melgado18
06-17-2010, 01:50 AM
to users,
im new to the website and just want to know other peoples opinions on this.. your input is greatly appreciated!
ok so to start.. my boyfriend (we can call him jeb even though thats not his name) and i have been dating for about a year and a half now we just moved in together about 5 months ago and have been doing decently. when i decided to move in with him it was kind of like "hey im moving, whether you come with me or not" so i moved in with him. for the first 3 months i was crying my eyes out cause i was super home sick, i guess you could say i just wasnt ready to move out even though i was at the age of doing so. anyway, that whole time i was too sad to be "in the mood" for any ual activity and i was cranky. so i can understand jeb feeling pushed away at that point. proud and thankful, he stayed loyal to me during that time.
ok now for some history..
in the beg of our relationship (3 months in) i had a sudden urge to go through jeb's phone. i know thats messed up but i dont know what made me do it. iv never been a nosey one. anyway i found a few text messages to an old fu** buddy of his that pretty much said "i love you too, miss you , when are you coming to see me" at that point i thought we were nothing serious so i threatened to leave him. his excuse was, "i didnt think it would mean that much to you." so he promised to stop and told the girl not to talk to him anymore. i let it slide cause we had only been dating for a few months. at this point my trust in him was below normal and i started to check his phone more often and wonder who he would talk to on the phone. yes yes i know thats messed up too. but what can ya say when the trust is ruined, its ruined. so about 3 months later i went through his phone, kind of as a follow up search.. and found a few text messages from that girl again, stating that he was sorry about how things went earlier and hoped they could still keep in touch. i was upset cause to me that meant, "lets still keep each other in mind in case this relationship doesnt work". so this time i was pretty much walking-out-the-door breaking up with him, what pissed me off was when i would call her names he would stand up for her. i felt a tinge of hope with us. so... naturally i let it slide again. its not like they hooked up, they were just texting. besides he promised not to do it again cause he saw how upset i was.
recently (as in two months ago), i decided to do another "follow-up" phone search and in jeb's myspace sent-box i found messages to that same girl. this time it was him saying "please save me from my hell" then she replied and he said "oh thank god you replied! you still want to talk to me!" then the conversation stops like as if he deleted it. i confronted him one more time and this time his excuse was "i didnt want her to hate me, im just a nice guy" all i had to say to that was if you didnt care about her like you say you dont then you wouldnt care if she hated you.
so.. we just moved into an apartment together and i found out he was talking to the girl about two months after we were living together. i have to admit, i can understand he was feeling bored with me cause again i was cranky, bi***y, homesick/emotional, and not in the mood for . but at this point we have gone so far and i still love him to death but im starting to think this chain of love between him and this other girl will never end. before me he said they had been talking for 3 years and had been f**k buddies for a lot of it.. never actually dated. i hate to make a rash decision cause i understand people make mistakes, im just having trouble knowing when i have given him too many chances.
thanks for listening
MJ
PS! ever since we moved in together he has showed this terrible drinking (alcohol) habit and we get in arguments every time he brings beer home to put in the fridge, am i doing the right thing or should it be ok?
im new to the website and just want to know other peoples opinions on this.. your input is greatly appreciated!
ok so to start.. my boyfriend (we can call him jeb even though thats not his name) and i have been dating for about a year and a half now we just moved in together about 5 months ago and have been doing decently. when i decided to move in with him it was kind of like "hey im moving, whether you come with me or not" so i moved in with him. for the first 3 months i was crying my eyes out cause i was super home sick, i guess you could say i just wasnt ready to move out even though i was at the age of doing so. anyway, that whole time i was too sad to be "in the mood" for any ual activity and i was cranky. so i can understand jeb feeling pushed away at that point. proud and thankful, he stayed loyal to me during that time.
ok now for some history..
in the beg of our relationship (3 months in) i had a sudden urge to go through jeb's phone. i know thats messed up but i dont know what made me do it. iv never been a nosey one. anyway i found a few text messages to an old fu** buddy of his that pretty much said "i love you too, miss you , when are you coming to see me" at that point i thought we were nothing serious so i threatened to leave him. his excuse was, "i didnt think it would mean that much to you." so he promised to stop and told the girl not to talk to him anymore. i let it slide cause we had only been dating for a few months. at this point my trust in him was below normal and i started to check his phone more often and wonder who he would talk to on the phone. yes yes i know thats messed up too. but what can ya say when the trust is ruined, its ruined. so about 3 months later i went through his phone, kind of as a follow up search.. and found a few text messages from that girl again, stating that he was sorry about how things went earlier and hoped they could still keep in touch. i was upset cause to me that meant, "lets still keep each other in mind in case this relationship doesnt work". so this time i was pretty much walking-out-the-door breaking up with him, what pissed me off was when i would call her names he would stand up for her. i felt a tinge of hope with us. so... naturally i let it slide again. its not like they hooked up, they were just texting. besides he promised not to do it again cause he saw how upset i was.
recently (as in two months ago), i decided to do another "follow-up" phone search and in jeb's myspace sent-box i found messages to that same girl. this time it was him saying "please save me from my hell" then she replied and he said "oh thank god you replied! you still want to talk to me!" then the conversation stops like as if he deleted it. i confronted him one more time and this time his excuse was "i didnt want her to hate me, im just a nice guy" all i had to say to that was if you didnt care about her like you say you dont then you wouldnt care if she hated you.
so.. we just moved into an apartment together and i found out he was talking to the girl about two months after we were living together. i have to admit, i can understand he was feeling bored with me cause again i was cranky, bi***y, homesick/emotional, and not in the mood for . but at this point we have gone so far and i still love him to death but im starting to think this chain of love between him and this other girl will never end. before me he said they had been talking for 3 years and had been f**k buddies for a lot of it.. never actually dated. i hate to make a rash decision cause i understand people make mistakes, im just having trouble knowing when i have given him too many chances.
thanks for listening
MJ
PS! ever since we moved in together he has showed this terrible drinking (alcohol) habit and we get in arguments every time he brings beer home to put in the fridge, am i doing the right thing or should it be ok?