needadvice123
05-04-2010, 08:21 PM
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. He has caught on to me telling little white lies rather often - never anything awful, but he believes in no secrets about ANYTHING. He has a temper though, and I used to just not tell him, (I'm talking like - someone he doesn't like sent me invitation to a party and I didn't respond) then he would find out and call me a liar. Also, he would get mad if I would talk to my friends about our problems (like any girl does) and I would lie and tell him I didn't when I did. Thing is - I'm a horrible liar and he would always figure it out. So even though I don't do that anymore (I've had a couple slipups which makes him not convinced that I'm no longer a "liar" but I'm talking minor things that shouldn't be considered lies at all. Just me not telling him I wanted to go somewhere then he finds out I really did. Stupid stuff). It all roots from him not knowing one of my best friends and I had a one night thing a while back; it was exed out from my memory because, obviously - friends, right? It bothered him and he hasn't trusted me since then. By the way, I know I had told him this before we started dating - therefore, I never thought I was hiding anything from him.
It has been about 2 months since I have done anything to lose his trust. He all of a sudden decides to ask a friend of his to use a polygraph he has on me. I know I have nothing to hide, but the problem is - I'm horrible at telling the truth. I have anxiety problems which I don't think he quite understands. Whenever, under any circumstances and no matter who it is, I feel like I have to prove my innocence to someone, I know that I am telling the truth but I feel worried that they might doubt me. And I know polygraphs measure heart rate/blood pressure and stuff, and I have a sinking feeling I'll be one of those innocent people who fails a polygraph. On the bright side, it would be satisfying to give one to him in response - I've wondered if he's had his own lies, I just have the confidence in his love for me to not let them discourage my trust for him. And if he gives me one, he knows he can't refuse one from me.
My anxiety besides the point, is it a big deal that he wants to do this?? I mean, the majority of me feels insulted, like he's a detective and I'm some guilty suspect, rather than I am his girlfriend that he is completely in love with. I mean, besides this trust issue, we have the absolute perfect relationship! He says "please just understand this will make me feel better," but I'm insulted! But, I'm innocent, so why should I worry, right? But if that polygraph comes up with an inaccurate negative reading, our relationship goes down the tubes because a stupid machine misunderstood my heart rate!!
It has been about 2 months since I have done anything to lose his trust. He all of a sudden decides to ask a friend of his to use a polygraph he has on me. I know I have nothing to hide, but the problem is - I'm horrible at telling the truth. I have anxiety problems which I don't think he quite understands. Whenever, under any circumstances and no matter who it is, I feel like I have to prove my innocence to someone, I know that I am telling the truth but I feel worried that they might doubt me. And I know polygraphs measure heart rate/blood pressure and stuff, and I have a sinking feeling I'll be one of those innocent people who fails a polygraph. On the bright side, it would be satisfying to give one to him in response - I've wondered if he's had his own lies, I just have the confidence in his love for me to not let them discourage my trust for him. And if he gives me one, he knows he can't refuse one from me.
My anxiety besides the point, is it a big deal that he wants to do this?? I mean, the majority of me feels insulted, like he's a detective and I'm some guilty suspect, rather than I am his girlfriend that he is completely in love with. I mean, besides this trust issue, we have the absolute perfect relationship! He says "please just understand this will make me feel better," but I'm insulted! But, I'm innocent, so why should I worry, right? But if that polygraph comes up with an inaccurate negative reading, our relationship goes down the tubes because a stupid machine misunderstood my heart rate!!