bohica714
12-18-2010, 04:51 PM
Hi
I've been friends with a wonderful, beautiful women for two yrs. Our friendship was nothing more then a monthly or bi monthly phone call and it was mostly work related. I knew from the very beginning that I liked her and was attracted to her. She is married for eight yrs and I never over stepped boundaries but she never spoke about her husband in any way. This past July I finally asked her about that and she told me the marriage wasn't good,that she was leaving and that she never talked about it because it was hard for her. She wanted out after the first yr but never left. Eight yrs later shes finally leaving. With in a few wks she moved out of her house and into her parents. We then started to communicate much more and obviously had something going on.
This past September I helped her with a work project and afterward we went for a drink were we ended up kissing. We have been seeing each other ever since. I'm completely crazy for her and I've recently realized I'm falling in love with her. She is everything to me and I am to her. She shares her feelings with me and tells me all the time how I make her feel and how crazy she is about me. We have developed this amazing relationship out of friendship and it feels great.
The problem lies in the fact that legally she's still married. At first her and her husband filed legal separation papers. Which, for a month or so was great except for the fact that he lied an never submitted the papers. I didn't feel so good about it because I would never be with a married women and I thought she was separated. Now she has been pushing for divorce papers but he's dragging his feet on that. Although he says they have been filled out and she just needs to sign them. He said he has them at his house when he could have left them with his lawyer. Regardless I'm wondering why she isn't driving 90miles an hour to go sign them. She tells me all the time that she knows what she wants and that I have nothing to worry about. I try to be adult about the while thing and even sympathize with him. He calls her constantly, sends her flowers, text messages her, and just shows up at her job. This is daily. Again, I try to sympathize with him a little and understand the situation but it gets the best of me at times and I let it show. She doesn't tell him to stop the communication and when he calls she returns the call, when he shows up she goes to lunch with him. She says she just has a hard time not being nice and explains that I have to understand that for good or bad that they were married for eight yrs and it's not that easy to break that. I know they talk several times a week but how is she going to move on if she doesn't break that cycle somehow? How am I suppose to let my guard down completely if this is going on? I know it's only been three months for us but it's difficult for me. I don't know how to handle this whole ordeal. I'd like to tell her how I feel but I think it's too soon. With all that's going on I can't bring myself to do it but I want to. I feel her love for me and she is so wonderful but at times she says things that concern me. She says he means nothing to her and that she isn't in love with him but I have to understand that she doesn't hate him and that there have been some good memories. She has said on numerous occasions she doesn't think about him but last night she said something that lead me to believe other wise and I questioned it and she confirmed she does think about him sometimes. This lead to whole big conversation about how I feel about everything and how frustrated I become. I'm trying to be patient and understanding and most of all a good friend but it's hard for me to listen to her talk about her husband and it's hard for me to deal with his behavior and her excepting it. Her telling me last night that she thinks about him sometimes was hard for me to hear because that just confuses me. I want to tell her I love her. Whats more is that because of him and the situation I (we) have to keep things on the DL. I can't go to certain places with her, I can't share pictures of us or tell the world about her. That really bothers me. I see happy couples sharing there happiness with the world and I can't do that. She apologized to me and explained that if the shoe was on the other foot she would never have aloud herself to get involved. I'm not the type but can't help this. It just happened.
I've been friends with a wonderful, beautiful women for two yrs. Our friendship was nothing more then a monthly or bi monthly phone call and it was mostly work related. I knew from the very beginning that I liked her and was attracted to her. She is married for eight yrs and I never over stepped boundaries but she never spoke about her husband in any way. This past July I finally asked her about that and she told me the marriage wasn't good,that she was leaving and that she never talked about it because it was hard for her. She wanted out after the first yr but never left. Eight yrs later shes finally leaving. With in a few wks she moved out of her house and into her parents. We then started to communicate much more and obviously had something going on.
This past September I helped her with a work project and afterward we went for a drink were we ended up kissing. We have been seeing each other ever since. I'm completely crazy for her and I've recently realized I'm falling in love with her. She is everything to me and I am to her. She shares her feelings with me and tells me all the time how I make her feel and how crazy she is about me. We have developed this amazing relationship out of friendship and it feels great.
The problem lies in the fact that legally she's still married. At first her and her husband filed legal separation papers. Which, for a month or so was great except for the fact that he lied an never submitted the papers. I didn't feel so good about it because I would never be with a married women and I thought she was separated. Now she has been pushing for divorce papers but he's dragging his feet on that. Although he says they have been filled out and she just needs to sign them. He said he has them at his house when he could have left them with his lawyer. Regardless I'm wondering why she isn't driving 90miles an hour to go sign them. She tells me all the time that she knows what she wants and that I have nothing to worry about. I try to be adult about the while thing and even sympathize with him. He calls her constantly, sends her flowers, text messages her, and just shows up at her job. This is daily. Again, I try to sympathize with him a little and understand the situation but it gets the best of me at times and I let it show. She doesn't tell him to stop the communication and when he calls she returns the call, when he shows up she goes to lunch with him. She says she just has a hard time not being nice and explains that I have to understand that for good or bad that they were married for eight yrs and it's not that easy to break that. I know they talk several times a week but how is she going to move on if she doesn't break that cycle somehow? How am I suppose to let my guard down completely if this is going on? I know it's only been three months for us but it's difficult for me. I don't know how to handle this whole ordeal. I'd like to tell her how I feel but I think it's too soon. With all that's going on I can't bring myself to do it but I want to. I feel her love for me and she is so wonderful but at times she says things that concern me. She says he means nothing to her and that she isn't in love with him but I have to understand that she doesn't hate him and that there have been some good memories. She has said on numerous occasions she doesn't think about him but last night she said something that lead me to believe other wise and I questioned it and she confirmed she does think about him sometimes. This lead to whole big conversation about how I feel about everything and how frustrated I become. I'm trying to be patient and understanding and most of all a good friend but it's hard for me to listen to her talk about her husband and it's hard for me to deal with his behavior and her excepting it. Her telling me last night that she thinks about him sometimes was hard for me to hear because that just confuses me. I want to tell her I love her. Whats more is that because of him and the situation I (we) have to keep things on the DL. I can't go to certain places with her, I can't share pictures of us or tell the world about her. That really bothers me. I see happy couples sharing there happiness with the world and I can't do that. She apologized to me and explained that if the shoe was on the other foot she would never have aloud herself to get involved. I'm not the type but can't help this. It just happened.