please help!

[fordchica42]

okay, well... here goes: i was with mike for nine months we were good together, but i wanted more... i wanted great. i wanted someone who would be perfect for me. he lied to me about spending time with his ex, and we broke up. other than that, he was loyal and trustworthy. i met ryan about three months ago, and he was just so sweet to me, and seemed perfect, and meant to be. we started seeing eachother in the end of march. a few weeks ago, he started acting strange... unhappy, and uncaring, and plain cold. i really love him, but i can't be with someone who makes me unhappy. we broke up last week, and i recently got back together with mike. mike has changed a lot, become more mature... but there are still some things that bother me about him. he isn't stupid, by any means, but it's difficult to have an intellectual conversation with him. he's a mechanic, and he has a full-time job, several dependable vehicles, and all the time in the world to see me... and wants to see me EVERY SINGLE DAY. it was like that before we ended it the first time, too. mike is older, and we can do more things together, but ryan has told me that he is very sorry, that he messed up, and he will do anything to get me back because he loves me more than anything. i told mike what ryan said, but i haven't told ryan i'm back with mike. i also told mike that i liked being his friend more, and that i need time to think on all of this. ryan is closer to my age, but my family (with the exception of my mom) doesn't like him because someone saw him looking at my best friend in a way he shouldn't have been. ryan and i can stir up an intelligent conversation about pretty much anything, and he loves music just as much as i do. he's also very creative, but he doesn't have a car, and he lives too far to see him everyday. i don't know what to do about all of this... advice, please?!
thanks,
<3

[eightball61]

i also told mike that i liked being his friend more, and that i need time to think on all of this. <3


^^You took the wording right out of my mouth.

Basically, what you need is time to sort everything through. If you still like Ryan more than Mike then just stay friends with Mike. The friendship may not go over well with Ryan since you & Mike have a past together but thats something you both as a couple would have to work on.

"Time" is all you can ask for from the both of them. You have been very honest with them both and try to keep it that way. They should be able to respect your decision and if not then you can label that person out as a potential partner.

Hope this helps some.

[fordchica42]

thank you :o

[Rich]

What was Ryan's reason for acting cold and uncaring like he did?

[fordchica42]

ryan was in a 2 year relationship with someone. she broke up with him, out of nowhere, telling him she wasn't ready to have a boyfriend then (after 2 years...) and then she started seeing someone else right after. he was very hurt, and rightfully so. she ripped his heart out, and stomped on it. and since then, he told me, he wasn't happy... and he figured if he didn't care, he wouldn't get hurt. but the other day, he told me that he actually talked to her, for the first time in a long time, and he feels better now. he said he told her what she did to him, and yelled at her, and made sure she knew, and now it's not bothering him anymore. he also cried when we broke up... which shows he cares.

[teejaye18]

if you stay with ryan your going to be friends with mike? --- take the time to think about the pro's and con's of each relationship and friendship and see which one seem to work out the best and who you would feel more colmfortable with

[Rich]

In my opinion neither of these guys will be your husband one day, so right now be with the one that you have the most fun with and enjoy being with the most.

[fordchica42]

thank you guys so much for your help... i figured out what i needed to make my choice. mike already proved that he loved me unconditionally, after wanting to be with me despite the fact that i loved and slept with another man. now i needed to know if ryan did. i was ultimately more happy with ryan, and really hoped that he would still love me, and want to be with me even though i was with mike. he did! we are happy together now, as he talked with his ex (or yelled at her, rather) and got closure from it. we are both finally completely happy.
thanks again for the advice :)
<3

[eightball61]

we are both finally completely happy.
thanks again for the advice :)
<3

Your welcome & I am glad to hear that we were able to help with your decision. I wish you luck and hope things work for ya. :)