Momto2
07-28-2010, 07:31 AM
I have been married for 10 years now to my husband and we have had are ups and downs, he is the love of my life, but lately things have been falling apart. The man he was just a few short months ago is not the man he is now, and unfortunately there is no communicating with him, he just completely shuts himself off and I feel very alone. It seems like we have several issues going on at once but he refuses to speak to me about them and only makes rude comments instead when I try to talk to him, I feel completetly disrespected. I feel like part of the issue is his friends, lately they seem to consume a majority of his time, I have tried to be extremely patient about this as I am left holding the bag of dealing with our home and two kids while he is having a jolly time with his friends, I have tried to explain to him that when he has a large amount of contact with his friends he becomes this other person, its like Dr Jekly and Mr Hide. For instance just the other day, he was working in the yard and he came inside to get me because there was a census taker outside, so I went outside on the porch to speak to the gentleman, my husband started weed whacking and I couldn't hear a thing the gentleman was saying, I called out to my husband several times but he just ignored me and continued weed whacking. When I was done with the census taker and he came in I told him that that was very rude I couldn't hear what the gentleman was saying and he snapped back at me saying the yard work needs to get done and he was going to finish it regardless of who that guy was. Come to find out the reason he was so insistent on getting the yard work done was because his friends were coming over and he told me "he wanted to impress them" so I felt like he was saying it was more important to impress his friends than be respectful of me. Then I found out that his other friends girlfriend keeps texting him, this has been going on for months and I have told him how I find this completely disrespectful of our marriage, she has no reason to be texting him and as far as I know she barely knows him, we have gone through this five times and we discussed it and he agreed to just ignore it until it stopped, but I found out she texted him a few days ago and he responded, I was really upset and felt betrayed by him, his excuse was that he didn't want her or his friend to think he was crazy by ignoring them, so again he basically said he cared more about what his friends think than I do. Several weeks ago my husbands mother had called him and at the end of the month she is being kicked out, but she went and got her daughter from another state and moved her and her two kids in with her, my husband and I discussed it and decided if they really had no place to go they could stay with us temporarily, well in the last week my husbands mother has annoyed him to the point that he doesn't want her to move in, but he is telling his sister that her and her children can come stay here, I don't feel as comfortable with this as I feel having his mother come to she would be a babysitter for his sister, while his sister is a grown adult she has a history of stealing, from family members and even has a record for stealing from a prior employer, my husband sleeps during the day and I work and I feel that my home would not be safe with her having access to all of our personal possesions. She also asked if she could move in some guy she just started dating who has no job, thankfully my husband said no but she hangs around with some pretty shady characters the father of her children is a convicted child molestor and I am really wary to have this kind of drama in my home with my two small children without a "sitter" for her. I tried to talk to my husband about all of this and he just got angry and began to become disrespectful telling me "yes master, I will just banish all of my friends and family" basically saying I think I own him, but this is not what I am asking of him, I am just asking him to talk to me and consider my feelings. I just want him to communicate with me, am I doing something wrong, I am considering moving out if this doesn't change, I don't even know who he is anymore???