Does Truly Hold a Relationship/Marriage Together?

[eightball61]

I asked this question in another post and I though it would be appropriate to start a new thread. The question here is "Do you believe that is everything to holding the success in a relationship"?

My personal belief is that does play an important role but it’s not the "perfect" formula to make a relationship work. There are many barriers that make success to a relationship and I believe is one of the barriers and not the whole cause.


Any Thoughts?

[bdtraders]

I think its important becuase if the is not compatible for each partner they might stray to "improve" their life. I think the most important thing is communication.

[inquisitive]

No I don't. You don't love someone because you have with them. You love them for who they are, how they make you feel etc. You never know what life is going to hold. Unexpected things happen everyday. Just look in the papers. Eg. mother/wife gets shot and is paralyzed for life, obviously can't have . What if you or your spouse can never have again? Would you leave them? If you would, then you don't really love them.

[Rich]

, passion and intimacy are all important ingredients to making a relationship work and last.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, it takes more than just a few things to make a relationship work and be happy.

To look at it from another angle and I think Alex touched upon this, it's human nature.

If it's human nature to procreate AND IT IS, then that means having . If it's innate in all of us to procreate and that feeling doesn't really go away, then we will always have the inner desire to have .

Irgo, if we're all going to have that inner desire for the rest of our lives to have and we aren't getting any in a relationship, do you not think that most folks will look to quench that desire elsewhere? Hell yeah. It's human nature.

Look at all these old guys in their 80's that go after young girls and still want to have . The desire doesn't go away. It just doesn't!!!!!!!!!!

I can't speak for women and what they feel inside, but take this advice for how you want to take it.

If you're in a relationship and you're not having with your BF, Fiance or husband.....don't be shocked beyond all belief that they went elsewhere to quench that inner desire. Masturbating only lasts so long.

[eightball61]

No I don't. You don't love someone because you have with them. You love them for who they are, how they make you feel etc. You never know what life is going to hold. Unexpected things happen everyday. Just look in the papers. Eg. mother/wife gets shot and is paralyzed for life, obviously can't have . What if you or your spouse can never have again? Would you leave them? If you would, then you don't really love them.

inquisitive, where were you when I was single???

I am kidding

I do agree with your thoughts. I respect those that will view different because we all have different thoughts. does bring closeness and love together but a couple needs to have more such(as bdtraders pointed out) as communication, physical touch, and emotional feelings.

This is great and thanks for sharing you three.

[inquisitive]

, passion and intimacy are all important ingredients to making a relationship work and last.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, it takes more than just a few things to make a relationship work and be happy.

To look at it from another angle and I think Alex touched upon this, it's human nature.

If it's human nature to procreate AND IT IS, then that means having . If it's innate in all of us to procreate and that feeling doesn't really go away, then we will always have the inner desire to have .

Irgo, if we're all going to have that inner desire for the rest of our lives to have and we aren't getting any in a relationship, do you not think that most folks will look to quench that desire elsewhere? Hell yeah. It's human nature.

Look at all these old guys in their 80's that go after young girls and still want to have . The desire doesn't go away. It just doesn't!!!!!!!!!!

I can't speak for women and what they feel inside, but take this advice for how you want to take it.

If you're in a relationship and you're not having with your BF, Fiance or husband.....don't be shocked beyond all belief that they went elsewhere to quench that inner desire. Masturbating only lasts so long.

I agree with you in an ideal world, but shouldn't be what is keeping a relationship together. What would you do if for any unforseen reason all of a sudden your wife was physically unable to have . Just leave her? Go out and cheat on her? That's not love in my opinion.

[eightball61]

If you're in a relationship and you're not having with your BF, Fiance or husband.....don't be shocked beyond all belief that they went elsewhere to quench that inner desire. Masturbating only lasts so long.


I truly see your point, Rich. I am turning things just a tad here but if there was a medical condition involved then it just wouldn't be right. Its not the other partners fault because they can't do to a medical condition. Also we all have different hormone passes and some people are hornier than others. If a couple is having a few times a week or even a month then I see no reason to go to another person. ...its my view and opinion.

If really mattered that much then it would be best to brake it off rather than cheating. as I stated is just a fraction to the formula that puts love together.

[bdtraders]

Yea inquisitve is right on the money about if you LOVE someone and they get hurt would you leave them if they couldnt have with them, No i woulnt becaue tome, to love someone is to have with them. But if both partners are able to have and they arnt compatible then i dont bleive they are really in love, because if you are trully in love with your So then when you do have , even if it bad , if you are still in love with that person the closness you experience will make you feel like its the best you ever had.

[Rich]

I agree that shouldn't hold a relationship together. I'm just saying that we have this innate desire to procreate (have ).

Some people are stronger than others at controling that desire. Hence my comment in a previous post today about weak minded individuals. They most often succumb to their desires and cheat.

No I would not leave my wife. I would stay and pleasure myself to relieve my stress.

[eightball61]

No I would not leave my wife. I would stay and pleasure myself to relieve my stress.


Amen...I would the same....To me that shows real love and respect. Rich, you have class and I respect a man of you honor ;)

[inquisitive]

Yea inquisitve is right on the money about if you LOVE someone and they get hurt would you leave them if they couldnt have with them, No i woulnt becaue tome, to love someone is to have with them. But if both partners are able to have and they arnt compatible then i dont bleive they are really in love, because if you are trully in love with your So then when you do have , even if it bad , if you are still in love with that person the closness you experience will make you feel like its the best you ever had.

That's what I was trying to say :)

[SALly]

I have no idea about anything in regard to relationships, or anymore. I don't understand why I always feel so differently about issues than everyone else. Am I that much of a freak? I just don't understand.

[eightball61]

Welcome to the freaks' club then because I beem a member since I was born.

[SALly]

BTW -I dont' disagree about this subject. If my SO couldn't have , I wouldn't leave.
You know- my cheating never was about the , it was about feeling wanted and feeling all those things I hadn't felt for so long. No better, I know.

[eightball61]

my cheating never was about the , it was about feeling wanted and feeling all those things I hadn't felt for so long. No better, I know.


Exactly goes bring in a lot of characteristics and those characteristics you were missing in you marriage. in reality is just part of the fraction that make love because its all a combination of feeling wanted, emotional feelings, and physical.

[Rich]

Sally, no offense to you and please don't take this the wrong way as I mean no disrespect.

It's also human nature to want to feel love, intimacy, wanted and appreciated by someone close to us.

You have that desire inside of you and right now your logical head is fighting your inner heart and winning.

I suspect though, that over time your heart is going to win out and you're going to finally make that decision to leave your marriage and find the love that your heart is desiring.

You're fighting a lot of confusion right now in regards to what you want and what's best for your kid(s). Sorry, not sure if you have more than one child or not.

You sound like a loving type of person and in your heart you know that the marriage that you're in right now isn't the way that a marriage is supposed to be. That your heart isn't being loved the way that it should be or the way that you truly want it to be.

Right now your quenching urges with your indescretions. That's like plugging holes in a bad water pipe as leaks occur. At some point you'll address the hole pipe because it's ultimately the right thing to do.

It's understandable as to your confusion.

[SALly]

I'm not offended, not at all.
I disagree though.

[Rich]

Time will tell. :)

[SALly]

I agree. :)

[Rich]

Sally, quick question.

You mentioned that your cheating was more about feeling wanted and loved, more than just for .

Is that a true statement?

If so, are you just looking to get those feelings met on a short term basis, or on a long term basis?

I would summize that with wanting to remain married that you're only looking to have those feelings met on a sort term basis as you have NO chance of having them met on a long term basis.

Is this true?

[SALly]

Not sure what you mean. Yes I feel that is true, about feeling wanted and loved.
I was drunk off my ass and met a guy and hooked up. I didnt' even know him ahead of time. but after this happened and we talked, we continued to see each other for a little while. the feelings I had were so strong. I would think aobut him constantly and that fresh new love that I hadn't felt for years. Before the cheating I never really thought I had any problem with my marriage. But after I felt these feelings I thought "this" is how I should feel, and I starting hating my hubby. that's about it.

[Rich]

And if you didn't have any children, would you have left your marriage already?

[SALly]

Dammit.....probably!!!

[Diablo]

Not sure what to say Sally. It sounds like you're in a loveless marriage; damn. As for the subject of this thread, a successful relationship involves a lot more than just . But even among couples who do everything right during the courtship, marriage usually changes everything. They think they own you, take you for granted. They don't put any effort into the relationship anymore. It's not the same as it was before the wedding. During the courtship, the guy's trying to win the prize; after the marriage, the prize just kind of sits on the shelf collecting dust after a while. Okay that usually doesn't set in right away, but over time it often does and that kills a lot of marriages.

[vaiolust]

I do not think it is the most important thing, but i do think its well within the top 5, to me, i think communitcation and understanding are the most important.. i think there are always ups and downs, but i also think that if you are in a good relationship the is good.. with my love desiree, no matter what she did, it would be perfect for me, because i am not only ually with her, i am mentally.. so she could not do something bad in bed.. there would be nothing that wouldnt satisfy me more than a world of girls could do.. so i think they go hand in hand..

[eightball61]

no matter what she did, it would be perfect for me, because i am not only ually with her, i am mentally.. so she could not do something bad in bed.. .


I love your thoughts here in this quote. It is so true that it doesn't matter about how she is in bed or even how you feel about her ually she will always be there mentally.


Welcome to the boards vaiolust :)

[vaiolust]

Thank you :) i am glad to be here, seems quite supportive, and i like to help when i can, no one is strong enough to keep it all in.. which i am slowly learning lol.. thank you though, i feel very welcomed, you all seem so nice too!