Is this a Normal Fear of Commitment or Something More?

[massgirl]

My boyfriend and I have had our issues, but overall things seem to be going great with us. We've had a marriage talk several times and each time it usually ends up with him telling me these are the things that need to change before he's ready to marry me. I feel like things have been really amazing between us lately. But....he left his email open the other day. His friend who he hasn't talked to in a long time had emailed him and asked him how his love life has been. His response was "I've actually been with the same girl a year and a half now. Not going to be permanent, but for now it works". I was in shock after reading this. I debated the whole night whether I should try to talk to him or not and how to bring it up since I couldn't tell him I read his e-mail. A couple hours later I told him I'd been thinking and I wanted to ask him a yes or no question and wanted an honest answer. I said "you're never going to marry me, right?" He said "I don't know" I said tell me the truth. He looked at me and said "probably not". At that point I got up of the couch and told him I was leaving. I told him there was no point to this. I'm sick of trying to be everything he wants and giving him everything I have and never being good enough. He started crying and hugging me and begging me not to leave and just kept saying "I love you so much. I love you so much. Please don't leave. I don't want to not be with you. I don't want to live without you. You're my best friend. I love you so much." He said it's not me. That if he wanted to marry anyone, it would be me, but he doesn't think he ever wants to get married. I freaked out and told him that's not what he's led me to believe the whole time we've been together. He said his thoughts on marriage change all the time. Sometimes he thinks he should marry me and other times he thinks he shouldn't get married and if he really wanted to get married, shouldn't he feel like that all the time? He said he's a very selfish person and basically doesn't want to give up his freedom for marriage and a family (even though we already live together) and he doesn't know if he can do it. We had a long talk and he said he doesn't know what he wants. We settled on going to couples therapy to try to figure things out. Never getting married is not an option to me. I need a commitment.

So my questions is, is this something that a lot of men go through when it comes to this point in a relationship or does it just sound like he's never going to marry and I should just end the relationship before I get hurt more? I need advice. I hope there are some men and women who have gone through this as well. Thank you!