Byron
03-01-2004, 12:37 PM
Me and my wife have been doing a business together for a few years. It's our little business. A 2 person business. We have no employees so we do all the work ourselves. We have a joint bank account where we deposited all the earnings as savings. Every month all the money we made goes to the account. I do not spend or waste it. We do not have children yet but we are planning to have one in the near future.
Every month I give my wife some money to pay all her expenses and money to spend. It's not a lot but it's enough. I paid for almost everything whenever we go out. When we shop, I forgo things I want, to buy things which she likes. But i don't mind cos i love her and want her to be happy. I have also been paying for business expenses out of my own pocket. When expenses are high, I just told myself to work harder. We share a dream to work hard together for a better future.
But over the years I realised that I was doing 90% of the work. I was the one who think, worry, plan and work the business day and night. The business is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind before I sleep. But i am not an all work not no play person. I work hard but every week i take time to bring my wife out, shopping, movies, to restaurants and spend time with her family.
For her, she wakes up everyday after 12pm or 1pm. Every night she will sleep late at 4am. She love chatting on instant messangers. It's on the whole day, the moment she wakes up at 12pm till she sleeps at 4am. If she is not chatting, she will spend her time with her pets or just chat about pets with her friends.
She chat with friends when they are working. She continue to chat when her friends reach home from work. I told her that her friends are working and getting paid for wasting their boss's time but we need to earn our own income so we cannot waste time like this. I don't want to see my loved wasting her life away. I asked her to wake up earlier, to lead a normal life and don't waste time. I have told her many times but she just don't care. She continues to chat till 4am and wake up at 12pm. Many days and late nights when i was busy working, she was happily wasting her time away. I am tired, burnt out and stressed.
Often, many days will pass and she did not do any productive thing. Whenever I remind her, she will work on that day but on the next day she will be back at her old pattern again. Other times, when I remind her, she will be angry and we quarrel. She is very argumentative sometimes. Even when she knows she was at fault, she just want to argue, give all sorts of excuses and slam down the phone on me.
When we quarrel, sometimes i want to leave the house for a while so i don't quarrel with her or make things worse. She don't allow me to leave and instead, she lock me in the house, keep my things and hide the keys.
Sometimes she uses her hands to pinch and scratch me so bad that i get cuts and blue black on my body. I never and will never use my hands on her. We have already quarrelled many times and this is putting a strain on our relationship.
It's not that she is not interested. She wants the business but told me she is lazy. I feel that she wants to share a dream but don't want to work for it. I have ask her, plead with her, reason with her, beg her and even scold her. I have tried all ways of reasoning to ask her not to waste her time and her life away, and put in just a little more efforts into our business. She just don't care.
I have tried many times. I failed. I'm a fool who looks forward and works hard towards a shared dream, only to discover that I was the only one dreaming all along.
Every month I give my wife some money to pay all her expenses and money to spend. It's not a lot but it's enough. I paid for almost everything whenever we go out. When we shop, I forgo things I want, to buy things which she likes. But i don't mind cos i love her and want her to be happy. I have also been paying for business expenses out of my own pocket. When expenses are high, I just told myself to work harder. We share a dream to work hard together for a better future.
But over the years I realised that I was doing 90% of the work. I was the one who think, worry, plan and work the business day and night. The business is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind before I sleep. But i am not an all work not no play person. I work hard but every week i take time to bring my wife out, shopping, movies, to restaurants and spend time with her family.
For her, she wakes up everyday after 12pm or 1pm. Every night she will sleep late at 4am. She love chatting on instant messangers. It's on the whole day, the moment she wakes up at 12pm till she sleeps at 4am. If she is not chatting, she will spend her time with her pets or just chat about pets with her friends.
She chat with friends when they are working. She continue to chat when her friends reach home from work. I told her that her friends are working and getting paid for wasting their boss's time but we need to earn our own income so we cannot waste time like this. I don't want to see my loved wasting her life away. I asked her to wake up earlier, to lead a normal life and don't waste time. I have told her many times but she just don't care. She continues to chat till 4am and wake up at 12pm. Many days and late nights when i was busy working, she was happily wasting her time away. I am tired, burnt out and stressed.
Often, many days will pass and she did not do any productive thing. Whenever I remind her, she will work on that day but on the next day she will be back at her old pattern again. Other times, when I remind her, she will be angry and we quarrel. She is very argumentative sometimes. Even when she knows she was at fault, she just want to argue, give all sorts of excuses and slam down the phone on me.
When we quarrel, sometimes i want to leave the house for a while so i don't quarrel with her or make things worse. She don't allow me to leave and instead, she lock me in the house, keep my things and hide the keys.
Sometimes she uses her hands to pinch and scratch me so bad that i get cuts and blue black on my body. I never and will never use my hands on her. We have already quarrelled many times and this is putting a strain on our relationship.
It's not that she is not interested. She wants the business but told me she is lazy. I feel that she wants to share a dream but don't want to work for it. I have ask her, plead with her, reason with her, beg her and even scold her. I have tried all ways of reasoning to ask her not to waste her time and her life away, and put in just a little more efforts into our business. She just don't care.
I have tried many times. I failed. I'm a fool who looks forward and works hard towards a shared dream, only to discover that I was the only one dreaming all along.