We just had our first argument..

[trissy]

My boyfriend and I have been dating almost two months, and I've been fully satisfied with how it's been going up until the last couple days. He's been so distant, and I've actually really needed his support lately. We're in a long distance relationship until December, so we only get to talk by text and phone. But he's been going to bed super early lately and has been busy all day...

Well yesterday I saw my ex (I'm in college), and this ex ually and emotionally/mentally abused me last winter. I was so afraid when I saw him that I nearly bolted. I had a dream about him a few nights ago that he attacked me, and this will sound crazy, but my dreams often come true...so obviously, I was scared. Really scared.

So I texted my boyfriend that "my scary ex is here," and he freaked out and called me, frantic. I told him it was okay and that he could go to bed.

Well tonight I figured I could tell him I really wasn't okay and that this ex makes me basically fear for..well, almost my life. But instead, he decided he was going to go to bed early again. So I texted my best friend who just happens to be his sister, and she said he wasn't asleep yet and that I should just text him. So I did.

The thing is, I'm kind of terrified of letting anyone get too close to me because of my past relationships. I subconsciously push my boyfriends away before I let them get too close. I find reasons to be angry at them. Well I told my boyfriend he didn't care about me and that he should just go to sleep (this is after probably an hour of arguing about not really anything...except that I'm scared that he's mad at me and my ex is scary).

Then he got angry because I said he didn't care, and was like "I can't believe you would even say I don't care." So I told him that I've just felt neglected [because we've barely texted and haven't talked on the phone in more than a few days] and that I subconsciously try to push him away [as I explained above] and he said that I'm only going to hurt myself by pushing him away [which is true].

I told him that I'm just so afraid. He told me I don't have to be.


Sorry, that ended up being a lot longer than I intended. I feel so bad for yelling at him and telling him he didn't care, but he just kept thinking about sleep, and I was basically having an emotional breakdown and needed some support, and he didn't seem to notice.

I hate long distance relationships, but he's treated me better than any other guy has ever treated me...

I'm so afraid... =/

[smackie9]

Men cannot understand the emotional pain of being raped, so it's difficult for your BF to understand what you are really going through. He cannot give you the support you truly need, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't care. Like I said in your other post, go seek counseling to help yourself. As soon as you tell them that you are dealing with a past rape you will get in right away. I guarantee the counseling will help you immensely and it will take the strain off your relationship with your BF. Even though you were raped last year, it wouldn't hurt to report it anyways. If you feel unsure just discuss a plan of action to be taken with your school counselor.