ben83
08-12-2010, 05:52 AM
My partner and I have been together for 3 years, in which we have 2 children together. I am 27 years and she 26. At the beginning, we would have at least every 2nd day, but after our second child it seems to be less than once a week and becoming less and less. When we do do it, I feel she is more doing it just for me and really genuinely does have a libido problem going on. I have a rampant drive, but not only that I feel that my love from her is being shut out when she does reject me.
Another problem in our relationship is that she is the first woman I have been with that seems to never initiate . I have spoken to her about this problem many times however she is a very shy and private person and usually gives yes or no or very short responses. She is much shyer than me (I am a bit of a closet horn bag before opening up but nothing in comparison). I don't think I could be the only one to initiate all the time if we are to spend the rest of our lives together. She says it's simply the way she has always been and I have no idea how to resolve this issue.
We used to even have on her periods which doesn't worry me but after our second child she no longer wishes to do that. The straw that broke the camel's back and made me realise that we have what I consider major problems in the department going on between us is that recently she has all out refused the 69 foreplay position, and is becoming increasingly reluctant to perform oral on me which is major for me because I love these! When I perform oral on her, I can tell that she does not enjoy it as much as when we first started seeing each other, and tries to get me to stop at times (which I comply). I don't want vanilla once a blue moon for the rest of my life!
What I find is getting in the way the most is that she just cannot communicate about issues / topics with me at all. I can talk about an issue, only to get a one or two worded response. Lately I have started to feel that we are too different for one another, and she is more idealist where I am more realist. I don’t feel that I should need to or find outside the relationship to fill the void. I love her very much. She said she does not want to talk to other people about her life when I said we should seek some form of help. She says she will probably just turn back to normal eventually, but this is honestly not looking likely from my perspective and I feel that unless I actively do something about it, nothing will ever change. Please help!
Another problem in our relationship is that she is the first woman I have been with that seems to never initiate . I have spoken to her about this problem many times however she is a very shy and private person and usually gives yes or no or very short responses. She is much shyer than me (I am a bit of a closet horn bag before opening up but nothing in comparison). I don't think I could be the only one to initiate all the time if we are to spend the rest of our lives together. She says it's simply the way she has always been and I have no idea how to resolve this issue.
We used to even have on her periods which doesn't worry me but after our second child she no longer wishes to do that. The straw that broke the camel's back and made me realise that we have what I consider major problems in the department going on between us is that recently she has all out refused the 69 foreplay position, and is becoming increasingly reluctant to perform oral on me which is major for me because I love these! When I perform oral on her, I can tell that she does not enjoy it as much as when we first started seeing each other, and tries to get me to stop at times (which I comply). I don't want vanilla once a blue moon for the rest of my life!
What I find is getting in the way the most is that she just cannot communicate about issues / topics with me at all. I can talk about an issue, only to get a one or two worded response. Lately I have started to feel that we are too different for one another, and she is more idealist where I am more realist. I don’t feel that I should need to or find outside the relationship to fill the void. I love her very much. She said she does not want to talk to other people about her life when I said we should seek some form of help. She says she will probably just turn back to normal eventually, but this is honestly not looking likely from my perspective and I feel that unless I actively do something about it, nothing will ever change. Please help!