whisper4
05-08-2005, 09:46 PM
Ugh, i've got a feeling this may end up coming across as a typical meaningless teen relationship problem. I assure you it isn't but apologies in advance if it comes across as one.
Before I start there are some things about me that you should know. In terms of relationships i'm a pretty average guy really, average looking, average love life, average life in general really. But I have one of those personalities which gives a bad first impression. I'm pretty arrogant and I treat most things as a joke. That comes off badly to a lot of people, consequently i'm not the most popular person in the world. I can live with that and if you're wondering why I'm telling you this, it's because it should help to explain some of the stuff below.I'm not like this normally, by that I mean i'm not the kind of guy who posts about his problems on message boards. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not for me. But this is an exception....
Ok, so I go to an average sized secondary school (about 1400 people). I'm in my last year of sixth form, so it's more like college with little people running around :rolleyes: Anyway, there's a girl (we'll call her Amy, since name-changing's always fun :) ) who i'm currently "friends" with (The inverted commas will become clear later). Anyway, we've both been at the school together for about 5 years but we never really had much to do with eachother until we got talking around 4/5 months ago. This could be a bit long winded and hard to follow so bear with me.
When we first started talking I couldn't believe how wrong I was about her. Shes a very shy, quiet person and i'd always assumed she wasn't very interesting or whatever. In truth, I never had much time for her which was a huge mistake on my part. She has since admitted to feeling something similar about me, she always thought I was a bad guy since I have that kind of reputation among some people. Anyway, we started talking more reguarly and I got to like her more and more. Now, here's where things get complicated. A friend of both of ours (Mark) had/has a huge crush on another of Amy's friends, Rachel. He never really stood a chance but neither me or Amy had the heart to tell him. Problem is, he's pretty obssesive about Rachel and it really bugs her. That's another story really. So Mark is really happy that i'm getting to know Amy since it gives him more time with Rachel, he encourages me to get to know her (he knows I like her). Eventually I tell her I really like me and she says she needs time and she's not sure how she feels, which is fine by me.
So things are going great when out of nowhere Amy gets mad at me because apparently Mark has told her other friend Vikki (last one i'll introduce, promise) some things about me. I wont go into that because it's not important, point is they were lies. Anyway, I find out that Mark has been telling Amy not to get involved with me because i'll only hurt her because i'm such a bad guy. Eventually I convince Amy that he's lying and it passes. I didn't want to confront Mark about it because I didn't want to cause her trouble. She's now mad at him anyway for lying. I still don't really know how she feels about me at this point but she was under a lot of stress with coursework so I didn't say anything. About a week passes and we go out places together and have a really good time, leading to a really long talk where Amy says she's still not sure how she feels, she says she's scared of getting invovled because she's been hurt before and that we'll be going to Uni come September.Also, she's unsure if she wants anything to happen because Vikki doesn't like me since she believed everything Mark said. I get the feeling that Amy likes me but is worried it'll go wrong.
The very next day I get an e-mail from her saying she doesn't feel the same way because I don't really like her. To say something like that by e-mail is not like her. Turns out, Mark had managed to convince her that I didn't really feel like I said I did about her, and that she can't see how anyone could like her. At this point i'm fuming at Mark (if he'd have lived nearby I'd have kicked his ass and i'm not a violent person). So I talk to Amy for a few days and we manage to sort it out, I make her believe that I do feel that way about her and she apologises and assures me she knows she shouldnt have believed Mark and she doesnt know why she did it. We don't say anything to Mark because she thinks it's for the best, but neither of us are talking to him.
About a week later things still don't feel right (we're talking around two weeks ago now). So I question her about things and what's going on. She tells me she STILL needs time and I don't want to pressure her so I offer to back off for a while and give her some space. She tells me not to but that we need to talk in person (this was on msn). So the next day we meet up and talk, I tell her that things don't seem right between us and she suddenly just breaks down crying. This came as such a huge shock to me, i'd never seen her cry before. So I hugged her, comforted her etc and she told me that she doesn't know what she's doing. That she's really confused and sorry she's messing me about. I told her not to worry about me and focus on her work. She's also really annoyed with Mark but being the type of person she is, she wont say anything to him. And that's about where we're up to now.
Thing is, during this whole time while she was crying it felt as though we were really close. It was the first time she'd really opened up and told me everything. The problem is that we haven't really moved on from there, if anything we've backtracked. She's not talking to Mark at all anymore, which is a good thing. We still haven't really confronted him about why he did all this though. I'm just so confused about everything. I'm crazy about her, I really am. She's knows that, hell everybody knows that. I've never felt like this before about anyone and it bothers me so much that I don't know how she feels. I want to ask her, but I can't. I'm worried of making her feel pressured since we have exams coming up soon. It still feels as if there's something not right between us, as if there's something she's not telling me or that I don't know about. I want her to be happy and I feel like me and her could be amazing together. We have so much in common, yet we're different enough to keep things interesting. We make eachother laugh and we jsut have fun together in general. I don't have anyone to talk to about this and I needed an outside view, which is why I posted here. This probably seems nothing compared to the relationship problems other people have but understand that i've never felt this before. I've had relationships last over a year and never felt this kind of connection with anyone. I don't usually find it easy to open up to people so it's all new to me. Any help is greatly appreciated. I just don't know what to do from here.
Before I start there are some things about me that you should know. In terms of relationships i'm a pretty average guy really, average looking, average love life, average life in general really. But I have one of those personalities which gives a bad first impression. I'm pretty arrogant and I treat most things as a joke. That comes off badly to a lot of people, consequently i'm not the most popular person in the world. I can live with that and if you're wondering why I'm telling you this, it's because it should help to explain some of the stuff below.I'm not like this normally, by that I mean i'm not the kind of guy who posts about his problems on message boards. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not for me. But this is an exception....
Ok, so I go to an average sized secondary school (about 1400 people). I'm in my last year of sixth form, so it's more like college with little people running around :rolleyes: Anyway, there's a girl (we'll call her Amy, since name-changing's always fun :) ) who i'm currently "friends" with (The inverted commas will become clear later). Anyway, we've both been at the school together for about 5 years but we never really had much to do with eachother until we got talking around 4/5 months ago. This could be a bit long winded and hard to follow so bear with me.
When we first started talking I couldn't believe how wrong I was about her. Shes a very shy, quiet person and i'd always assumed she wasn't very interesting or whatever. In truth, I never had much time for her which was a huge mistake on my part. She has since admitted to feeling something similar about me, she always thought I was a bad guy since I have that kind of reputation among some people. Anyway, we started talking more reguarly and I got to like her more and more. Now, here's where things get complicated. A friend of both of ours (Mark) had/has a huge crush on another of Amy's friends, Rachel. He never really stood a chance but neither me or Amy had the heart to tell him. Problem is, he's pretty obssesive about Rachel and it really bugs her. That's another story really. So Mark is really happy that i'm getting to know Amy since it gives him more time with Rachel, he encourages me to get to know her (he knows I like her). Eventually I tell her I really like me and she says she needs time and she's not sure how she feels, which is fine by me.
So things are going great when out of nowhere Amy gets mad at me because apparently Mark has told her other friend Vikki (last one i'll introduce, promise) some things about me. I wont go into that because it's not important, point is they were lies. Anyway, I find out that Mark has been telling Amy not to get involved with me because i'll only hurt her because i'm such a bad guy. Eventually I convince Amy that he's lying and it passes. I didn't want to confront Mark about it because I didn't want to cause her trouble. She's now mad at him anyway for lying. I still don't really know how she feels about me at this point but she was under a lot of stress with coursework so I didn't say anything. About a week passes and we go out places together and have a really good time, leading to a really long talk where Amy says she's still not sure how she feels, she says she's scared of getting invovled because she's been hurt before and that we'll be going to Uni come September.Also, she's unsure if she wants anything to happen because Vikki doesn't like me since she believed everything Mark said. I get the feeling that Amy likes me but is worried it'll go wrong.
The very next day I get an e-mail from her saying she doesn't feel the same way because I don't really like her. To say something like that by e-mail is not like her. Turns out, Mark had managed to convince her that I didn't really feel like I said I did about her, and that she can't see how anyone could like her. At this point i'm fuming at Mark (if he'd have lived nearby I'd have kicked his ass and i'm not a violent person). So I talk to Amy for a few days and we manage to sort it out, I make her believe that I do feel that way about her and she apologises and assures me she knows she shouldnt have believed Mark and she doesnt know why she did it. We don't say anything to Mark because she thinks it's for the best, but neither of us are talking to him.
About a week later things still don't feel right (we're talking around two weeks ago now). So I question her about things and what's going on. She tells me she STILL needs time and I don't want to pressure her so I offer to back off for a while and give her some space. She tells me not to but that we need to talk in person (this was on msn). So the next day we meet up and talk, I tell her that things don't seem right between us and she suddenly just breaks down crying. This came as such a huge shock to me, i'd never seen her cry before. So I hugged her, comforted her etc and she told me that she doesn't know what she's doing. That she's really confused and sorry she's messing me about. I told her not to worry about me and focus on her work. She's also really annoyed with Mark but being the type of person she is, she wont say anything to him. And that's about where we're up to now.
Thing is, during this whole time while she was crying it felt as though we were really close. It was the first time she'd really opened up and told me everything. The problem is that we haven't really moved on from there, if anything we've backtracked. She's not talking to Mark at all anymore, which is a good thing. We still haven't really confronted him about why he did all this though. I'm just so confused about everything. I'm crazy about her, I really am. She's knows that, hell everybody knows that. I've never felt like this before about anyone and it bothers me so much that I don't know how she feels. I want to ask her, but I can't. I'm worried of making her feel pressured since we have exams coming up soon. It still feels as if there's something not right between us, as if there's something she's not telling me or that I don't know about. I want her to be happy and I feel like me and her could be amazing together. We have so much in common, yet we're different enough to keep things interesting. We make eachother laugh and we jsut have fun together in general. I don't have anyone to talk to about this and I needed an outside view, which is why I posted here. This probably seems nothing compared to the relationship problems other people have but understand that i've never felt this before. I've had relationships last over a year and never felt this kind of connection with anyone. I don't usually find it easy to open up to people so it's all new to me. Any help is greatly appreciated. I just don't know what to do from here.