totally confused on what to do

[cunfusedmomof2]

I am a 38 year old mother of 2 boys . Ages 8 and 12 . We live with there father . I have been with him for 16 years on and off . He suffers from some kind of depression and ansity . has been verbally abusive in the past and now says i wont do it again im sorry . but after the fact that i didnt leave the house sometimes for weeks straight and my self essteam is totally gone . . I reconected with a old high school flame. I am Bipolar and on medication for it since getting on the medication have relized I still love him very much and he feels the same. I don't feel that way for my boys father . I have only stayed since i returned to him in 2006 for the boys not for love . I have been very unhappy for years . now I have tried to tell him i was done with our relationship just 2 days ago and he begs pleads and talks suicidal . so i stayed . again. but I really want out and want to be with the person I love and want to be with . I just want out but dont know how to without a fight to have my boys with me . I have no family to help me or job even the car i drive is in his name i think im trapped totally . the man i have fallen in love with just started working again and has roommates and no car at the moment so he cant help . am i being nutty for wanting to leave someone i dont love anymore for my own happiness ( because high school flame treats me like a queen builds my self esteam up and wants to marry me and has set the date and started planning (if i want to marry him )the boys dad has postponed it at least a dozen times in 15 years ) and not thinking of my boys needing there dad any advice would help im so confused right now .thankyou confused mom of 2:confused:

[Bacioni]

If you're really not happy and sure you are out of love with your children's father, it's not wrong to want out.

Since he is obviously severely depressed due to his threat of suicide if you leave him, it sounds like a third party is needed - a counselor. You both can get your feelings out and the counselor will know how to help him cope with your decision. Before anything, though, you need to make yourself more independent so you can get out of this more easily. The first step would be to get a job. I not only say this for the sake of getting yourself out of an unhealthy relationship, but in order to have custody of your boys, you need to be seen as well established.