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View Full Version : What to do ??


Sir Anton
06-24-2010, 11:46 AM
Hi all, please comment i would like to hear your views.

I am a 37yr old male engaged to a 27yr old female. The engagement was broken off by me.
A litle history. I have been divorced for 9yrs. I met my ex-fiance 3.5yrs ago. I stay alone and have my 2 kids stay with me for 2 weeks at a time and then they stay with their biological mother for 2 weeks aswell. This is our cycle. My ex-fiance had been staying with her parents mostly and has attepmted to move out twice now only to find herself back at the parents to help financially and to keep a close eye on them. I am not a very big talker and never have been. However my partner is, and to add a very deep serious one about total openess. I have been trying to be as deeply open as her but with the guide of her help to get me their. I have tried to be her everything in life as far as looking out for her, and accepting her parents as she has accepted my kids. Physically i have put in all the effort to be by her side. However, emotionally i tend to battle their a bit. As much as i want to be on that level with her i get it wrong every time. In the past month or so we had been in a very bad spot with each other. Not talking, no happiness ... nothing!. This at a time when i so needed her physical attention to which i was not getting. To add to it, me not being all that open and always trying to avoid conflict, i could not get through. Knowingly we were on a path of destruction i would continue to get through, however, maybe i did not do enough or the rite things not said ... i dont know. Anyway i got to a stage where i was soo deeply in need of any TLC from her that when i was not getting it. I did the most stupid thing and walked out on us. This being 4 months prior to our wedding day. It was all just a hope that she could see how badly i needed her to come through for me. Well i am now to pay the price that i may never see her again. I have broken all trust and believe that she may have with me. Now the problem is I Love her so deeply and made an enormous mistake, but i know she does still love me. What do i do ???

smackie9
07-15-2010, 07:18 PM
If you only knew how to communicate this would never had happend. And I suspect this may have been an underlying problem in your previous marriage.
Since you know what your problem is, I have a suggestion that may turn this around. Both of you seek out couples counseling. They will teach you both how to communicate and understand what the other is actually saying so you don't have to worry about "conflict" from confrontation. Good communication is key for any type of relationship to survive. Best of luck.