How to not be needy

[Sophie666]

Hiya people,

Ok so I've been going with this guy for 2 years now. Love him to bits.
Thing is I feel that I'm too needy, it pis$es me off, i don't want to be, I'm crazy about this boy, I like a phone call twice a day and maybe a few texts, I work, he doesn't, we don't live together, he lives an hr away. So while I'm at work he usually is out with his mates on the beer, I don't get any calls or texts, it drives me up the wall. I really wish I could just not care, but I can't help it, when i'm at work i'm bored outta my head and all I can do is think of him, so when i'm on my break i wanna talk to him, he's usally with his mates can't talk or hungover.

It's annoying though cos when we first started dating, he was the one that would ring me all the time, email me, text me and then I fell head over in heels with him, and now i feel like i'm running after him. It annoys me too that I'm the one usually with the money, but I'd wish he'd spend less of his money on the beer so that when i'm off at the weekend we could do stuff together instead of me paying for everything, meals, wine, dvd's, etc....

i work crap hours, from 12.30pm to 9pm, basically no morning or night, so when I'm off for 2 days I want to be with him and do stuff.

Like now I finished work and haven't talked to him since 4, he's obviously on the beer, he's not answering, and i'll get a text from him at like 1 or 2 saying nite nite love you x

How can I make myself try to not give a crap, have the same attitude as him, ahhhhhh

[smackie9]

How do you not give a crap? By finding your self a better BF. This dude is a lazy lush that uses you for a piece of ass. You are a fool to be with this loser. He doesn't work, he spends his day drinking, you pay for most everything if you go out and he has lost interest in you. Time to move on sister.

[Kirstylou]

I love to hear off my fella too, so know what u mean! I would have a word with him and make him getta job, explain u may wanna move in together in the futre but can't do that with no cash.

[Doctor B]

Sophie,

I think you've found yourself an addict. Now, I don't mean to the beer, but it's pat of it. He's addicted to being taken care of, and doing what he wants. If you give him a challenge, he'll inevitably fail it because he doesn't have any real consequences. You would forgive him, possibly get upset, but ultimately he wouldn't be in trouble.

If you want something, ask for it. If you try to put away your emotions, you make them wrong, and they'll bubble up again - when you least like them too.

You're not needy. You're human. I've dated needy girls, and you're not even in the middle to upper ranges on the scale. You're simply asking for the regular things a healthy relationship has.

I would speak with him and find out what he wants in the relationship. If he answers, "I don't know" it's time to move on without him. He's stalling in committing to you or growing up. Good luck.

Peace and Love,

Doctor B

[Honest Adam]

Does he know that it drives you up the wall. Is it possible that while he's grown more comfortable with you and therefore pursued you less aggressively he's just assumed that you feel the same way? when he sends you a short text to say good night do you respond the same way? He may just be oblivious. If he knows how much his behavior bothers you and doesn't change then ditch him, but make sure he's willful and not just dense.

Good Luck,
Adam

[eightball61]

Imagine married life with the guy...no job, no ambition, and rather drink with the mates. with no job where does he get his money to go out?