My colleague, and he is my good friend told me that he likes me... what should I do?

[Melady]

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum and currently I'm in a very silly situation that I need urgent advice form you lovely people. Here is the story. I'm married, he is married too, he is lovely young guy about my age group, we have been good friends for about 3 years now, we were chatting a lot and I really enjoyed his company. Not quite long he started to acting very differently towards me, he often asking different questions about my husband, he always approaches very closely to me, anytime whenever he has a chance he touches my hands, sitting very close to me... Not a quite long we were chatting and then, very supposedly he told me that he really likes me. I was soo ashamed that I did not know where to look. The trouble is, I do respect him so much but only as a good colleague and a good friend. I do not want to have any relationship with him more than a ordinary friendship, he knows that I'm married, he was there when I got pregnant and had my baby, he knows everything about me, he knows that I love my husband and I would never leave him or cheat on him, I do not know what to do now.....:confused: I really want to stop his behavior as soon as it is possible, but at same time I don't want to loss a good friend. How can I stop his behaviour without harming our friendship? I do like him a lot as a friend, and I would hate if I'll end up everything with him. Guys I really need advice.... I could see that things are getting too far, and it really need to be stopped.


Thanks,

[alicia]

then just tell him straight but in a good way that you don't want to have a relationship with him. it's hard but much better and you won't have to deal with your conscience.

[smackie9]

Just tell him straight out what you told us. And don't sugarcoat it because if you do it will look like a maybe not a NO to him. If your friendship does end, that should tell you he based your friendship on the ual attraction he has for you. So really it's not the friendship you would want to continue with would it.

[BorealSoul]

Guys advice? OK.

Straight up tell him how it is with you. He'll figure out if he can remain friends with you or not. Don't be surprised if he distances himself for a goodwhile, although if he is a good friend, he'll be back.

Smackie had it right (again dammit!)

BTW, why would you hate it if telling him he is being inappropriate means losing his friendship? Why would you want it? His feelings/actions towards you went beyond the boundaries.... think of his wife! (I do know this is a great ego stroke).

This tough situation is just the price that has to be paid on occassion when adults chose to have opposite close friendships. These things can and do happen, frequently by my estimation.

[cristian9854]

Wahtever you do you will no longer be friends. May be in love or is only a passion (ual attraction). Anyway i think you should tell him the true even if he gets mad and he will no loger be your friend. You better lose a friend instead your husband.