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View Full Version : I'm madly in love but don't know if it's working


Scoobygirl
07-18-2010, 07:05 PM
Sorry but this is going to be a long post.

I have an 18 month old daughter and the man I am seeing has two little boys. We have been seriously involved for quite a while now and intend to move in together on September.

I'm so very much in love with him and he says he is with me. My little girl calls him Daddy and I get on great with his boys. Everything should be perfect except that when we row he just walks out and doesn't return messages or phone calls. He doesn't contact me at all and the only way I am able to make contact is to turn up at his house unannounced. The thing is when we finally talk we usually resolve the issue within half an hour.

The problem is I just can't deal with the uncertainty of him just walking out when it suits him to. I feel like he punishes me when we have a disagreement. He is aware how much it hurts me and how I struggle to cope with it.

I have been in a very abusive relationship in the past and I can't deal with things the way they are. I have told him I can't cope with him doing it, and he say's it's my fault he does it, but that he won't do it again. But he always does.

I love him with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with him and everything else is perfect except for this. I don't know what to do. :(

Bacioni
07-28-2010, 06:21 AM
If he really does love you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you like you want to with him, he will change. Ask him what's going to happen when you are living together and have an argument....will he leave you, his boys, and your daughter behind and resolve things once you go on an expedition to find where he is hiding?

If you really do not want to live with that, he needs an ultimatum - the abandonment post argument stops or it's over. It's one thing to go blow off steam, but not to disappear and ignore your calls and messages. When you tell him this, remind him how easily you both solve things and therefore what he does is not only immature, but not necessary.

I hope it all works out.