My boyfriend is pressuring me...Please help!!!!

[ary]

I have been living with my boyfriend for 7 months now. He works more than 8 hours a day and get paid above minimum wage. I am an international university student on a student visa, so I can only attend school, not work. Lately hes been pressuring me to find a job because I had a part time job before (a temp job) but its over now sice it was only for a few months. It is very difficult for me to find a job because I am not yet landed eg. no social insurance etc. He had the same job and the same amount of money before he met me, and survived quite well without me. I cook and clean the home when I'm finished with school. I find him very abusive and I dont understand why hes pressuring me so much to find a job if he knows I cant find a job easily right now. I know hes stressed out etc and I've been trying to look for temp jobs in the meanwhile for several months now, but havent found any yet. I am really stressed out, depressed and he usually argues with me until my eyes become swollen from crying till I fall asleep. I am upset because of my situation and the way he reacts. I am starting to dislike him alot. Also, hes telling me nasty things like go back to live with my sister because I used to stay at her house before then when I said that I should do that, hes saying if I go there to live he'll break up with me. I feel like ending it but the thing is, I don't know much people here and I think he knows that and is using that against me. What should I do?

[SALly]

Are you using a lot of his money?

[ary]

Are you using a lot of his money?


no, I'm not, I get money from my family for school etc, I hardly go out and I eat very little.

[eightball61]

. Also, hes telling me nasty things like go back to live with my sister because I used to stay at her house before then when I said that I should do that, hes saying if I go there to live he'll break up with me.


Then go....... You can move back with your sister where things will be less stressful for you.

Why are you holding on anyway? You are not happy with this reationship so you should move on. He is not helping you out in anyway. You are doing many nice things around the house for him, attending school, and trying for a job. He is still not happy after all this.......Basically there is no way to please this guy.

If you stay with him then you are allowing him to rule you. You are limited because of the visa you hold. This is not your fault and you are trying. Someone respectful would see your efforts and be more curtious. My opinion would be different if you were lazy and didn't care but thats not the case.

This guy is weighing you down and has control over you. There is no love in this so-call relationship. You need to get out now before it gets any worse.

In America you will see that we do have boneheads that live here but overall there are nice people....You just need to seperate yourself from the bad and proceed with the good.

[SALly]

Then go.......You have a place to live. You can move back with your sister where things will be less stressful.

Why are you holdding on anyway? You are not happy with this and therfor you should move on. He is not helping you out in anyway. You are doing many nice things around the house for him, attending school, and trying for a job. With all that done he is still not happy.......Basically there is no way to please this guy.

If you stay with him then you are allowing him to rule you. You are limited because of the visa you hold. This is not your fault and you are trying. Someone respectful would see your efforts and be more curtious. My opinion would be different if you were lazy and didn't care but thats not the case.

This guy is weighing you down and has control over you. There is no love in this so-call relationship. You need to get out now before it gets any worse. In America you will see that we do have boneheads that live here but overall there are nice people....You just need to seperate yourself from the bad and proceed with the good.
Good words 8Ball- I agree. If she was using a lot of money I could see maybe he was getting mad, but since she isn't, I think he is just being very mean. Go ahead and go to your sister's house. then maybe with you gone he will think about the situation a little more. Maybe he will realize he was a jerk- but maybe not.

[eightball61]

Maybe he will realize he was a jerk- but maybe not.



I don't think he cares to know if he is a jerk or not...usually people like this just don't care in general........ :mad:


ps
SALly I can't see you :p

[AlexCrystal]

Listen,
A really good friend of mine was also on a student visa and worked "under the table" for a jewlery company. Well, INS pick him up, took him to jail and deported him back to his country.
NOT A SMART MOVE FOR YOU!!
I know it's hard when you don't know many people...and believe me, I know how hard it is to walk away from someone you care about...BUT it sounds like maybe you are falling out of like with him anyway....so maybe it is best to not break up but tell him that you will indeed move back with your sister to allow you guys space and an opportunity to repair your relationship (if that's what you want to do). And one of two things will happen....
1. The space between you will give you both time to reflect and you will both want to keep the relationship and work on it
or
2. The space between you will determine for you or him or both that getting out of the relationship is best.

[Howard]

Ary,Why is he being so nasty to you?
Did you do anything wrong? :confused:

[eightball61]

Ary,Why is he being so nasty to you?


Howard, your answer is in her thread...read it again carefully this time.

[Howard]

Ary,he shouldn't be angry at you.Could it be that you 2 weren't made for each other? :confused:

[Diablo]

You can add my voice to those saying you should leave him Ary. He probably knows that you could be deported for working and does not care. Move back with your sister, the guy you're with is bad news.

[inquisitive]

I agree go back and live with your sister. He has no right to treat you badly.

[bdtraders]

Yea i agree if someone is threatening to break up with you because you go live with family and to reduce stress then hes not a keeper, go back to your sister and nicer guy will catch your eye

[Howard]

nobody in their right in mind should be treated like crap! :mad: You have to voice your opinion,Ary.

[luvme4ever]

I wonder did u read your post to yourself after you written it. If u do, it'll tell u if he's right for you or not. Because you're the one who's seeing the true person whom he is. According to me. he doesn't seem to care. Most important of all, the one that love you would never make you cry. Or say nasty things to you. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, he never once say anything nasty to me. We never argue when he and I see each other in person. My boyfriend work full time, while I'm still in school full time. And he doesn't complain. He said I should just concentrate on school, should not b worrying about money or job. You see, the point is, u want a boyfriend who cares deeply for you and respect you. Not the type that make you cry. I understand that you're scared to leave him because you don't know that much people on this land. But hey, everyone have an obstacle to get through. Take this as one of them. be a strong woman and stand up for yourself and walk out of his life. It'll b hard as first, but imagine after you accomplish all that you wanted. You'll have so much pride in yourself. Besure to remember. there's always someone out there for you. You just have to take risks to find the perfect one.