He Wants More Affection

[BossLady]

Last night my fiance and I were having a discussion and he brought up the fact that I was the least affectionate person he's ever been in a relationship with. He had mentioned it before but didn't really hint toward it being a problem. But since he brought it up again, I asked him if it was and he says yes.

He's very affectionate, whether we are out in public or just at home. I never turn him away, and I enjoy it, but he says sometimes I come across as indifferent about our relationship and that it affects his confidence in our relationship.

I'm not denying at all that I may seem indifferent (although I'm not at all), and its true that I've NEVER been a very affectionate person, not even with my immediate family or even my own son as much as I should be at least.

Strangely, I'm most affectionate and completely open with my fiance when we are intimate, but have a hard time expressing emotion or affection outside of , even though I want to. How can I open up to him?

[eightball61]

You just need to allow yourself to. He is being open and honest and a good thing you are taking notice. You both seem very intune and do hope all works out for you both.

[Rich]

You need to find some special "classes" that teach about openness and expressing feelings.

I can understand where your partner is coming from. It's nice to feel and know that your partner is just as much interested and desiring of you, that you are of them. That you want for your partner to initiate the closeness first sometimes, rather than you having to intiate all of the time.

How do you feel when your partner comes up from behind you and hugs you for no reason other than they're attracted to you and love you, or holds your hand when you're walking down the street? It's feels good right? It makes you feel special, right?

Well your partner wants to feel that same way. We ALL want to feel like that. To him it seems that you're always taking and not giving. He doesn't just want your affection in the bedroom, he wants it all of the time and afterall....aren't having those feelings what loves is supposed to be about. Love, affection and closeness isn't just supposed to be in the bedroom alone.

Go talk to someone or take a class on how to be more expressive. But again, people grow up how they grow up and after a certain age they are who they are. If it's not in you to do this, then it's just not in you. You should want to do it because you "feel" like doing it and not because you're being "forced" to do it. You are who you are and either he can accept that from you, or he can't. And if that doesn't work for him...then he'll go find affection from from someone else.

We all like to feel special and loved.