He says he doesn't wanna stay together when he gets deployed...

[trissy]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating about 2 months, so this issue isn't TOO pressing right now, but I figured I'd ask sooner rather than later. My boyfriend brought up the subject of his deployment a while ago (he is going to Iraq sometime next spring) and how he does not want to stay in the relationship when he goes overseas. He says he doesn't wanna have to worry. Does this "worry" mean he doesn't wanna worry about how I'm doing or he doesn't wanna worry about me being faithful? I'm guessing its the latter. He's been cheated on in the past because his relationships generally end up being long distance (ours is as well when I go back to school for 4 and a half months, but we're staying together then.). He always says how happy he is in this relationship, and I don't see why he would just want to break up when he gets deployed. He also says that when he gets back, we can see if the magic is still there between us.

The thing is, if we break up when he gets deployed, I do not have any intention on seeing other guys when he is gone in hopes of going back into his arms when he gets back here.

What we feel between us is more than just lust or puppy love. I wouldn't say I am in love with him yet, but he makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have him there for me. Right now we only see each other once a week, and I think that alone is strengthening our relationship. I want to stay with him for his deployment (given the condition we're still doing well when the time comes); what should I do??

[Esjay]

Hi Trissy

The first thing you need to do is ask him what he means by "worry" about you. If it is that he is worried about your faithfulness to him then that is something you will be able to discuss together and you may be able to reassure him and put his mind at ease and then the breakup won't be necessary.

If however it is because he will worry about how you are doing then if this will really be an issue for him, then be understanding and agree with him that breaking up will be a good idea then. You will need to decide whether or not you'll wait for him, and that decision may change as you go through the different stages of being separated.

Right now you don't need to worry about whether you will wait for him or not. You need to first find out what he means by "worry" about you. Your relationship is still very new and so it is a good idea to start practicing open communication now because the longer you leave it the harder it will get further down the line.

Hope this helps you!

[HeyHey89]

Take it from someone who was in the military, he is worried about both. It is hard to be overseas and have the added pressure of making it home to your loved one in one piece. Plus he probably worries about you worrying about it. Also the fact that you have only been together for two months, that means he is worried about being faithful for both of you. If it is meant to be you guys will date again after any deployment. Who knows, maybe he will have a change of heart.