Am I just a ?!

[yummum]

Hiya this is a bit of a strange 1!
Me and my partner have been together for 2 years. We have a beautiful son together who is 1 year old. We live together and although things have moved very fast we love each other very much.
Ok...so heres the problem. (Can i just say that I DO love him very much!) He really irritates me, to the point where am I quite nasty to him on a daily basis. We spend quite a lot of time together but at the same time spend time apart. I say horrible things to him, I critisise him on everything he does, even if he does things in my best interest. Ive always been irritable, I was this way with my parents! Im so scared im pushing him away but at the same time I cant help it! When I lay in bed at night, i think of how cruel i have been to him during the day and try to make a promise to myself that i will try my best to lay off him a bit the next day but it just keeps going! We have our good times though, but i ruin it all the time! He treats me like a princess......maybe im just a spoilt brat! Any advice im given will be well recieved and you can just be honest and say im a total too! lol.
p.s i did have post natal depression but this (i think) has passed and i am no longer on medication.
Thanks in advance
Yummum x

[Honest Adam]

You should send this post to him...then seek help, otherwise you will push everyone in your life away.
Good Luck,
Adam

[CBRER]

Hi,

Well let's see...

You've acknowledged the problem in a public forum, you've at least tacitly accepted blame. Do you have an action plan to change and improve your life, and the way you deal with the world?

If not, you're just a

Bye

[eightball61]

lets start from the begining...why were you this way to you parents?

[jimbms]

Ok I feel I need to answer this one fully.
It seems to me your are like we was many years ago, and he is being submissive to you, may I suggest you look up about female led relationships, ignore the ones that go on to say you should make him dress up etc. But to help here is how we work to show you there can be an actual possitive.
Myself and she who must be obeyed (that’s a big clue for you) got together 28 years ago and even though we both had jobs that had us in charge it soon became pretty clear who the dominant partner was. A year later we got married into what was a female led marriage, she took the promise to obey part out and I had it put in. Many will say it is a Dominant/submissive relationship, so be it, in all these years we have remained faithful and loving to each other and not felt the need to do the making me dress in her stuff or her going out to get lovers thing, being the submissive partner does not mean you have to have no balls, in fact quite the opposite.
I feel that some people wrongfully classify subversive men as weak men. Somewhere along the line, they have been wrongly told that submission in a man is weak. It is my opinion that we are the strongest of men.
As a truly submissive man I am a protector, a servant, a planner, as well as a graceful reflection of my Dominant Partner. I am conscious that my appearance is reflection of her and therefore endeavour myself to always be well put together. I am a silent reflection of her strength and a supporter of her dreams and goals. .
As a submissive man I act with dignity, in fact I act with the dignity of the best butler…anticipating her needs because I know her. I know she drinks a cup of tea before bed and strive to have it waiting for her when she retires. I know after a long day she will need a foot rub and at weekend a massage so I have learned to do these. I know after a bad day she want to have someone to moan and complain to without having an opinion or interruption, so I do that. I will always take her word as law and never question it and will always do as she asks.
I strive to posses the best of manners, and what I mean by this goes way deeper than what the general society believes. I go shopping with her and carry her bags, I always open the door for her, I pull out her chair every time, no matter the location. I stand when she leaves the dinner table, even when we are alone. I realise that my manners are a reflection of my deep gratitude for her.
As a submissive man I am a gentleman first. I am honourable. I don’t act out in order to seek what might be an enjoyable ual favour or punishment. In fact, a punishment is never enjoyable; it’s a failing to please my Mistress. And it’s never fun.
The fun comes not only from the deep service I provide, but also when I am alone with my Mistress and a scene evolves. She knows me well and because I am indispensible to her, she will make every fantasy I have come true. When I am ill she cares for me deeply she forbids me to do a thing, it is at those moment I know how much she appreciates me.
She values me tremendously. I am not less than her, but an extension of her. I am invaluable because even though I am submissive to her, I am not submissive to everyone. I serve her and only her (mind you we have had a little fun in that with some of her female friends occasionally as she has a little bi tendency which I am happy to indulge her with), and in that service comes a sense of joy and purpose. It also defines me as a man, a strong man, a submissive man.

Anyway that is my opinion as a Manxman, maybe you lot across the pond have a more primitive chest thumping attitude but this has worked for almost 30 years for us so that alone says something.

[Kirstylou]

I can be just the same, and sometimes i think its because your partner is so good and nice and helpful! you say he treats you like a princess (which is fabulous!!) So maybe approach him and make him aware that you know you are this way and ask him to try and back off abit, if he is slightly different towards you you may think "oh, i dont like this" and realise how much you appreciate the way he is around you!
hope this makes sense :D

[Doctor B]

I would ask yourself what role you're playing when you get irritated with him, and what role you think he may be playing. When he annoys you, is he playing the HERO and solving your problems, rescuing you, saving your day? Are you playing the VILLAIN and being critical, y, and mean?

This sounds like I'm judging, but I'm really not. The roles are like this sometimes. What is it about him, or his actions, that irritates you so much?

Wait - tell me a story of what it looks like when you're not irritated, and it's wonderful. That will help better understand what works, and illustrate what doesn't.

Shoot me a PM or e-mail (addy is in my profile), and I'll give you an exercise that could help get you back to where you'd like to be - or at least get a handle on what's irritating you so much.

Peace, Love, and a million successes to you,

Doctor B

[Rich]

If you were nasty to your parents, then the nastiness with your husband is from post partum depression.

Maybe it's just who you are and that's a shame. Your nastiness probably comes as defence mechanism and your insecurities. Your nastiness builds a wall to protect you from letting go and exposing your heart.

The way you act is not in a loving way and it should stop.

Nasty words are like a hammer driving a nail through a piece of wood. You can aopolgize (and it doesn't even sound like you do that) and remove the nail, but a hole remains. After awhile all that you have is a relationship filled with holes that weakens it and it will colapse.

If you know it's wrong, then change it. I think that it's horse sh*t when peopel say that's who I am and I can't change. You can change if you really wanted to.

You're a .

Your choice if you want to continue going through life like that.

[Rich]

Isn't from post partum. Wish they had an edit mode on this forum.