Confused

[buttaflisw]

About 2 months ago I meet this guy at a party. He seemed really nice but he told me that he had just been released from prision. He said that he was in prison for 6 years for selling drugs and he said that he was trying to change his life. Within the 2 months he got a job and a car and he was getting ready to get his own apartment. Which I thought was great I thought that maybe we could be together. The more I talked to the guy the more I realized that he was not boyfriend material. So I told him that I wanted our relationship to be strickly ual. Which he said that he was okay with. We both work wacky hours so seeing each other is difficult. On Saturday he decided to stop by and spend a little time with me which completely through me off because that is not what type of thing booty buddies do. He even called while he was on his way home to tell me he was thinking of me. He even called me the next day to wish me a happy mother's day. :eek: I told him that I was off on Monday because I knew that he was also off and we agreed that he would come by. Well Monday comes and he is a no show and no call. Why is he sending me mixed messages and should I call him to find out what is going on or should I just forget about this guy since he is not boyfriend material anyway? :rolleyes:


PS.Before he went to prision he was in a 6 year relationship with the mother of his son.

[Rich]

I take it that since you guys have and you mentioned that he's not boyfriend material, that you see things about him that would prevent a happy and healthy LTR. That you don't let cloud your vision as to what it takes for a relationship to work.

That's good.

IMO don't lose sleep over him.

[SALly]

I agree, and it depends on what you want from him. You say it's only . So when he comes over - then have . If he doesn't- then don't worry about it.

[eightball61]

Did you both have those times he stoped over?

[buttaflisw]

No when he came over on Saturday he said that he didnt come over to have . I think he is confused and I am going to leave him alone. I have always made it perfectly clear of what I wanted with him.

[eightball61]

No when he came over on Saturday he said that he didnt come over to have . .

^^But did you both have ?

[SALly]

You could let him know again that is all you want...then if he still seems to want more than that then tell him to leave you alone.

[eightball61]

I guess the point that I am trying to get at is many of these "just " relationships turn out where one ends up falling for the other. He could be falling for you but its hard to tell.

If you just wanted to keep this as a "just " relationship then why are you questioning his mix messages?

You actually shouldn't really care since you both are using each other for .....Or should you care??? or is it that you may have more feelings for him than you thought??? :confused:

[inquisitive]

I think it's a good thing that she cares. It's not fair to play with someones feelings even if it's not intentional. She still just wants him for , and he may want something different so she should leave him alone.

[eightball61]

I think it's a good thing that she cares. .


Caring will end up allowing someone to get hurt in this whole thing. They bith agreed to just be "" buddies and thats all. If one starts showing emotions and feelings then that person will end up getting hurt because the other just wants to have the and nothing more.

[inquisitive]

8ball, we're agreeing just in round about ways. I was referring to when she said this:

No when he came over on Saturday he said that he didnt come over to have . I think he is confused and I am going to leave him alone. I have always made it perfectly clear of what I wanted with him.

Instead of continuing to use him for , as they've both been doing, she's going to leave him alone. Because she cares :)

[eightball61]

Instead of continuing to use him for , as they've both been doing, she's going to leave him alone. Because she cares :)


Gotcha.....I got a small brain so I don't calculate things in that easily. :p Thanks for explaing that further for me ;)

[sammie17]

i think that she shud think about what she wants to do. afterall it's her decesion anyways. if shes in it for , then she'sin it for .

[PreciousYaya]

I agree that you should leave him, for the simple fact that you want nothing more but . If you sense that he has feelings for you or wants something more than just buddies, then its for the best if you end things. You will only keep leading him on by allowing him to stop by and he'll be more hurt in the end if he develops feelings for you and you dont develop feelings towards him. It's nice that you care, other people couldn't care less as long as they got what they were after.

[buttaflisw]

I hope that you all dont think that I am just in the habit of sleeping around. It had been years so since it was good I decided that was all I wanted. When I was younger I would get caught up. I couldnt tell the difference between a booty call and a boyfriend. Now that I am older it is all about me and what I want. I know that I sound selfish but that is how I feel right now. When I sit back and look at the previous relationships I reliezed that I have never had a boyfriend or been on a real date. The guys were just using me and I refuse to be used ever again. Dont get me wrong I do want a boyfriend but I know that he is not the one. Like they say you cant change a hoe into a house wife. You cant change a thug into a husband.

[eightball61]

Anything is possible when regarding relationships. The oddest couple can find a way to make something work. You could try to make something work with him but it all trully depends how you feel. If you are looking for that steady boyfriend then maybe you ought to change a few things. First step would be to get out of this relationship and give sometime for breathing room. Then, once you feel ready then look for that partner that dreamed about carrying a future with. Don't give yourself upto early. Try to give them something to work for other than . This will help you define who that longterm partner may be.

This is a try if you want to settle down but if you like what you are doing now my only suggest is be smart and be careful.

[SALly]

I hope that you all dont think that I am just in the habit of sleeping around. It had been years so since it was good I decided that was all I wanted. When I was younger I would get caught up. I couldnt tell the difference between a booty call and a boyfriend. Now that I am older it is all about me and what I want. I know that I sound selfish but that is how I feel right now. When I sit back and look at the previous relationships I reliezed that I have never had a boyfriend or been on a real date. The guys were just using me and I refuse to be used ever again. Dont get me wrong I do want a boyfriend but I know that he is not the one. Like they say you cant change a hoe into a house wife. You cant change a thug into a husband.
Hey- whatever works! Sounds good to me!