Opinion needed here..

[zanshin2005]

Hey,

I just thought I post one of my dillemas(well not really) but its been on my mind for a while. :p

Ok, so in December, lol... I got an IM from this girl. Just a random thing, and I was like cool. Someone new to chat with. Anyways, I started talking to her, and never thought I would meet her. She said she saw my profile, liked it and said hello.(Im not one to usually meet people online, however) Anyways, we started chatting and having a good time talking to eachother. We had a lot in common, and I started to like this girl. Eventually, she showed me a picture of herself, and I was like.. "wow.. are u ever familiar.. hmmm".. anyways, long story short, we figured out that we both worked next door to eachother in a local mall for like 2-3 years. We were both like :eek: So it turns out we met eachother, but never realised it. :o

Anyways, when I first met her(at the mall), I remember that I had this huge crush on her, but one of my co-workers said that she had a boyfriend. So i kinda gave up on the idea. Eventually she moved home for a year, and I kinda forgot about it. Then she came back, and I was like cool. We talked every now and then, not too much, but the odd small talk.

Anyways, she told me online that she just broke up with her long term boyfriend of a long time. (quite a long time) So therefore, I felt that asking her out wouldnt be a good thing, as we all need some time to heal whatever wounds we have before moving on.

However, she admitted to me that she always thought that I was good looking, and she was starting to like me even more as we talked. I told her that I liked her, and altough eventually would like to go out with her, I said we should take it slow. And she agreed, cuz apparently, she eventually wanted to be with me too. Eventually, we were just hanging out, watching movies, and we cuddled, nothing more than that.

Anyways, I kinda saw this was going to happen, and she said that she felt things were going too fast, and I agreed. I said that we should just take a break from eachother, and work our things out, and if come back to eachother, then we would talk about it then, but I said I would always be her friend regardless. And so we did. For over a month, we didnt really talk to eachother, but eventually I signed on to MSN, and almost immediately got a message from her. WE talked, and I realised, that even in a just a month a part, I really missed her. And apparently she did too.

However, she admitted that she still wasnt ready for a serious relationship, and I understood and said that we could always be friends. And I still realised that I liked her alot, but realised that it wasnt the time to act on these things.

We started hanging out again, and watched some movies, went for a few walks, and went to a show together. She also told me not to wait, and if there was other opportunities(with other girls) that I should check em out. Much to my suprise, I met this other girl on a pubcrawl, and we hung out a little bit and she admitted that she was jealous. I kinda had to chuckle a bit on that.

She told me that I gave her butterflies when we hang out and talk. And I told her that she did the same (That is the truth). She said that she found it very easy to trust me, and I with her. I value and respect her as a person and a friend. But we both agreed that we arent ready for something serious.

But I cant help but think about her alot. To me she is one of the most beautiful girls in the world, and with a personality to match. I would love to be with her one day. But I think with the current circumstances, its a long shot to happen.

So my question is, do u think I should just let it go and forget about it? Or should I just be patient and see what can happen?

Any advice would be appreciated. thanks :)

[eightball61]

So my question is, do u think I should just let it go and forget about it? Or should I just be patient and see what can happen?


If I was in your position then I would keep to the same game plan that you both agreed to. You both are just being really good friends with an opportunity to grow. Life is about taking chances because anything can happen. You will need to choose which chance to take because you can't have both.

Personally, I see nother wrong if you continue to be a friend & try to win her heart while you also leave the opportunity for someone else to walk in your life. The only thing you don't want to do is make a game out of this. I doubt you'll do that because you seem more respectful than that but I did want to make it known.


Goodluck :)

[Rich]

Just take it slow and let your faith and love in each other build up over time.

Don't force anything and don't stay away from each other.

Just know that there isn't some magic relationship pill for you both to take to make this work between you. At the end of the day it's still you two that will either make this work or not.

Have fun and enjoy each other. There's no harm in that.

[Diablo]

I'm not sure which woman you want here, but girl 1 has said she's not ready and you should date another girl if you get a chance to. Girl 2 seems to be up for a go around, so go for it.

[CalistaClap]

Can I ask how long it's been since her and her ex brokeup?

I think that you should continue how you are. When she is ready she will let you know. Until that happens, you are still free to explore the single world.

She seems to be trying to do the right thing, and not string you along, and not rushing anything as well.

[SALly]

I agree with the other posts. Go ahead and do what you are doing. Take is slow and be her friend.

[zanshin2005]

Hey guys,

Just wanted to thank you all for your input. It was very well appreciated.

Things are going good so far. We are hanging out and having a lot of fun :) (as well as the odd cuddle). To answer, CallistaClaps question, its been almost a year since she broke up with her ex. Im not pressuring her, but I am making it known that I always enjoy her presence, and telling her the good things that I think about her. She seems to respond well to that. :)

I'll continue to do what I am doing, and respect the time that she needs, and the fact that being her friend is very important to her as well. If anything develops beyond this, it will. If not, it wont. I'll always be her friend regardless. And i'll always keep my options open in the mean time.

Thanks again guys!
:cool:

[eightball61]

I am pleased to hear that things have been going great for the both of you. I do hope this continues and maybe you both can grow into that relationship that you are looking for. Keep up being the good friend that you are and thats all she can ask for.

Thanks for that update. :)