My best friend is acting weird and crossing the line

[SunFlowerSeeds]

Wish I can make this shorter.

I have a best friends of 9 years now. In high school I asked him out but he told me that he's not into asian girls. Since then we been best buds. We even went to junior prom and senior prom together. We stayed in touch during college even though we were 300 miles apart. We spent every summer together. He always come to me when he have females questions and i always give him honest answers. He went through a lot of girlfriends in college but none of them last. Time flew by...... and one day during our college senior year we went to a ball game and out of the blue he said something like"you know we know each other for quite some time and i think you're the best girl in my life. I think we should officially date" I didn't know how to react so i just pretended like i didn't hear him so I quickly changed the subject like 'oh, i can't believe he didn't catch the ball...." Since then he never ask me out ever again.

After college neither one of us have time to hang out. I ran into him again almost 2 years later at a wedding. I introduced him to my boyfriend at that time. Ever since then that day he been calling me to see that how I'm doing. I thought it was sweet at first. But when I changed my facebook status from "in a relationship" to "engaged", my best friend been acting all weird. Constantly calling and facebooking me (more than usual). He even start asking if I'm sure about this guy. He complained about how much I changed ever since I started dating this guy. He was upset to learn that I gave my virginity to my fiance (we been very open about our life.... well at least he was cuz I didn't have any prior to being engaged...lol). That was when I think he crossed the line and being disrespect. It wasn't like I gave it up after a month or two. It was years after I dated my fiance.

Anyways, do you think my best is acting all weird or is he just looking out for my well being. I asked all my closest friends I been getting mix answers from them.

Some of my friends said that he regrets letting me slip away. I have some friends who really like my fiance and some who rather see me with my best friends. I'm not leaving my fiance. Just need some inputs on how to handle my best friend. Should I stay friends with him or cut him loose. I love my best friend (as a friend of course) and don't want to lose him as a friend. But I don't think I want to deal with his BS. I need some outside input.:o

[lvl3]

Wish I can make this shorter.

I have a best friends of 9 years now. In high school I asked him out but he told me that he's not into asian girls. Since then we been best buds. We even went to junior prom and senior prom together. We stayed in touch during college even though we were 300 miles apart. We spent every summer together. He always come to me when he have females questions and i always give him honest answers. He went through a lot of girlfriends in college but none of them last. Time flew by...... and one day during our college senior year we went to a ball game and out of the blue he said something like"you know we know each other for quite some time and i think you're the best girl in my life. I think we should officially date" I didn't know how to react so i just pretended like i didn't hear him so I quickly changed the subject like 'oh, i can't believe he didn't catch the ball...." Since then he never ask me out ever again.

After college neither one of us have time to hang out. I ran into him again almost 2 years later at a wedding. I introduced him to my boyfriend at that time. Ever since then that day he been calling me to see that how I'm doing. I thought it was sweet at first. But when I changed my facebook status from "in a relationship" to "engaged", my best friend been acting all weird. Constantly calling and facebooking me (more than usual). He even start asking if I'm sure about this guy. He complained about how much I changed ever since I started dating this guy. He was upset to learn that I gave my virginity to my fiance (we been very open about our life.... well at least he was cuz I didn't have any prior to being engaged...lol). That was when I think he crossed the line and being disrespect. It wasn't like I gave it up after a month or two. It was years after I dated my fiance.

Anyways, do you think my best is acting all weird or is he just looking out for my well being. I asked all my closest friends I been getting mix answers from them.

Some of my friends said that he regrets letting me slip away. I have some friends who really like my fiance and some who rather see me with my best friends. I'm not leaving my fiance. Just need some inputs on how to handle my best friend. Should I stay friends with him or cut him loose. I love my best friend (as a friend of course) and don't want to lose him as a friend. But I don't think I want to deal with his BS. I need some outside input.:o

You say you've been best friends for 9 years? Now you have a new guy in your life that you've promised to spend the rest of your life with and he took your virginity? It's possible this isn't ual at all, it's possible that he's throwing a fit because he loves you deeply as a friend, and your fiance no doubt has issues with you being as close to your best friend as you two used to be, and add engagement add ... weather you want to admit it or not things between you are going to start changing fast, and you're going to drift apart, maybe even far appart, and it's beyond possible that him acting irrational right now is simply because he's losing his best friend and has no idea how to cope with it. My best guess is that he's pushing you away subcoincencly because that way he threw you away, not the other way around, it's something people who are losing people very close to them do, it's a natural responce if you don't know how to deal with it. You need to ensure him that you two are going to stay close, or you also start having to admit that you're going to be losing your best friend (if that's the case) and if it is, no doubt you're going to start feeling pretty sad too, but it's not going to be the same pain as he's feeling because he's feeling the pain that the person he was closest to in the entire world is going to leave him for someone he just met. This is also very common in children of single parents, the parent meets someone, knows them for a year and all of the sudden that new person in the mom/dad's life gets more attention/love than the kid ever got, and kids act out like crazy and try to break the parents up... that's what I'm guessing is happening here.

[lvl3]

As for how to deal with him, you have to make sure he knows that you still love him and will always want him to be your best friend, and that nothing/noone will ever change that. If you've stopped hanging out with him (or hung out with him much less) since you and your fionce got together, my advice is to start dedicating more time to being with your best friend, proving to him that he'll always have you even though someone else is marrying you. And once again if that's not true, you need to start getting sad too.