MizDemi
08-02-2010, 01:46 PM
Here is my situation…..
I met my boyfriend on June 7, 2009. We were at our graduation ceremony receiving our Bachelor degrees. I was looking for a seat in the bleachers. I saw an empty seat and I asked if it was taken and he said no and I sat down. We congratulated each other on graduating. We said a few words to each other while we were waiting to be seated on the arena floor. Finally, they were ready for us and we were ed down to the auditorium floor to be seated for the ceremony. We walked together, I felt because we wanted to sit together and continue chatting. He seemed like a nice person. It was actually cute the fact we were trying to sit together. Anyhow, we were seated in our respective seats and we continued to chat before the ceremony started. He was really easy to talk to. It was as though I had known him forever.
We got through the ceremony and we walked out together. We said our goodbyes and he gave me a hug. I went off to meet my family and he went off to meet his family. My plans were to go and eat with my family. He was doing the same with his family. Anyhow, I continued to think about him as I left. I couldn’t get him off my mind. Sounds crazy, I know. It was a feeling that is hard to describe.
Anyhow, 4 days later on June 11th, I started thinking about how could I get in touch with him. I had his name, but that was it. It came to me that I could try our University email directory. I hit the jackpot. I typed in his name and it popped up immediately. I was thrilled. I sent him an email. I did not know what I was going to say, but I was compelled to find him. I wasn’t sure he would even get the email, but I sent it anyhow.
Here is the email I sent him. Me referring to him as Dr. is an inside joke.
Hello Dr. Coasey,
It is the person whom you sat next to at graduation. Yes, its me (LOL)! How are you? I pray my email finds you doing well and in good spirits. I was thinking of you and I said it would be nice to drop you an email. I was able to locate your email through UOPhx email directory. I am doing great just trying to let my head unwind from the last 4 years (LOL). I am currently in Detroit making my way back home this afternoon so I get ready for game # 4 tonight. I look forward to hearing from you.
Take Care, be blessed & have a great day!!!!!
Two days later June 13th (my birthday) he responded. I was thrilled!! He said he couldn’t stop thinking about me, as well. He was very shocked, and said he almost fell out of chair when he saw my email. He explained to me that normally he NEVER checked his university email account, but he did that day. Wow……that was the beginning of our communication. He also said he wasn’t smart enough to think of the university email directory, as I did, but he was glad I did.
From that moment on, we emailed each other and exchanged phone numbers. He then revealed to me that he was married and had 4 children. I thought………oh boy! I was feeling something for a man I knew nothing about. Trust me when I say I am not one for taking up with a married man. The fact that he had 4 children was a whopper. I have one and she is 20yrs old.
We continued communicating. At this point we were having a very emotional relationship. There was NO involved. We met once or twice for lunch, but that was it, and besides I was a Flight Attendant and was gone a lot. Anyhow, at a certain point, my boyfriend made a final decision to leave. There were several times throughout his marriage that he thought about leaving. He knew he was unhappy, but he continued to stay like many people do, and of course, he was thinking about his children. His wife knew the marriage was over, but they were still holding on. So, she told him one day to go.
He found an apartment in July 2009 and moved out. He and I continued to talk and see each other whenever I was in town. It was a trying situation, but we cared for each other. According to his friends and co-workers he came alive after meeting me. He was so happy and so was I. I didn’t quite know how things were going to pan out, but we choose to continue on and weather the storm. Let’s fast forward……he files for divorce 4 months later (Oct ’09), I move in with him in Nov ‘09, and then 2 months after moving in I had to make a decision to leave my job as a Flight Attendant because my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was traveling so much and she was starting her treatment plan, and I needed to be with her and she wasn’t understanding everything that was happening. We did not know what to expect. I did what I had to do. We all continued with our lives and things were CRAZY, but we loved each other so very much. We kept telling each other that all the craziness was going to pass. My boyfriend thought he was going to be divorced within 30 days. I told him, not in a million years. It takes much longer. You have 4 children and 17 yrs. He was under the impression it didn’t take long. BTW….. he was doing the divorce himself, without a lawyer. Anyhow, finally after 2 months of not hearing anything or receiving a letter, he gets one and it says his hearing is scheduled for March 19th, 2010. At the time, we are at the end of November 2009. He almost freaked out. He told me, “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave.” Of course, I hadn’t thought about leaving. I knew in my mind it was going to take some time. We continued on with our lives and I was helping my mother, going to school for my Masters, helping my boyfriend run his vending machine business and just keeping busy in general. I had plenty to do.
But, in the back of my mind, I was thinking once my mom was finished with chemo, surgery and radiation, I would be able to get back to work, and continue on with my life. It has not turned out that way. As we all know, the jobs are slim out here, and I have yet to find a job of any kind. My boyfriend has kept us afloat all this time, but what hurt us is when he needed car repairs totally 3000.00. He took this from his savings. Little by little things kept happening where he had to pull from his savings, and now his savings is gone. He said he can’t live like this (pay check to pay check). He said he did this in his twenties. He is older and has kids to think about. He is frustrated and has not been in this type of situation for a long time. Through it all he has continued to treat me like a queen. We are now officially out of me. I apologize if I jump around. He did get divorced in March, by the way.
We actually broke up on April 5th for 10 days. It felt like my heart was being ripped out. He ended up moving back to the family home he shared with his ex, and he was going to let our apartment go. He had not moved out of the apartment completely, he just took his clothes. He was going to try and make it work with his ex. I was devastated. He says it was crazy when he went back. He felt so out of place there and the house was just as he left it a shambles, along with the yard. People drive by and know a man does not live there. His son is reponsible for cutting the grass, but the lawnmovers are being broken and when they do work it still isn't being cut because he is not made to do it. This is something I do not understand, but that is a story for another day.
Here it comes the whopper…………….. one night he was at the house with her and she asked him for . He obliged he says........because she asked (yeah, right!). The next morning he regretted it. He says he realized he panicked (money situation) and made a huge mistake. We talked and decided to come back together after 10 days. At this point, I do not know about them sleeping together. We get back to our apartment the night of April 15th. We sit down and talk about what transpired. I then felt compelled to ask him did anything happen. He says, you don’t want to know. I went ballistic. He says, he knows he was wrong, BUT WE WERE BROKEN UP. I ripped him up and down, but it still doesn’t change what happened. I told him I couldn’t get over the fact of it being so soon. He says he was trying to get over me, but realized it wasn’t working. The whole 10 days he was there the ex knew he was thinking about me. She told him don’t be here just to save money. You need to be here because you want to be. This is when he decided it wasn’t right. Of course, I am not used to being cheated on. I don’t care if we were not together. It is cheating in my book. It was too soon. I could never have with a man like that. My heart would not be in. It’s nasty!!!! I have forgiven him, but it is not forgotten. I told him this kind of crap is not tolerated. I will not be disrespected. I love him, but I am no ones doormat.
It is now August 2nd, and our love story is unraveling. I am still looking for work. Our relationship is strained because of our finances. So, I am feeling like a failure and am subject to him saying he’s leaving. We still love each other. He tells me he is still the luckiest man on the earth. I am everything he wants and I have really helped him to make him a better man. In my eyes, he’s the epitome of a good man minus his indiscretion. Your thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated. I know many of us are feeling the heat because of the unemployment issue. I guess I didn’t realize the lack of money can be the demise of a relationship. I guess I am naïve about love not paying the bills. Your thoughts and comments would be greatly appreciated.
I met my boyfriend on June 7, 2009. We were at our graduation ceremony receiving our Bachelor degrees. I was looking for a seat in the bleachers. I saw an empty seat and I asked if it was taken and he said no and I sat down. We congratulated each other on graduating. We said a few words to each other while we were waiting to be seated on the arena floor. Finally, they were ready for us and we were ed down to the auditorium floor to be seated for the ceremony. We walked together, I felt because we wanted to sit together and continue chatting. He seemed like a nice person. It was actually cute the fact we were trying to sit together. Anyhow, we were seated in our respective seats and we continued to chat before the ceremony started. He was really easy to talk to. It was as though I had known him forever.
We got through the ceremony and we walked out together. We said our goodbyes and he gave me a hug. I went off to meet my family and he went off to meet his family. My plans were to go and eat with my family. He was doing the same with his family. Anyhow, I continued to think about him as I left. I couldn’t get him off my mind. Sounds crazy, I know. It was a feeling that is hard to describe.
Anyhow, 4 days later on June 11th, I started thinking about how could I get in touch with him. I had his name, but that was it. It came to me that I could try our University email directory. I hit the jackpot. I typed in his name and it popped up immediately. I was thrilled. I sent him an email. I did not know what I was going to say, but I was compelled to find him. I wasn’t sure he would even get the email, but I sent it anyhow.
Here is the email I sent him. Me referring to him as Dr. is an inside joke.
Hello Dr. Coasey,
It is the person whom you sat next to at graduation. Yes, its me (LOL)! How are you? I pray my email finds you doing well and in good spirits. I was thinking of you and I said it would be nice to drop you an email. I was able to locate your email through UOPhx email directory. I am doing great just trying to let my head unwind from the last 4 years (LOL). I am currently in Detroit making my way back home this afternoon so I get ready for game # 4 tonight. I look forward to hearing from you.
Take Care, be blessed & have a great day!!!!!
Two days later June 13th (my birthday) he responded. I was thrilled!! He said he couldn’t stop thinking about me, as well. He was very shocked, and said he almost fell out of chair when he saw my email. He explained to me that normally he NEVER checked his university email account, but he did that day. Wow……that was the beginning of our communication. He also said he wasn’t smart enough to think of the university email directory, as I did, but he was glad I did.
From that moment on, we emailed each other and exchanged phone numbers. He then revealed to me that he was married and had 4 children. I thought………oh boy! I was feeling something for a man I knew nothing about. Trust me when I say I am not one for taking up with a married man. The fact that he had 4 children was a whopper. I have one and she is 20yrs old.
We continued communicating. At this point we were having a very emotional relationship. There was NO involved. We met once or twice for lunch, but that was it, and besides I was a Flight Attendant and was gone a lot. Anyhow, at a certain point, my boyfriend made a final decision to leave. There were several times throughout his marriage that he thought about leaving. He knew he was unhappy, but he continued to stay like many people do, and of course, he was thinking about his children. His wife knew the marriage was over, but they were still holding on. So, she told him one day to go.
He found an apartment in July 2009 and moved out. He and I continued to talk and see each other whenever I was in town. It was a trying situation, but we cared for each other. According to his friends and co-workers he came alive after meeting me. He was so happy and so was I. I didn’t quite know how things were going to pan out, but we choose to continue on and weather the storm. Let’s fast forward……he files for divorce 4 months later (Oct ’09), I move in with him in Nov ‘09, and then 2 months after moving in I had to make a decision to leave my job as a Flight Attendant because my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was traveling so much and she was starting her treatment plan, and I needed to be with her and she wasn’t understanding everything that was happening. We did not know what to expect. I did what I had to do. We all continued with our lives and things were CRAZY, but we loved each other so very much. We kept telling each other that all the craziness was going to pass. My boyfriend thought he was going to be divorced within 30 days. I told him, not in a million years. It takes much longer. You have 4 children and 17 yrs. He was under the impression it didn’t take long. BTW….. he was doing the divorce himself, without a lawyer. Anyhow, finally after 2 months of not hearing anything or receiving a letter, he gets one and it says his hearing is scheduled for March 19th, 2010. At the time, we are at the end of November 2009. He almost freaked out. He told me, “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave.” Of course, I hadn’t thought about leaving. I knew in my mind it was going to take some time. We continued on with our lives and I was helping my mother, going to school for my Masters, helping my boyfriend run his vending machine business and just keeping busy in general. I had plenty to do.
But, in the back of my mind, I was thinking once my mom was finished with chemo, surgery and radiation, I would be able to get back to work, and continue on with my life. It has not turned out that way. As we all know, the jobs are slim out here, and I have yet to find a job of any kind. My boyfriend has kept us afloat all this time, but what hurt us is when he needed car repairs totally 3000.00. He took this from his savings. Little by little things kept happening where he had to pull from his savings, and now his savings is gone. He said he can’t live like this (pay check to pay check). He said he did this in his twenties. He is older and has kids to think about. He is frustrated and has not been in this type of situation for a long time. Through it all he has continued to treat me like a queen. We are now officially out of me. I apologize if I jump around. He did get divorced in March, by the way.
We actually broke up on April 5th for 10 days. It felt like my heart was being ripped out. He ended up moving back to the family home he shared with his ex, and he was going to let our apartment go. He had not moved out of the apartment completely, he just took his clothes. He was going to try and make it work with his ex. I was devastated. He says it was crazy when he went back. He felt so out of place there and the house was just as he left it a shambles, along with the yard. People drive by and know a man does not live there. His son is reponsible for cutting the grass, but the lawnmovers are being broken and when they do work it still isn't being cut because he is not made to do it. This is something I do not understand, but that is a story for another day.
Here it comes the whopper…………….. one night he was at the house with her and she asked him for . He obliged he says........because she asked (yeah, right!). The next morning he regretted it. He says he realized he panicked (money situation) and made a huge mistake. We talked and decided to come back together after 10 days. At this point, I do not know about them sleeping together. We get back to our apartment the night of April 15th. We sit down and talk about what transpired. I then felt compelled to ask him did anything happen. He says, you don’t want to know. I went ballistic. He says, he knows he was wrong, BUT WE WERE BROKEN UP. I ripped him up and down, but it still doesn’t change what happened. I told him I couldn’t get over the fact of it being so soon. He says he was trying to get over me, but realized it wasn’t working. The whole 10 days he was there the ex knew he was thinking about me. She told him don’t be here just to save money. You need to be here because you want to be. This is when he decided it wasn’t right. Of course, I am not used to being cheated on. I don’t care if we were not together. It is cheating in my book. It was too soon. I could never have with a man like that. My heart would not be in. It’s nasty!!!! I have forgiven him, but it is not forgotten. I told him this kind of crap is not tolerated. I will not be disrespected. I love him, but I am no ones doormat.
It is now August 2nd, and our love story is unraveling. I am still looking for work. Our relationship is strained because of our finances. So, I am feeling like a failure and am subject to him saying he’s leaving. We still love each other. He tells me he is still the luckiest man on the earth. I am everything he wants and I have really helped him to make him a better man. In my eyes, he’s the epitome of a good man minus his indiscretion. Your thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated. I know many of us are feeling the heat because of the unemployment issue. I guess I didn’t realize the lack of money can be the demise of a relationship. I guess I am naïve about love not paying the bills. Your thoughts and comments would be greatly appreciated.