Orlandi di Lass
10-20-2010, 07:51 PM
Hi everyone, this is my first post and I'm seeking opinions on my relationship. I've been dating a girl for 3 years and things have gotten worse over time. Our relationship has been good for the most part, we took a break once, but that only lasted for a week, and we're both very loyal and caring about each other.
A lot of times, she will have issues with her body. For example, she will get upset and be late for university class or work because she hates how she looks, even though she looks good and I tell her that. She almost ditched out of going with me to a show I bought tickets to because she didn't want to be seen in public. This has been getting worse and I've suggested getting help, but she'll just say "that won't do anything". I'll try to convince her and she'll agree to get help just to get me off of her back basically. I've never said anything negative about her apperance, only positive things, and I told her I'd go with her for counselling when she's ready to go, but she seems uninterested. Almost like she doesn't want help, and wants to be stuck in a rut where people can feel sorry for her.
She has no drive or interest in being intimate, or doing anything besides going out for supper and watching tv because she says she's uncomfortable about her body, even though a few months ago she said she had an extremely high drive and wanted to be intimate all the time. I think going back to school and the stress involved may be playing a role because she takes on a lot of exta responsibilities. She's a singer, so she joins extra classes and choirs just for experience.
She lives with her brother and yesterday they had a fight over the cable bill and when these fights happen she goes crazy and says nasty things and cuts off communication with her family for a while instead of taking repsonsiblity and figuring out a way to manage the bills. Because she's so stressed out all the time over school/family/her apperance, I can never bring up our relationship because she says she's not in the mood to talk about it.
We don't see each other enough. I might see her once a week for a little bit, and that's just watching tv together for a little while and she usually falls asleep. I used to see her on weekends, but now she's so obsessive about her singing and everything being perfect, she'll practice all weekend and put me as a low priority. I tried to tell her that we need ot spend more time together but she says she can't help it that she's busy and I think she feels like she'll be letting people down if she's not available all the time to practice with them. How do I get through to her that I want to work on having a normal relationship?
A lot of times, she will have issues with her body. For example, she will get upset and be late for university class or work because she hates how she looks, even though she looks good and I tell her that. She almost ditched out of going with me to a show I bought tickets to because she didn't want to be seen in public. This has been getting worse and I've suggested getting help, but she'll just say "that won't do anything". I'll try to convince her and she'll agree to get help just to get me off of her back basically. I've never said anything negative about her apperance, only positive things, and I told her I'd go with her for counselling when she's ready to go, but she seems uninterested. Almost like she doesn't want help, and wants to be stuck in a rut where people can feel sorry for her.
She has no drive or interest in being intimate, or doing anything besides going out for supper and watching tv because she says she's uncomfortable about her body, even though a few months ago she said she had an extremely high drive and wanted to be intimate all the time. I think going back to school and the stress involved may be playing a role because she takes on a lot of exta responsibilities. She's a singer, so she joins extra classes and choirs just for experience.
She lives with her brother and yesterday they had a fight over the cable bill and when these fights happen she goes crazy and says nasty things and cuts off communication with her family for a while instead of taking repsonsiblity and figuring out a way to manage the bills. Because she's so stressed out all the time over school/family/her apperance, I can never bring up our relationship because she says she's not in the mood to talk about it.
We don't see each other enough. I might see her once a week for a little bit, and that's just watching tv together for a little while and she usually falls asleep. I used to see her on weekends, but now she's so obsessive about her singing and everything being perfect, she'll practice all weekend and put me as a low priority. I tried to tell her that we need ot spend more time together but she says she can't help it that she's busy and I think she feels like she'll be letting people down if she's not available all the time to practice with them. How do I get through to her that I want to work on having a normal relationship?