Now its my turn..

[thunderbird]

Thanks for all your replies before...my husband and i did sort things out, we are working on the problems he has and things have been great
Theyre never going to be perfect, he/we have too much work to do and he has to begin healing...and keep it up

Now the problem is that i find myself highly attracted to someone i work with. I only see this person friday and saturday nights and all during the week its like my life is on hold until those night when i get to see this guy.

Things are pretty innocent, hugging, hand holding..but things that if my husband was doing with someone else i would be so upset!!!

And last week the conversation alone was enough to have stepped over the line, not ual but emotionally charged and when he was leaving we kissed..just a peck on the lips but then he wanted to kiss me again and i said "no...i dont have the strength to not let it be more" and then i kissed him anyway!!!! Again just a peck.

I love and adore my husband but with all thats going on with him hes so damn difficult to live with!!! I feel like the last couple of months have been drama after drama and im physically exhausted from it all.
Being with this other guy is simple and easy, i feel happy and relaxed and i dont feel that at home.

I know im being a selfish but i cant seem to help myself...i want something for ME..in a weird way it gives me strength to help my husband

Any advice???

[shelby644644]

..but things that if my husband was doing with someone else i would be so upset!!!


I think you've answered your own question here.

This is classic escapism behaviour and whilst it's going on you will not face up to the issues within your marriage. Concentrate on that.

[eightball61]

Things are pretty innocent, hugging, hand holding..but things that if my husband was doing with someone else i would be so upset!!!



Let me get this right here::confused:

You hounded at your husband for looking at and you turned around to do something 10 times as worse.....Sorry to be rude but your a hypocrite... :mad:

Your marriage is screwed....Just forget about saving it and why don't you go run away with weekend boy..Goodluck

[SALly]

So basically it probably never was about the ......things just aren't working out for your marriage. There's deeper issues there. The was just a cover.... a reason ..... to bring it all out.

[Rich]

When people are made to feel unattractive, feel neglected, or not appreciated, then they look to find someone else to provide those feelings to them. Our egos need to have these feelings met.

Either you truly want to save your marriage and make it what it should be, or you don't.

If you want to save your marriage, then you need to break off all contact with this other guy and really work on getting your marriage to where you want it to be.

If you're staying in your marriage but the spark is gone and you really don't, deep down inside, give a crap if it lasts or not, then you might as well just divorce already. Why drag it out?

[Rich]

Thunderbird-

Just read your other post in which you mentioned that you have that "endomitriosis" (probably not spelled correctly). Is that why your husband had the internet affair? Because having with you hurts you? So maybe you don't have that often or that it isn't fun or enjoyable?

Maybe I'm getting my stories mixed up with who has what and is doing what on this site, but I don't think you told us that bit of info when describing your marriage.

Now you're starting to hook up with this other guy who you see on the weekends. Do you not think that will still hurt or that your condition won't affect that relationship?

If you can, give us the straight skinny on your current life and marriage.

[Diablo]

Thunderbird: Things are free and easy with the weekend guy because you don't have that much going with him. If you wind up with him; things with him would be different. The greener grass has a way of turning brown when you do go over to the other side.

[piratesmate]

I know what Thunderbird is going through.
I feel she is not receiving the attention she needs (we all need) from her spouse so thus is needing it from an outside source. The weekend thing, well, that's exciting because it is new, like it used to be when you first met your husband. That relationship cannot work out, it won't last and it will ruin your relationship you have with your husband.
If you truly love your husband and want to make your marriage work, you two need to talk everything out and get it all out in the open. I wouldn't tell him about the weekend guy.
Just talk and be open with each other and make sure you tell your husband what is bothering you.

[Mariposa]

I have been in a similar situation when I was in a serious relationship before. I felt so attracted to this other guy and even eventually had a heavy make out session with him. I justified it all over the place so I would not feel as if I was doing anything wrong. I ended up leaving my relationship for this guy and one year later realized it was a huge mistake. Leaving my boyfriend wasnt the mistake, but being with this guy was. I was only searching for something that my boyfriend was not giving me and I found it with the new guy. Well, after the spark left with him, I left him as well. Leave your husband for the real reasons and dont lie to yourself.