Relationship after divorce

[HBtoys]

I 've been divorced for some years.

I know of a wonderful man who came into my life a year and a half ago. He's divorced too, but longer than i am.

Recently he told me he will eventually want a live in relationship.

That totally scare me off!!

Some weeks later I broke off with him.

I miss him badly but I dont want a live in relationship! :(

Help!

[Horndog]

:confused: You seem confused HB, and that is quite understandable.
As a 50 yr. old male I am going through my second divorce and while I tried so hard to be a good father and husband I keep picking the wrong women.
Both wives have been unfaithful as well as liers and greedy. So here I am 50 yrs old, on my own again and about to leave State to get my head together.
You don't mention why you are scared of a live in relationship ( Religion, Moral grounds etc) but whatever the reason HB, you have the right to feel and live your life as you feel.
I wish you the best and hope all works out for you. Send me an e-mail if you want to talk as I may be able to give you some advice.

[buster]

I sometimes have found myself in your situation HB, a girl gets close and i get scared seems like, i feel like i want it so bad but it scares me so much that i don't want to risk going through that pain again, took me about 6 years before i really OPENED up to a woman, and i am glad i did, there is no greater feeling than loving someone and knowing that they love you back with the same compassion and dreams.I really don't think i answered your question, i kinda got strayed from the thread, but if there is anything i can do, listen, give advice, just holler at me i will be more than glad to.

[Ricksta]

Sometimes in life we just have to grow up. I mean you want to have a relationship with him without having to put an effort into it and nothing works that way because everything good in life requires effort. You cannot want and not want altogether. It is one way or another and you need to make a choice.

Remember something. Fear is insignificant compared to life and love in particular no doubt.

[Rich]

He probably wants a live in relationship because he figures that it would be easier to get out of that without as much pain and financial loss.

Maybe if you floated the idea of a pre-nup, he might be inclinded to give marriage another shot.

Rich

[CalistaClap]

What makes you scared of living together?

It is because you don't want to get that serious with someone, or you don't want to live with someone you aren't married to?

[cherklatch]

Perhaps you should search your soul to determine the basis for why you don't want a live-in relationship. Your age comes to play in this regard too. You said you were divorced for quite some time. Obviously, you got divorced for a reason and the thoughts of a man living with you brings up some bad memories. You must be sensing some red flags with your current boyfriend which brings up those old frightening issues or else you have become accustomed to living along and do not want to go through the alterations of having someone share your daily live. Do you miss him because you're alone or because you really love him? Once you figure that out, you might see things much clearer. Also, why does he want to live with you? Is it for the purpose of getting married some day and do you have any children? All of these issues need to be taken into consideration. Good Luck.