Need to adjust to working SO

[starrynites]

I need you guys again! :p

Well, university just finished. I basically have 2-3 weeks off before I start my summer school and full-time summer work. So it's been about 2 days now and it has been quite relaxing.

My SO just got a full-time job. He has been working a full day, 9-5 kinda thing. When he gets home (we don't live together), he's really tired! He msgs me when he can throughout the day on his breaks, and calls me before he heads to bed.

Here I am, at home, being a tv couch potato. I work very little because my workplace are strained on hours. My good friends still have exams n all. I basically have the WHOLE day free.

My problem is mostly me. I feel like I'm at home waiting for him to get off work so we can maybe go out to dinner or talk on the phone. When he's really tired and our conversation is a bummer, I feel neglected(maybe too strong of a word) or.. I duno, just a negative feeling! My mind is in a battle. One side (the sane one) says "he's so tired let him sleep! it'll be better on the weeekend." the other side (the one) says "ugh! he can't even say this to me?" somehting like that. just being nit-picky about the conversation! I really want to be supportative with his new job. I don't want to be a and ruin our relationship because I can't wrap my head around him working full-time. How do I get myself to think positvely and not be a ? :confused:

[eightball61]

How far apart are you both?

You both are in a new setting since school is over and will have to get used of it. He may be getting tired more often because he is not used of a long work day. Within time though these things should change once he gets his schedule down.

In order to think postive about this you'll have to trick your mind into doing so. You are sitting at home waiting for him and the longer you wait for him the more irritable you get. You can't allow this to happen....its great you see it and want to fix it but you need to change your way of thinking before it gets in the way of the relationship. The human mind is very powerful and the only way to help yourself is accepting the situation, keeping yourself busy, and also tricking your mind into positive thought.

[Rich]

Welcome to the real world.

Life is all about adjustments and compromise.

Working 9-5 and he's tired and goes to bed when he gets home???? Has he never worked before? LOL

What would happen if you two got married and had kids that woke you up at all hours of the night and demanded all of your attention 24x7?

All relationships face reality. You guys just need to adjust, know that you still need to spend time together and know that you're going to be tired now for the rest of your lives up until you retire. Just gotta suck it up.

If he really likes you and wants to be with you, then he needs to adjust his life accordingly and maybe get less hours of sleep on some nights.


Rich

[starrynites]

Yeah, i've been way too sheltered in my school lifestyle.

Getting a taste of the real world! It bites. :eek:

No, this is his first full-time job actually!

yeah, i really gotta preoccupy my mind and myself so i won't be waiting around for his msgs or calls all day.

[eightball61]

yeah, i really gotta preoccupy my mind and myself so i won't be waiting around for his msgs or calls all day.


You now have a plan.............You both still can carry a successful relationship while getting adjusted to this change. You have to realize that in relationships change will happen rapidly and you both have to be opened mnded to adjust that change. The only time change should be rejected is when it doing more harm than good to the relationship. You both are starting a new life as an adult and its going to take sometime to adjust from that to the school life you both been adapted to in the last 12 to 16 years of your lives.

[Rich]

Work and real life suck, don't they.

Oh to be back in school and not have any worries. :)

Good luck.

[lakegoddess]

I think most importantly is that you shouldn't take his tiredness as a sign of him neglecting you. I know almost everyone (at least those who start their first full-time job) gets really tired by the time they go hoome that most of the time it's just dinner, rest, and sleep. I graduated college last summer and was the sleep-at-3 o'clock type of person too but now if I don't get in bed at least by 11p, I get grumpy. But regardless of how busy you are at work, it's still a whole day of being out. So let him have some time to adjust to it. His body is simply not used to it. I agree with Rich though - it's just gonna get harder and harder, once you get a family and all.

Don't blame yourself for wanting to "do something" either. For all your life, you've been going to school - that's your task. Now there's nothing there, no obligation. What you SHOULD do is take advantage of these 2 weeks you have. Go out! Have fun! Why not call up some of your old friends (those who probably already finished their exams)? Find a hobby. Don't just sit around at home. It'll just make things harder. :)

[Howard]

Work and real life suck, don't they.

Oh to be back in school and not have any worries. :)

Good luck.


Rich,I still had worries when I was in High School back in 1989 so I had pretty much to worry about. :rolleyes: