything stupid to jeopardize our relationship.. I want her to live her life the way she wants, i dont want to hold her back from making friends.

- I dont want to take her for granted, and think shes always going to be there after i mess up and decide to "change", im tired of "changing" and then going back to my old ways once we get back together.

can someone give me advice? i feel like we have so much potential, but i think i've expended all of my chances.. I'm a good guy, honestly. I love this girl with all my heart. and i just want to make things right between us, because we both love each other. but it hurts both of us that we can't be together because of this stuff. someone help me. i wanna be everything she needs and wants for forever. alskdj.

eightball61
04-03-2010, 09:45 PM
Getting over insecurities are tough and infact you really dont get over them you just need to learn to accept things for the way they are. One thing i founf to help me was a personal journal. This helped me vent out rather than keep it all in.

smackie9
04-05-2010, 02:25 PM
You have access to a school counselor, take advantage and book an appointment to see one. Second if you feel you lose control over other aspects of your life, go see a doctor for a proper diagnosis to see if you do suffer from a mental illness, don't try and guess, yer not a doctor. I don't think you do but it is best to rule these things out and not worry over it. Personally you need to realize that anyone that goes to college shouldn't be in a committed relationship. Yes there's parties, opportunities to hookup, they are away from home for the first time so they are free to do whatever. Sorry dude but it's done. She's gonna be movin on anyways. It's a slap in the face, but life can be like that. So try the counseling. That's what they are there for. They can even help you deal with a broken heart.