Can you believe the nerve?

[PrincessB]

Ok guys. I'm just on a rant right now because I'm raving mad! As some of you know, I rescued a kitten this past winter that was weaned from his mother too soon and left for dead in -30 degree Celsius weather. We have a bright and quiet home where there are really no dangers or worries in his life. I know how much small changes can stress out cats so we keep a routine with him and try to provide him with a happy and overall healthy life.

I have company over once in a while and enjoy baking with the kids and spending time with them. Our guests are always very respectful and our little kitty just loves when people come over to play with him!

Today my bf's bff's kids came over with their mom. Shortly after their arrival the 3 year old football kicked my cat multiple times! It happened more than once because we couldn't rush over to him fast enough. We weren't very far either, and our calls for him to stop went ignored. If that wasn't bad enough, when his mom got up to take him away from the distressed cat he threw the cat's toy at his head (it is quite heavy to be throwing at anybody's head) and tried to kick it again.

Now this little brat was laughing and giggling the whole time... I hinted that they needed to leave but the mom didn't get the message. I had to put my cat in the other room (its his damn house!) until the company left, and the kid kept trying to go in the room to "play" with the cat some more.

I told the mom she needed to have her kid checked (in a gentle manner) because parents of children that are unnecessarily violent towards animals (the cat was minding his own business when the kid started) should discuss such things with the pediatrician. I know...I DON'T HAVE KIDS! I know well enough that the kid being 3 isn't an excuse.

What is wrong with kid's parents?

[Howard]

Wow,what is wrong with kids these days? It seems some parents don't have much control with kids ,they're always rambunkious.

[mykidsmom2]

Allow me to quote you on part of your message...because I partially agree with this:

"I told the mom she needed to have her kid checked (in a gentle manner) because parents of children that are unnecessarily violent towards animals (the cat was minding his own business when the kid started) should discuss such things with the pediatrician. I know...I DON'T HAVE KIDS! I know well enough that the kid being 3 isn't an excuse."

Keep in mind the age of the child and that when a child of that age acts out it has to be addressed ON THE SPOT and not five minutes, ten minutes or even when they get home. Have you ever watched three year old open christmas gifts? They open it all excited and move quickly onto the next often forgetting what they had opened five minutes ago. My point...it's a parenting thing, that simply needed to be taken down to a three year olds level.
Little Johnny needed to have his mom take him by the hand and explain to him that while it is ok to play with the kitten, he is not a toy he is a living creature. Just like xmas gifts, he would need the parent to tell him this is from so-and-so please thank them. I cannot imagine for one moment that she wasn't thoroughly embarrassed by what her son did. It wouldn't hurt to have a frank conversation with her the next time you talk to her. Let her know that next time they come visit with Little Johnny you would like to speak with him about how Kitty is to be treated and what some "house yes' and no's" (aka. rules) are to be followed. As a mother she'll LOVE the fact that it is your house and someone else can enforce the rules for once!!!!

My daughter at age 3 grabbed my neighbors hampster by the head and nearly killed it. I was mortified, but took the chance to explain it. If it had happened with my first child I wouldn't have known what to do!! Parenting is truly a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants gig!

I think you handled it well, but put yourself in the parents shoes. Whether you have kids or not there is that natural instinct that you can draw from.

[PrincessB]

Mykidsmom:

It is proven that age and developmental stage is no excuse for violence against an innocent animal. It was not a case of the child not knowing how to be gentle with the kitten, it was a matter of violent behavior and such behavior is indicative of a "budding psychopath" to quote a world-renowned authority on child psychology. At three years old, to go up to an animal and start to beat it senselessly and throw things with intent to harm, its time to talk to a pediatrician and take a closer look at things.

[mykidsmom2]

PrincessB:

If you feel that strongly regarding the theory from a "world-renowned authority on child psychology" then next time have her keep her "budding psychopath" at home. Afterall, it is your home and your kitten that he is abusing.
If you are not opposed to some advice though; from a mothers stand point, I would refrain from mentioning the words "budding psychopath" to this mother. You may offend her.
I do wish you luck, I don't envy your situation. Hope your kitten is doing well.

[PrincessB]

LOL! No. I know that in writing here it sounds like I was quite harsh. No mother would be pleased with a suggestion to discuss their child's behavior with a pediatrician, but I really tried to be as sensitive as possible in what I said. Had she had an appropriate reaction beyond sitting on her duff yelling her kid's name and acting like it was nobody's business, I may not have expressed any concern.

I already have problems with this mom and her husband and only tolerate them minimally and respectfully for the sake of the 28 year friendship they have with my SO. They were not invited guests in my home and ignored my diplomatic attempt at asking them to leave. I could spend all day listing examples of concerns for the mental and emotional health, and development of the kids. It is none of my business until they are in my home disrespecting my family and property.

I know you know MyKidsMom2, that as a childless woman I have to be very careful of what I say and how I react. I am VERY sensitive to parents and the challenges they face with children in public places and the homes of others. I think that would be a nice new thread to start actually. A thread for all to discuss how difficult and uncomfortable it is for parents to discipline and attend their children in public.

[eightball61]

My son is three and with this behavior it is my belief to teach the child the wrong doing not just assume they should know. Even as adult we all learn something new everyday by the choices we make from errors. The develoment of a child is the same way. They may see the wrong doing but do they understand? The child needs to taught from the responsible parent from right to wrong and if continues then the responsible parent should see it as a red flag and talk to the doctor.

[lvl3]

I love kids to death but I'd flip if kids kicked my kitten despite age. The first time I'd be incredibly vocal that if it happened again they would no longer be welcome in my house. That kid would have gotten a lecture, and if the parents complained they'd have gotten a lecture too. If they didn't like it then they'd be gone, there's no way they wouldn't later be eaten up by guilt that their kid kicked a kitten and come appologizing later, and if not I see no point to be friends with them. BUT to be fair I love my kitten to peices, I live alone and she sleeps with me every night and jumps on me every morning to get up. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a kid so it's possible I'm overprotective of her, but I couldn't see myself holding back anything if kids were tourchering my kitten. I mean, I wouldn't even dream of laying a single hand on them, but I'd have no problem giving them a peice of my mind (using kid appropriate words) I might even call them duddy heads.

[PrincessB]

So I had the surprise party for SO on Saturday, and out of obligation (since they're his Godkids and his best friend), they were invited. They let their kids run wild! The little boy threw a tonka truck at my sister's 9 week old pup, and the daughter grabbed a glass of booze and downed it in seconds (the parents sat were unmoved). The father had to be told multiple times to not smoke around the grandparents and babies (I set up an awesome smoking area for the guests). After the parents were told several times not to allow their kids into the garage (where the buffet was) because they would let their kids run wild and touch everything, I had to take fertilizer away from the son (cat kicker) and remove him while his parents sat unconcerned with the activities of their children on the other side of the property. All the guests hear for the two hours they were there were the kids' names being yelled out...I felt some relief that everyone finally got to see what I've been seeing for the last two years. They will not be invited to future events, obligations or not.

[PrincessB]

I'd like to add that the reason these people were invited is because both sets of parents (my own and the SO's insisted and it was at my parent's house) insisted.

[PrincessB]

I love kids to death but I'd flip if kids kicked my kitten despite age. The first time I'd be incredibly vocal that if it happened again they would no longer be welcome in my house. That kid would have gotten a lecture, and if the parents complained they'd have gotten a lecture too. If they didn't like it then they'd be gone, there's no way they wouldn't later be eaten up by guilt that their kid kicked a kitten and come appologizing later, and if not I see no point to be friends with them. BUT to be fair I love my kitten to peices, I live alone and she sleeps with me every night and jumps on me every morning to get up. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a kid so it's possible I'm overprotective of her, but I couldn't see myself holding back anything if kids were tourchering my kitten. I mean, I wouldn't even dream of laying a single hand on them, but I'd have no problem giving them a peice of my mind (using kid appropriate words) I might even call them duddy heads.

Oh I know! I have to be careful how I approach things because of past incidents. ie: Everything I say is scrutinized because I've had so many problems with them. I have to make sure that I'm calm in reacting and choose my battles wisely so not to reinforce the common opinion that I react for no other reason than strongly disliking the couple.

I've already told this bff of my SO that I do not like him and told him why, and that didn't go over so well LOL! I speak my mind and stand up for what I believe to be right. Terrible things have been said in the past and until recently my SO used to always stick up for his friend...He's finally manned up, but most incidents he's not even around to see what I'm talking about. I have a thick skin, but I have zero tolerance for comments on my nationality, skin color, weight, and lies such as the most recent: The bff claims I was so drunk over the last Christmas that I dropped a cigarette on the floor of his home and put it out with my bare foot! Everyone that was there that night including my SO put him in his place but it doesn't stop it.

My SO has limited contact since, and was disgusted by his bff's family so much he hasn't been socializing with them much at all, except for in group settings where the couple are present. They are no longer welcome in my home and they know that I refuse to have anything further to do with them.

[Howard]

I love kids to death but I'd flip if kids kicked my kitten despite age. The first time I'd be incredibly vocal that if it happened again they would no longer be welcome in my house. That kid would have gotten a lecture, and if the parents complained they'd have gotten a lecture too. If they didn't like it then they'd be gone, there's no way they wouldn't later be eaten up by guilt that their kid kicked a kitten and come appologizing later, and if not I see no point to be friends with them. BUT to be fair I love my kitten to peices, I live alone and she sleeps with me every night and jumps on me every morning to get up. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a kid so it's possible I'm overprotective of her, but I couldn't see myself holding back anything if kids were tourchering my kitten. I mean, I wouldn't even dream of laying a single hand on them, but I'd have no problem giving them a peice of my mind (using kid appropriate words) I might even call them duddy heads.

Maybe disciplining them would help?