his friends are ignoring him, because of me

[heissoperfect]

hi everyone

me and my boyfriend have been with each other 8 months now... we used to spend alot of time going out with his two close friends so he could see me and them at the same time.
well recently, i haven't wanted to be around his two close friends as much, they always bring up the subject of my boyfriend being with other girls and people they think are 'fit' and i just don't want to be around all that guy talk. so anyway, i've said to my boyfriend, that i'll see him one day and he can see his mates another day.
we'll recently he has spent alot more time having a night in with me than seeing his mates, this is probably because of the fact he doesn't have a car at the moment so finds it hard to get to his friends house and doesnt like relying on lifts.
and because he hasn't been going out as much, his two best friends are either ignoring him or not asking him to come out anymore.
i can understand they probably feel he's chosen me over them, but one of them has a girfriend too and he sees her almost everynight. and also my boyfriend has asked if they want to hang out but they dont want to anymore.
i can tell its really upsetting my boyfriend and i dont want it to interfer with our relationship.......
another this is that it's my boyfriend's birthday in a week and im worried his friends wont want to see him....
any advise on this situation??

thank you x

[eightball61]

You stood your ground the right way because thats not stuff you need to here. His friends probably caught on but now keeping him out. He may be feeling down because he misses the interaction but at the same time he wants you around. Tough position but sounds like a good guy. Guys will be guys around eachother. they mean no harm but its disrespectful. Talk to him about it and and try to make him feel comfortable. he needs someone and a bestfriend.

[PrincessB]

Would you feel comfortable calling the friends and talking to them? If not, you may call them and invite them to a surprise gathering in honor of your bf's birthday. You have done all you can do and should not feel guilt over the treatment from his friends because you've done the right thing, and all you can do is move on and be supportive. Be supportive by not bringing up the subject and encouraging him to continue contact with his friends.

[Bacioni]

While it is good to hang with each others' friends, it should not be an all the time occurrence as alone time is needed as well. I am glad you put your foot down on that one.

If his friends don't want to be around him anymore over the fact that he has been spending time alone with you, then they are not only extremely immature, but not at all friends.

What is going on is not at all your fault. PrincessB has a really good suggestion regarding his birthday. If they refuse to show up for that or even ignore the invitation, then it is really pointless for your boyfriend to further associate with them - he deserves better friends.

[Kirstylou]

Surely his friend who has a girlfriend should be able to see why he sees you alot. Its just the way relationships go. people will just have to deal with the fact that you two are a COUPLE which means you do alot if things together! And if you do all end up hangin out and his friends bring up how "fit" a girl is, agree, this will shock them. Voice your opinion, just like you did!
x

[heissoperfect]

hi every one

thank you for your replys.....
well his friends did show up for his birthday after all, and now everything is kind of back to normal..... although, he hasn't been seeing them as much as he used to. usually he would see his friends 3-4 times a week now days its about 1-2 times...
ever since my boyfriend has seen less of his friends, me and him are getting on much better.... i don't know why this is,....... the only arguments we have is when he wants me to come out with him and his friends and i say no... he doesnt understand why i wouldnt just do it for him, i dont think he realises how unconfortable it is for me.... especially when they bring up stuff about my boyfriends past girlfriends or whatever...... another thing is that one of my boyfriends friends is a girl... she is my sort of my friend also but she flirts with my boyfriend all the time!! even when im there!!

i just dont like being around it :S



alice xx

[eightball61]

does she really flirt or it just seems that way to you? think hard on that one.