Just trying to understand...

[isabella25]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 yrs. When we first meant I let him know that I didn't like and he said he didn't watch it. I found out he lied and then he promised not to do it anymore. I believed him and found out he was lying again. Anyway, it still really bothers me and I have to get some honest opinions and find out if he's "normal" about it b/c he says he is. He looks at it pretty much every day. He has told me that it has nothing to do w/ me and how he feels about me or our life it's just something he's done a long time and he will never stop doing it. He basically doesn't care how I feel about it like it's his god given right to stare a skanks. He makes me feel like I am ugly, don't satisfy him, and am not good enough for him. It's just how I feel b/c I can't believe that it doesn't have something to do w/ me. I would appreciate it if people didn't respond saying that I should get over it and stop being insecure. I just want to know if there are other guys out there who love and adore their girlfriends and do the same things my boyfriend does.

[blitze1471]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 yrs. When we first meant I let him know that I didn't like and he said he didn't watch it. I found out he lied and then he promised not to do it anymore. I believed him and found out he was lying again. Anyway, it still really bothers me and I have to get some honest opinions and find out if he's "normal" about it b/c he says he is. He looks at it pretty much every day. He has told me that it has nothing to do w/ me and how he feels about me or our life it's just something he's done a long time and he will never stop doing it. He basically doesn't care how I feel about it like it's his god given right to stare a skanks. He makes me feel like I am ugly, don't satisfy him, and am not good enough for him. It's just how I feel b/c I can't believe that it doesn't have something to do w/ me. I would appreciate it if people didn't respond saying that I should get over it and stop being insecure. I just want to know if there are other guys out there who love and adore their girlfriends and do the same things my boyfriend does.

Honestly, many females have different opinions about and if their boyfriend's should be/shouldn't be looking at it, etc. I, personally, have never been with (or even known a guy as a friend) that has NOT looked at and I'm 21 years old. So, that being said, I think this is a very case-by-case thing. For me, in my personal opinion, my significant other looking at doesn't bother me. It doesn't make him any less of a great boyfriend to me.

However, from what you describe, I've never had a situation where it became excessive (as in looking at it everyday). I've heard plenty of "every now and then's" but "everyday" or finding it in his room all the time, etc. has never been a situation I've had to deal with so I understand where you're coming from with that. A close friend of mine though has serious opinions about it and she's 100% AGAINST her boyfriend looking at as so are you. The thing her and I have in common is BOTH of our boyfriend's live 2 hours away and she's has other problems with him weighing on her mind besides just the .

So, if there aren't other issues weighing on your mind about your boyfriend.. why not let it slide? Think about it. You always want to pick your battles, of course. Are you having any other issues with your boyfriend that could be presenting these feelings about the ? Do you feel there's a reason not to trust your boyfriend? If you answered yes and can pin point what those things are then I would address those things more than I would address the . Should he care about your opinion in this matter? Yes, of course he should. Will he? Well, I personally would rather my boyfriend (if it were the case) to not listen to me about a situation like this than to not listen to me about say having a random girl(s) hanging out with him at his house alone, etc. In no way am I telling you to just "get over it" but maybe look at all angles here and be sure there isn't something else that's REALLY bothering you more than the thing. If it really IS just the and it truly does make you feel insecure about your intimate life with him then a real, face-to-face conversation about it where he can your emotion would probably work out better than an angry phone call or texts back and forth.

Hope this helps!

[eloquent]

Men will be men and its really hard to get them out of their habits. I have learned to trust him and not hinder him to do what he enjoys much like when I have my own things that he dont understand why I like doing but he just got to trust me and accept it.