Please Help Me Please

[lola2385]

Please do not judge me I really need some help I have been in this relationship going on a year and I love my boyfriend to death I would die if I lost him and he is my everything the reason I wake up in the morning I just love him so much but I have a hudge secret I have been holding from him and it has been killing me little by little inside. In the beginning of our relationship when he met me I was dating someone else that guy and I had not seen eachother for at least two months and we were on the verge of breaking up we where together for almost two years and my current boyfriend knew all this but what he did not know was a couple of time he came by to see me and I cheated on him. I hate what I did and I know most of you are thinking I don't deserve this wonderful guy but my ex it was hard to break away from him he would pop up out of the blue and would not take no for a answer it was like he had this fource on me I have not seen my ex recently or been whith him in a while and I want to come clean to my boyfriend but he said the one thing he does not tolerate os cheating and he does not care how in love he is if anyone or if I cheat on him he would leave me in a heart beat and now recently this has been the first and last thing on my mind everyday and I can't get ride of it and it's killing me inside but I can't tell him because he would leave me and I don;t know what to do I can't lose him I would kill myself I love him so so very much. What do I do? Please help me Please!!! :( :(

[bdtraders]

Tell him, dont carry this around, better he find about it now then 5-10 years down the line. If he breaks up with you then it was never meant to be, just be honest with him you never know.
I am the same way that if a woman cheats on me im gone, well she did like you at the get go and i found out, it still bugs me but i try to work past it. If she was to ever do it again i would be gone in a heartbeat, first time shame on you second time shame on me.
Im very big on communication, so if I was him i would rather hear about it now then later on. Some people might say dont tell him cause what he dosent know wont hurt him, well it will come out sooner or later, by accident, in a arguement, or by someone else saying something.

[eightball61]

If its killing you so much then just tell him. I know its easier said then done but thats what most of us are going to say. I am sure you knew thats what we would say but sometimes its better hearing it again from another person.

I am not going to sit here and knock you. What you did was wrong but know you have to face it. You can either hold it or let it out. You are at the point where you can't hold it anymore. You were basically broken up with this guy anyway. You never even saw him till the day you both just decided to end that other relationship.

Yes, he should have known the trueth but you didn't want to risk losing him. Well now you have to face it and its only best if you just tell him like you told us and see what happens from there.

[SALly]

I say don't tell him. As long as you dont' ever do it again. Put it behind you, pretend it never happened. He doesn't need to know.

[eightball61]

I say don't tell him. As long as you dont' ever do it again. Put it behind you, pretend it never happened. He doesn't need to know.


Thats why she posted SALly, she can't get over it. Some people can live with it and some people can't.

[lola2385]

Thanks everyone I want to tell him but I know I can't he would leave me and you know what it's not even that so much but the fact that he is such a wonderful person he has everthing looks, attitude, and an amazing personality and it would break him in so many ways if he ever found out. He would be so messed up and I don't want to be the caose of that either. I love him with all my heart and will never never do that again.

[SALly]

Thats why she posted SALly, she can't get over it. Some people can live with it and some people can't.
But she doesnt' want to tell him either. Sometimes it's best to just let things go. It was stupid and she needs to know it doesn't make her a terrible person. She just needs to shape up and not do it ever again.

[eightball61]

Well you can;t have it both ways here....You want it out of your system and the only way is if you let it out. If you don't let you have to live like you have been lately.

Do your choices are:

Tell or not to tell

[lola2385]

I don't know maybe with in time It might go away as we start building and growing together and then futher down the road it may go away maybe I am feeling this way because it has not even been a year that my boyfriend and I have been together so everything is still new and recent. Hopefully within time I could let it go. When it first happened I felt like it never did happen and I put it behind me but as soon as I got the depo shot all these feelings have been coming out. I know for a fact it will never happen again because he is the love of my life I know with out a dout that he is the one for me and I love him to death we talk about having a family and marriage and he is everything I have been looking for in a man. I just wish I could take away that part in my past where I messed up with him and start over.

[eightball61]

You know you won't be able to take it back and that leaves you the option on getting it out or living with it. Maybe talking to us may help ease it so try it out for a little longer and see whats happens. You feel this way because you lied to him. Its good to hear you won't do it again but just play it out and see what happens down the road. If you feel it doesn't work then you need to just come clean.

[SALly]

What do you mean she didnt' aully cheat on him...

[eightball61]

In the beginning of our relationship when he met me I was dating someone else that guy and I had not seen eachother for at least two months and we were on the verge of breaking up we where together for almost two years and my current boyfriend knew all this but what he did not know was a couple of time he came by to see me and I cheated on him.


I was reading this little qoute, SALly, and now that you pointed it out I see she did state that she cheated a few times..... :eek: my bad sorry

[lola2385]

thanks eightball61 talking to everyone on here does help out a lot and ease it a little I am going to try your method and see what happenes..when I broke it off with my ex for my current boyfriend he also told me not to tell him. I love my boyfriend a lot and when I am with him I forget about anything else and only fouces on him it's just when I am alone when I start thinking about it.

[eightball61]

Its going to be hard to put it past you. You will never forget it totally but all you can try to do is put it past you. Try to get it past you but if it doesn't help then you know that your gonna have to tell him. Just move on and try to put the situation to rest until the time comes again. I am not always the one for giving advice on holding back but this seems to be the way you want to go and I will respect that choice.

[lola2385]

Thanks to you all it helped a lot to get this all off my cheast and hear everyones advice. I know that one day when the time is right it will come up and I need and will tell him the truth but I don't think that day is anytime soon. I love him a lot and want to spend the rest of my life with him. Thanks everyone I am going to take everybodu's advice and one day I will tell him when it's right. Once again thanks everyone It helped a lot

[eightball61]

Your welcome and please stop by anytime :D