Help!

[beanzs]

:( Question for you all

4 months into the relationship I moved in ( we both wanted it that way) we are so much alike and very stubborn! About 2 times a week we would at each other over stupid stuff, then we would be fine. Well now we have been together for 10 months almost 11.

We both are in love with each other and have talked about our future. As of late all I seem to do is bring out his bad side (make him angry) I introduced him to this online game called EQ that I play, in the start he would get mad at me if I played it even 2 times a week for like 2 hours, till he got into it, then that is all he would do...come home from work and play till he went to bed (most nights I would play too so I could be with him)

Then I spoke up and said this is all that you do, we never go out and do anything...ok so then one night he got mad at me cause I was saying all he does is play the game and we got into a huge fight, one in which he scared himself ( he has a anger problem but he keeps it in check) he never hurt me and I never thought that he would, but he cant get the look I had on my face out of his head and the things he had said to me.

Three days later all was well till he came home from work and told me he need a "brake" he needed to clear his head and he couldn't do that with me always there so he asked me to move out, he said he didn't want me to move out but it was the only thing that he could think of for now and that he loved me so much, he told me how hard it was for him to carry out my boxes and that he had missed me while i was gone for 2 hours getting boxes.

The day I left we hugged very hard and long and said we loved each other, he said he would call me in a few days or what not. Well that night I went on the game because he said he wasn't going to go on it for a few days, well low and behold he is on it and as soon as he see's I am on he writes me and we talk, he asked me how I was doing I said missing the hell out of you and he told me that he missed me too, I said do you miss me or me being there he said a little of both. I told him I have this horrible feeling in my stomach and he says he has the same thing but it worsens and gets better at times.

Everyday now which has only been 4 days he talks to me on the game, tells me just let it run its co and you will see everything will be ok. We both said we are each others best friends we have always said that...........What do you all think, How long should I wait for him to "sort" out his head. I have had lots of break ups in the past but never one where the guy tells me he loves me so much.

[eightball61]

If something as simple as a game breaks up a relationship then you don't need to be in one. You only went on that game twice a week while he got addicted to the game and it ruined the relationship. Once I would have saw this coming then I would have had the internet disconnect until you both could have talked and came to an agreement.

I am addicted to these boards but I would never allow it to ruin my relationship. The internet can be a wonderful place but often times I have seen it interrupt relationships.

Right now he is living in the cyber world. He tells you all this garbage about missing you online but claims to still need to have the space. I understand its only been 4 days but usually when people have space they take a few day without talking and start bringing the relationship back together slowly which would consist of phone call, chats, and going out occassionally. You need to communicate with him what you want different if you both were to get back together. You won't take this game away from him but you need him to spend more time with you and go out more as a couple.....basically you'll be asking him to act like a boyfriend rather than a roomate.


I really don't see him giving up this cyber world anytime soon. He wants wants nature to take its course and thats the indication to me he not ready for anything yet. I could be wrong and this is all an assumption so I am basing the facts on my opinion. Just give it a little more time if you like but if you notice no change in the way he act in the next few weeks then you just need to move on.

[Rich]

He made a choice to have you move out so that he could sort out his life.

It's time that you did the same. Move on with your life and date other people. See how dating other people makes you feel about him. And give it your all.

Assume that this relationship is over and move on. If you guys get back together then it should be on better terms and you both should come back from confident points of view. In other words, come back as better people with an understanding of what drove you apart and what will be different this time.

Date other folks and move on with your life. Meet other guys and see what you find. Doing that will probably answer some questions for you.

Rich

[SALly]

:( Question for you all

4 months into the relationship I moved in ( we both wanted it that way) we are so much alike and very stubborn! About 2 times a week we would at each other over stupid stuff, then we would be fine. Well now we have been together for 10 months almost 11.

We both are in love with each other and have talked about our future. As of late all I seem to do is bring out his bad side (make him angry) I introduced him to this online game called EQ that I play, in the start he would get mad at me if I played it even 2 times a week for like 2 hours, till he got into it, then that is all he would do...come home from work and play till he went to bed (most nights I would play too so I could be with him)

Then I spoke up and said this is all that you do, we never go out and do anything...ok so then one night he got mad at me cause I was saying all he does is play the game and we got into a huge fight, one in which he scared himself ( he has a anger problem but he keeps it in check) he never hurt me and I never thought that he would, but he cant get the look I had on my face out of his head and the things he had said to me.

Three days later all was well till he came home from work and told me he need a "brake" he needed to clear his head and he couldn't do that with me always there so he asked me to move out, he said he didn't want me to move out but it was the only thing that he could think of for now and that he loved me so much, he told me how hard it was for him to carry out my boxes and that he had missed me while i was gone for 2 hours getting boxes.

The day I left we hugged very hard and long and said we loved each other, he said he would call me in a few days or what not. Well that night I went on the game because he said he wasn't going to go on it for a few days, well low and behold he is on it and as soon as he see's I am on he writes me and we talk, he asked me how I was doing I said missing the hell out of you and he told me that he missed me too, I said do you miss me or me being there he said a little of both. I told him I have this horrible feeling in my stomach and he says he has the same thing but it worsens and gets better at times.

Everyday now which has only been 4 days he talks to me on the game, tells me just let it run its co and you will see everything will be ok. We both said we are each others best friends we have always said that...........What do you all think, How long should I wait for him to "sort" out his head. I have had lots of break ups in the past but never one where the guy tells me he loves me so much.
It sounds like he just didn't want to be tied down at the moment. If he wants to play his game all night and day then he wants to play his game. Living together is pretty much like being married and apparently he doesn't want to be married right now. I would say stay living apart and just start again almost like dating. Don't spend nights together, just see each other like you are dating.

[lakegoddess]

I agree with Rich. Of course it's hard right now because it's only been 4 days since you guys have been inseparable.

I know how you feel... I just moved in with my boyfriend too a month or two ago. We both wanted me to move in with him because we wouldn't spend time missing each other and going to each other's houses everyday anyway.

BUT... you can't let it consume your whole life! So you guys lived together for 6 months. Did you guys start to shut out other people? Because you need to have your own life too. I don't doubt that he loves you, maybe he just needs some time to think, to sort things out. Not because anything's wrong with you. Sometimes when two people are in love, they lose their own sense of identity. Maybe your boyfriend is feeling that way.

As for you, you should feel that way too. Sometimes when you live together for so long, you may take each other for granted (as my friends, too, have advised me). A break may be exactly what you two need - to realize how important you are to each other.

In the meantime, call up your girlfriends. Your guy friends. Go hang out! Go have fun! Find some other activities... you'll find that there's much more than just waiting in front of the computer or by the phone for him to call. If he really is the one you should be with, you two will be back together, even stronger than before.

[bdtraders]

You and him both need to compromise, take this time to reflect on it.
As you have read its just a game, if your breaking up over a game. I think theres something more then just the game here. Yea you played maybe 2 hours a nite twice a week, well i would be a littel bummed that 4 hours of time with my SO was being spent on video games.
If you enjoy playing the game you should do it when hes not around, or set time limits for each other, like tonight we can play the game together for an hour then lets go cuddle up on the couch and talk.
You two were allowing the video game to bring you two together and you still are, but instead of sitting side by side playing it now your talking over the game to each other. You need to talk to each other away from the game, and figur eout what you both want. If he needs space dont talk to him anymore on the game, thats not space.
Ask him where this space thing stands, ask him since he said he needed space does that mean its ok for you to have your space and see other people. The only reason i would ask this is if he and you are trully in love and hes taking his space and you go out on other dates and he finds out, maybe thats not what he meant as space.
I tottally agree that if you two are to work things out the game has to get shelved for a bit until you two can get back into each other.