mujer123
12-06-2010, 12:31 PM
Hi all,
Well, I am actually divorced. That is another story. I met someone almost 4 years ago, we automatically clicked. We were both divorced and care free. He has two children from a previous marriage. He doesn't make much money, he's not very handsome but his personality was amazing. We started on a path - we created a wonderful friendship and relationship. We used to go out all the time. Just a typical happy couple with random bad spots. He moved into my house and helped with everything. I don't know, it was not perfect, but we worked through rough spots and we loved each other. So, come last year--I became pregnant. I was married for years and used no protection, so once he and I both knew we were disease free, we had no need for s. I was pretty devestated. I did not want my life to change. So, we worked through it. We had some rough patches during the pregnancy because he wanted to you know, be carefree and have fun -- and I was pregnant.
Then came baby... she was early and in the NICU... I was an emotional wreck, especially for the first three months. I'm fine now... but I did whine to him about reconnecting, he never asked me out on dates. So, he'd go out and get drunk and not come home. I tried to ask him to leave but with the baby it was hard.
He finally asked me out for a dinner date and he blew me off to get drunk with his friends. That was pretty much it for me. He agreed the next day, said we should take time apart. This worked for about a weekend. He text me all weekend after he'd taken his clothes about missing us. A week later was Thanksgiving and he brought his sons to our family dinner and that night they came to my house. His kids are awesome and I love them. After this, he wanted to spend time with us. He seemed happy and satisfied - unlike before he broke our date, he was grumpy and distant. The past week was awesome... and then on Thursday he did it again. He was short with me on the phone, I called him and he text me back, which left me very suspicious.
He called the next day and I told him I wasn't comfortable with the current arrangement. He said he would pick up our daughter and he preferred to do his drinking thing. You know, that really didn't bother me as much as the lack of consideration. No phone call to say something came up, no nothing.
I've told him we should keep our communication about our child only. He asked if that meant he could not come over, I said that was probably best... and if he did come over, I asked him to please not ask me to stay the night.
I feel like he's doing the cake and eat it to thing. I feel like he may is manipulating me because Friday morning he came by to see the baby and he was flirty and sweet... there's never an apology for letting me down.
Part of me wants this to be done with. Part of me wonders why he doesn't fear losing us. Having a baby together makes it impossible to walk away completely, I will have to see him and it will be very difficult.
I want some time away from him completely to really think about all of this. Is it worth the struggle to try again? Will he even want to try? What if I find I'd rather walk away?
There are alot of questions and I'm a little scared and sad. I don't want to lose my family but it seems as if it may be lost. He admitted that he saw me differently after I had the baby - seems weird that I'd be less of a person because I am a mother but that is what he makes me feel like.
I think I should not speak to him for a while and not see him. Maybe let him visit the baby during the day at the nanny's until I clear my head. I can only assume that if he truly wants his family, maybe this time apart will help too?
(Edit: He text last night that he missed me and loved me. Wth?)
Well, I am actually divorced. That is another story. I met someone almost 4 years ago, we automatically clicked. We were both divorced and care free. He has two children from a previous marriage. He doesn't make much money, he's not very handsome but his personality was amazing. We started on a path - we created a wonderful friendship and relationship. We used to go out all the time. Just a typical happy couple with random bad spots. He moved into my house and helped with everything. I don't know, it was not perfect, but we worked through rough spots and we loved each other. So, come last year--I became pregnant. I was married for years and used no protection, so once he and I both knew we were disease free, we had no need for s. I was pretty devestated. I did not want my life to change. So, we worked through it. We had some rough patches during the pregnancy because he wanted to you know, be carefree and have fun -- and I was pregnant.
Then came baby... she was early and in the NICU... I was an emotional wreck, especially for the first three months. I'm fine now... but I did whine to him about reconnecting, he never asked me out on dates. So, he'd go out and get drunk and not come home. I tried to ask him to leave but with the baby it was hard.
He finally asked me out for a dinner date and he blew me off to get drunk with his friends. That was pretty much it for me. He agreed the next day, said we should take time apart. This worked for about a weekend. He text me all weekend after he'd taken his clothes about missing us. A week later was Thanksgiving and he brought his sons to our family dinner and that night they came to my house. His kids are awesome and I love them. After this, he wanted to spend time with us. He seemed happy and satisfied - unlike before he broke our date, he was grumpy and distant. The past week was awesome... and then on Thursday he did it again. He was short with me on the phone, I called him and he text me back, which left me very suspicious.
He called the next day and I told him I wasn't comfortable with the current arrangement. He said he would pick up our daughter and he preferred to do his drinking thing. You know, that really didn't bother me as much as the lack of consideration. No phone call to say something came up, no nothing.
I've told him we should keep our communication about our child only. He asked if that meant he could not come over, I said that was probably best... and if he did come over, I asked him to please not ask me to stay the night.
I feel like he's doing the cake and eat it to thing. I feel like he may is manipulating me because Friday morning he came by to see the baby and he was flirty and sweet... there's never an apology for letting me down.
Part of me wants this to be done with. Part of me wonders why he doesn't fear losing us. Having a baby together makes it impossible to walk away completely, I will have to see him and it will be very difficult.
I want some time away from him completely to really think about all of this. Is it worth the struggle to try again? Will he even want to try? What if I find I'd rather walk away?
There are alot of questions and I'm a little scared and sad. I don't want to lose my family but it seems as if it may be lost. He admitted that he saw me differently after I had the baby - seems weird that I'd be less of a person because I am a mother but that is what he makes me feel like.
I think I should not speak to him for a while and not see him. Maybe let him visit the baby during the day at the nanny's until I clear my head. I can only assume that if he truly wants his family, maybe this time apart will help too?
(Edit: He text last night that he missed me and loved me. Wth?)