Need some help

[jfs]

I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years now. But now we are on "break." Here is why. Over 3 1/2 years ago I had a friend. I let this girl kiss me and I did not pull back. Nothing else happened, just one regretful kiss. The thing is, I really enjoyed our friendship, so I pretended like nothing ever happened and continued to be friends. Nothing ever happened again.

About 3 months after the kiss, my girlfriend grew suspicious so I told her that my friend liked me but we never did anything. She told me to stop seeing her, so I did. Throughout the next years up to today, she would occasionally ask me if told her the truth. I would deny the kiss. About 3 months ago, I was thinking asking her to marry me. But I decided to tell her the truth about the kiss.

I did, and of course she said things like she doesn't trust me anymore, and that our relationship has been lie. She says she still loves me. Some time went by and we got engaged.

Now she wants to take break to think about wether or not we should be together. She says she accepted the ring thinking being engaged would help her forget about the lying. She knows that I love her, but she says things like I don't have passion for her, because of the lying. I love her very much, I wouldn't ask her to marry me if I didn't. So now, I am just waiting for her call to tell me whether or not she still wants to be with me. She said it could take a couple of weeks or even a couple of months, she doesn't know. Its been one week now.

I am going crazy, just waiting. I want to give her time to think, should I just wait?

[eightball61]

The wrong doing here is that you waited all this time to tell her and thats why she is mainly angry. People wll be mad when you tell the truth but when the truth is hidden and lied about it only makes matters worse for the future.

You are ready to move on but she isn't. By telling her about the kiss you basically backed the whole relationship up. She is going to need time and space to think about things. She is going to want to make sure that she doesn't marry a man that will hide things from her.

This may seem minor to you but its major to her because you went outside the relationship, hid something, and lied about it. You should have said something then......You can't fix the past though and now you will have to just deal with what you setup for.

You stated that you are going crazy because you are waiting but your gonna have to calm down because this is going to take a while. Trust is not something that takes 24 hours to gain. Your gonna have prove yourself to her again. This may have been over 3 years ago but the lieing is whats making things tough on her.