Question...

[Anderson]

OK, here's a little background to get this question started. I'm a 20 year old guy. Never had a girlfriend, and if I am completely honest, never even really had a date. I'm fairly intelligent, and I'm told I have a good personality. However, the downside of these is that I'm not exactly what you might call "skinny". :( I hear all the time "Oh, looks aren't that important." My question being...is this true? Are there really people out there who can want to get to know a person for who they really are, even when they're not all that attractive? I don't care what the answers are, but I'd like to get some opinions.

J.

[eightball61]

What do you look for in a girl?

Attraction is a funny thing because it seems to happen when least espected. Different people search for different things in a partner but typically what attracts you to a stranger is attraction. The attraction brings the to strangers together and then they go on a few dates to get to know each other better.

There are billions of people out there and I am willing to bet you do attract many of them. The problem is it's taking a little longer than you want it to. My suggestion is to be patient a little while longer and don't give up;)

[seavidae]

Yeah... don't give up! Your girl is there and will come at the right moment :cool:

[Howard]

I wish you well Anderson.keep trying and you'll find that special someone. ;)

[Diablo]

Appearance and income are the average woman's bottom line; however, people vary in what they consider attractive. A lot of women won't date an overweight guy, but some will. You can also change your diet, and get some exercise. Being overweight isn't something that can't be changed, it damn well can. Beware of fad diets and "quick fix" pills. Most of the diets deprive the body of essential nutrients and many of the pills are outright dangerous. A balanced diet and some exercise should be all you require to gradually get to the right weight.

[Rich]

IMO most people are attracted by looks first. That would be the majority of folks. Physical attraction is the primary way that most folks first get together and meet.

There are folks out there though that don't have appearance so far up on the list of wants in a mate. These people are in the minority and are hard to find.

If you can't or don't want to lose weight, then I recommend that you expose yourself to a bigger pool of women to get a better chance of meeting one of these women.

Join a dating web site and be honest about who you are and how you look. That's putting one line in the water to see what bites.

Put other lines in the water by joining some clubs and organizations. Doing this gets you out and about and exposes you to many folks. If you join a volunteer organization, that will help also.

Actually, by joining a volunteer organization that's probably going to help you the most because people who do that aren't shallow and into themselves. You'll probably have a greater chance in volunteer groups of meeting someone who is not into looks, but into heart and the person.

Let me ask you. Do you care what kind of person that you want to date? Do they need to look a certain way? Act a certain way? Be a certain way?

Just be honest in who you are and your expectations. A baseball player who only bats 200 shouldn't expect a multi million dollar contract or to be paid like a superstar.

Good luck

[SALly]

When I was younger, in my early 20's, I never would have looked twice at a larger man. But as I have gotten older and more mature I have learned a lot. Now looks/ size/ shape, etc. wouldn't be what I looked for.

[Rich]

I don't know if it's shallow or not, but over weight women just don't do it for me. They could be the nicest person in the world, but I'm just not turned on by flab. I'll probably feel like that until the day that I die.

Just not a turn on.

[Howard]

When I meet women,I look for intelligence,beauty,articulation,sympathetic/empathy,down to earth,and have smarts.


I love Robin or not whether she's fat/skinny.I don't judge a book by it's cover cause I respect all sorts/types of women. :)