View Full Version : Is there any reason to hope and do I still have a chance?
JGolds29
05-05-2005, 07:51 PM
Hello everyone, and thank you in advance for any advice. My situation is a bit complicated, and it spans over a period of 4 years. My ex-girlfriend and I are both college students who dated throughout high school and were together for about 3 years until last summer, when she decided that she needed to be single. As a result, she broke up with me, and during this time, we tried to remain friends, mostly with me constantly wondering what she was doing and always calling and IMing her (which in retrospect was the completely wrong thing to do). She ended up dating one guy who treated her horribly, and she also messed around with two other guys that pretty much just used her. After a period of 5 months of dealing with these jerks and not finding a relationship, she decided that she wanted us to get back together. I took her back because I really felt that she was the one for me and all of the stuff she did while we were broken up was in the past. For the last six months we have been back together with the plans of getting engaged and married after we both finish college. However, just recently, she told me that she was really confused about us and our future together, and she needed time to think things through. She said that she still loved me and she isn't interested in other guys, but she felt that she needed more time to be with her friends and not worry about me getting upset with her going out and partying. Basically, she said that I don't trust her enough. I pretty much flipped out at this, telling her that this was completely unfair to me after everything she put me through during the first break-up and she was so lucky to have me in her life. I told her that it was the best thing for me to break up because I didn't think it was fair for me to have to wait for her again. I told her that if she ultimately decided that she wanted to be with me because she really was in love with me and as long as she didn't mess around with anyone else that I would take her back. But I also said that if I had moved on and possibly found someone else then it would be too late for her. So as of right now, I am not contacting her and trying to do my own thing. I still love her so much and desperately want us to get back together, but I also realize that she probably doesn't want that right now. So I am trying to keep busy, and hopefully she will make up her mind so we can either get back together or I can move on for good. If anyone can give me any advice or relate similar experiences, it would be greatly appreciated.
eightball61
05-05-2005, 08:30 PM
This is very unfair and I agree with you on that but life in general can be very unfair at times. You have allready given this girl a second chance so now its time you think about your needs/wants and go with your plan on moving on. All you can do is respect the fact that she doesn't want a relationship.
It hurts because you have been through this a second time but you now can eliminate that by moving on. It may be ok to stay friends with her if you like to but don't stall your life hoping she will come back. If you find someone else then take that other chance because you are right and she did lose her chance. Its going to be hard but the only thing you can do is move on.
quad aces
05-05-2005, 09:43 PM
very unfair to you. all you can do is let her go stay away from her and see what happens. If you find someone else thats great, but if she wants to come back be prepared for a tough tough decision. These things are not easy on the heart especially when you got more love for someone than they have for you
JGolds29
05-05-2005, 10:38 PM
Thank you both for the response; I greatly appreciate it. The biggest problem for me last time was giving her space and I was continually contacting her. This time I have learned my lesson, and I have done everything (blocked her from my AIM, deleted her phone numbers, etc.) to give her the space she needs and the opportunity for me to move on. Having gone through this before, I know how hard it is, but I am determined to get on with my life without her. I have realized that if she doesn't want to be with me after everything we have gone through then she just isn't worth my time and I definitely deserve better.
eightball61
05-06-2005, 10:53 AM
I know that you are angry and fustrated right now but you do what you need to do to move on. You have made up your mind about moving on because you learned from the lesson before. Stick to the game plan and stay strong even though it may take time to get over her. This is not a quick and easy process because healing takes time but sooner or latter you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Basically, what I am trying to say is its not the end of the world so keep you head up.
Go out and date other women.
You will either find out that you truly do love your ex-GF or that you truly don't love your ex-GF.
But give it an honest go.
If you wait for her and she does come back, you will always have a little resentment that she got to "have fun with others", but that you didn't.
Go make an active attempt to be with other girls.
Do you think that out of ALL the girls in this world, that you found the right one for the rest of your life on the first try? Do you really?
If you did, then you would be like one of the few out of the millions and millions of couples out there. Are you that lucky of a person?
Go meet other girls. You'll be surprised at what you'll find.
vaiolust
05-08-2005, 04:53 AM
I think, if this girl makes you happy.. no matter what she has done in the past.. or what things were unfair.. no matter what your friends say, or anyone else for that matter, if you feel that you love her, even when it seems unfair, you owe it to your heart to go after her, even when it just seems.. well.. stupid.. in the end, it might have been stupid to not pursue the relationship and dream of how it would have been.. i say follow your heart, no matter what anyone says.. if she has done all this to you, and you still love her.. then there absolutly must be something there.. a true love in a sense.. i say follow it up! :)
JGolds29
05-08-2005, 06:57 AM
[QUOTE=vaiolust]I think, if this girl makes you happy.. no matter what she has done in the past.. or what things were unfair.. no matter what your friends say, or anyone else for that matter, if you feel that you love her, even when it seems unfair, you owe it to your heart to go after her, even when it just seems.. well.. stupid.. in the end, it might have been stupid to not pursue the relationship and dream of how i: H L H s H H H H H 2 H M H H # H 7 H i H H H H H H 5 H u H H H H H { I
p I T I . I! & I! + I! , I! I! I- _ I< Y I< " I? v I? I@ S IC n ID A IE IE % IE IE IE IE IE IE IE IE IE 7 IF IF IF IL m IL IL IM IN 1 IQ 6 IQ 9 IR d IR IR IR IR IS ; IU ' IU ( IU % IU ) IU * IU 9 IU ; IV 8 IV R IV IV , IW " IW / IW IX IX IX IX IX IX IX IX * IX 0 IX N IX IX IX IX IX IX IX IY IY IY IY IY ```j?j?00 $sty 0 h sessi o contact and moving on.
vaiolust
05-11-2005, 07:00 AM
umm.. i didnt quite get that.. lol maybe its just me :p
eightball61
05-11-2005, 11:45 AM
umm.. i didnt quite get that.. lol maybe its just me :p
I tried to decode it myself but I had to much of a hard time.....So no, its not just you ;)
Howard
05-11-2005, 09:21 PM
[QUOTE=vaiolust]I think, if this girl makes you happy.. no matter what she has done in the past.. or what things were unfair.. no matter what your friends say, or anyone else for that matter, if you feel that you love her, even when it seems unfair, you owe it to your heart to go after her, even when it just seems.. well.. stupid.. in the end, it might have been stupid to not pursue the relationship and dream of how i:HLHsHΚHHHH2HMHH#H7HiHHHH HH5HuHHHHH{I
pITI.I!&I!+I!,I!I!I-_I<YI<"I?vI?I@SICnIDAIEIE%IEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE 7IFIFIFILmILILIM IN1IQ6IQ9IRdIRIRIRIR IS;IU'IU(IU%IU)IU*IU 9IU;IV8IVRIVIV,IW"IW/IWIX IXIXIXIXIXIXIX*IX0IXNIXIXIXIXIXIXIXI YIYIYIY IY ```j?j?00$sty0hsessi o contact and moving on.
:confused: HUH?
vaiolust
05-16-2005, 01:04 AM
lol good, cause i thought i was going a bit crazy there for a min. that or my computer.. lol bloody code! maybe he is with NASA? or.. just insane.. the line between to two are surprisingly thin hehe j/k :rolleyes:
AlexCrystal
05-16-2005, 10:00 PM
Actually, you have to buy that booked called
"DECODING STUFF OFF A FORUM"
I think you can go under "guy with problem" and be able to decode it. There are several headings...you just have to make sure you pick the right one.
HEE HEE...JK
Howard
05-17-2005, 08:51 PM
Actually, you have to buy that booked called
"DECODING STUFF OFF A FORUM"
I think you can go under "guy with problem" and be able to decode it. There are several headings...you just have to make sure you pick the right one.
HEE HEE...JK
Are you sure it's the right book? :D
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