renam
05-20-2010, 05:11 PM
Hello. My fiancé and I have been together for 4.5 years. We live together.
Our relationship is more then I could hope for in terms of how we get along, etc. He is a very honest person, a sweet person, a good person. He has the same values and morals I do, works hard, and is very fun to be with. We share interests in the same hobbies and enjoy our life together.
However when it comes to our ual relationship it's totally different.
He is more ually reserved then I am. Example would be, I don't get embarrassed talking about , , etc. whereas he would. He isn't a total square or stick in the mud, just much more reserved ually then I am. It's really not a big deal but does factor in I believe.
Our life is not what I want. He is satisfied (and always has been, this isn't new) with once a week or once every two weeks. I am not. I would prefer having a couple times per week. When you work full time etc, that's all a person can manage. LOL I am fine with that. Totally. But he wants it less. He always has. He doesn't try to start anything up with me ever, and doesn't ever seem to make me feel y, wanted, hot, feminine, etc. He seemingly has a hard time expressing himself. Example would be...with many other men I've been with, it's not out of the ordinary for them to send me a dirty text, or whisper something dirty in my ear while out once in awhile, etc. Just keeping things spicy...my fiancé does not do this. Ever.
When we DO have , it's pretty satisfying. I'd say it's 95% satisfying for me when we actually have . The other 5% is just normal "i'd like more of this" or "more of that"...because I really am happy with the "how" we do it when we actually do it. It's just the "when" and the feelings of intimacy between a couple. The sharing of little dirty jokes, or the flirting etc.
This is also not something that has just started. He's always been like this. I knew this in the beginning. But I am finding my self esteem is effected by it as time has gone on. We fight about this. Not unhealthy way but we do have fights about it. Most recently...we haven't had in awhile. About a week and a half. So the other night, even though we both agreed to get some sleep as we were dead tired.....I pulled my pants down and put his hand on me "down there" just being a flirt...trying to tease him a little...etc. He immediately pulled his hand away so fast, I thought my lady parts had burned him. He right away knew I was hurt...and said he just pulled away because he didn't want to start anything. But frankly, I don't know any man that reacts like that to his woman.
I am sure there are more details needed. But for now, can anyone give me a different perspective, some insight, some advice?
Our relationship is more then I could hope for in terms of how we get along, etc. He is a very honest person, a sweet person, a good person. He has the same values and morals I do, works hard, and is very fun to be with. We share interests in the same hobbies and enjoy our life together.
However when it comes to our ual relationship it's totally different.
He is more ually reserved then I am. Example would be, I don't get embarrassed talking about , , etc. whereas he would. He isn't a total square or stick in the mud, just much more reserved ually then I am. It's really not a big deal but does factor in I believe.
Our life is not what I want. He is satisfied (and always has been, this isn't new) with once a week or once every two weeks. I am not. I would prefer having a couple times per week. When you work full time etc, that's all a person can manage. LOL I am fine with that. Totally. But he wants it less. He always has. He doesn't try to start anything up with me ever, and doesn't ever seem to make me feel y, wanted, hot, feminine, etc. He seemingly has a hard time expressing himself. Example would be...with many other men I've been with, it's not out of the ordinary for them to send me a dirty text, or whisper something dirty in my ear while out once in awhile, etc. Just keeping things spicy...my fiancé does not do this. Ever.
When we DO have , it's pretty satisfying. I'd say it's 95% satisfying for me when we actually have . The other 5% is just normal "i'd like more of this" or "more of that"...because I really am happy with the "how" we do it when we actually do it. It's just the "when" and the feelings of intimacy between a couple. The sharing of little dirty jokes, or the flirting etc.
This is also not something that has just started. He's always been like this. I knew this in the beginning. But I am finding my self esteem is effected by it as time has gone on. We fight about this. Not unhealthy way but we do have fights about it. Most recently...we haven't had in awhile. About a week and a half. So the other night, even though we both agreed to get some sleep as we were dead tired.....I pulled my pants down and put his hand on me "down there" just being a flirt...trying to tease him a little...etc. He immediately pulled his hand away so fast, I thought my lady parts had burned him. He right away knew I was hurt...and said he just pulled away because he didn't want to start anything. But frankly, I don't know any man that reacts like that to his woman.
I am sure there are more details needed. But for now, can anyone give me a different perspective, some insight, some advice?