Silly Things

[eightball61]

Whatever makes you laugh then add it here; jokes, encounters, clumsy acts, ect.




"Sometimes the best remedy to a bad day is laughter"

[eightball61]

A Letter:


Dear Alcohol,

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work tail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise
consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest
that
I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3 . Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me.

Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous.
I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable.
My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've bee n the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

Your biggest fan....................

[Howard]

I like to watch comedies(TV shows & movies) such as:

Seinfeld
The Simpsons
MAD TV

[SALly]

Yesterday my 5 year old wanted Spaghetti-O's for lunch. I was heating them in a pan for him. He said "Look Mommy, they are called Spaghetti-O's and they 'are' O's".... i asked if he just figured that out and he said yes. He was so proud and happy. I thought to myself (jokingly) good thing he is cute!!! Oh the innocence of little ones!!! Gotta make you smile! :D

[eightball61]

That was cute SALly.....

This is kinda off subject but remined me of a cooking experience.... :p When I was about 11, I didn't know how to use the dryer so I put my socks in the microwave. I went to take a shower and when I came out they were on fire. I caught them in time but it ruined the microwave. From there my mom taught me how to dry cloths properly :D

[SALly]

Hahahaha-- -hopefully you were "cute"!!!!

[eightball61]

Hahahaha-- -hopefully you were "cute"!!!!


Nawww, I was never cute.....From the day I was born I have always been a freak :eek: :D

[SALly]

We all are!!! :p

[eightball61]

With that said we are all unique in a certain way.... :p

[Howard]

That was cute SALly.....

This is kinda off subject but remined me of a cooking experience.... :p When I was about 11, I didn't know how to use the dryer so I put my socks in the microwave. I went to take a shower and when I came out they were on fire. I caught them in time but it ruined the microwave. From there my mom taught me how to dry cloths properly :D


goofball,why the hell did you put them in the microwave? What the hell were you cookin? filet of sock? :D

Wow! :eek: talk about being "on fire"

[Howard]

Yesterday,One guy was about to make a right turn and another guy was on his cell phone so the guy in back of him who was about to make the right turn saw the other guy go slow cause he was on his cell phone and he said "Get The Off The Phone,Asshole"! :D

[SALly]

Hey 8ball, I just wanted to apologize for being a "B" to you yesterday. I've felt bad about that post where I sort of "bashed" you ever since I wrote it. I'm sorry. I truly appreciate your online friendship and your opinions.

[eightball61]

Its all good SALly :) I still consider you a friend nor I will look down on you for that. You are here for the same reason I am and thats friends, seeking advice, and giving advice. Not all the time we will agree will things and thats perfectly understandable.

SALly, you have yourself a great weekend and I will be on off and on so if we don't get to chat I will see you bright-n-early on Monday ;)

[bdtraders]

When i was younger i did what im sure many a kid has done, i figured i would help my mom out and do the dishs in the dishwasher for her, i had never seen her do it before and if i had not had paid much attention to it. I grabbed the liquid dish soap and figured out that you put it in the little containers in the door. I wanted to make sure the dishs were extra special clean so i squirted some into the dishwasher on the dishs themselves. Closed the door and started the dishwasher. I was a kid who was at home by himself til she got home so I grabbed my GI Joe with the kung foo grip and headed next door to my buddies cause he had the kickass vehicles. When i returned home about 15 ins before mom was supposed to be home, i found the kitchen and dining room flooded and full of sudds.

Um Oppps

[eightball61]

Last week I showed up to do a school dance and sat in my van for an hour before realizing my school dance is this weekend :eek:

[Howard]

I went to a Flea Market and not realizing that most of them were packing up for the day. :rolleyes:

[Howard]

Last week I showed up to do a school dance and sat in my van for an hour before realizing my school dance is this weekend :eek:


So,you went back home? Was it a waste a time?

[SALly]

OMG- I just spilled pop all over my computer keyboard at work.

[eightball61]

OMG- I just spilled pop all over my computer keyboard at work.

...oh boy :eek: did you get it all cleaned up?


I spilled coffee on mine before and now all the keys stick :D

[eightball61]

So,you went back home? Was it a waste a time?


I did go back home because I had no gig but it was recovered this past weekend since it was the actual date.

[SALly]

...oh boy :eek: did you get it all cleaned up?


I spilled coffee on mine before and now all the keys stick :D
I figured I better tell the computer guy here at work since i wasn't sure how to clean it. He brought me another one. How embarrasing. :o

[eightball61]

It happens....I work in a place where 5000 people work on computers and people spill stuff on thier keyboard everyday. Its a natural cause so dont be embarrased....you'll laugh latter about it once the moment passes you :p

[SALly]

It happens....I work in a place where 5000 people work on computers and people spill stuff on thier keyboard everyday. Its a natural cause so dont be embarrased....you'll laugh latter about it once the moment passes you :p
I know- the computer guy was laughing about it. I owe him cookies now. Whenever we screw something up or need his help, he always requests cookies. He is just kidding but I make them sometimes for him just to be nice. I guess I now have plans for the weekend--- making cookies!!!!

[eightball61]

I guess I now have plans for the weekend--- making cookies!!!!


Make some homemade cookies with your kids. Maybe you could get your husband to help as a little cute family thing. Don't get discurage though if he rather mowe the lawn or something because baking cookies is not a typical guy thing but it's worth a try ;)

[Howard]

...oh boy :eek: did you get it all cleaned up?


I spilled coffee on mine before and now all the keys stick :D



Did your computer happen to smell from coffee? :D

[Howard]

When it rains and there's a puddle near,I wind up getting splashed with by a car. :rolleyes:

[SALly]

Make some homemade cookies with your kids. Maybe you could get your husband to help as a little cute family thing. Don't get discurage though if he rather mowe the lawn or something because baking cookies is not a typical guy thing but it's worth a try ;)
Good idea, thanks.

[Howard]

When I don't look where I'm walking,I bump into things. :rolleyes: