wind1983
01-23-2011, 01:37 AM
Hi everyone, I hope the New Year has been treating you well.
I have this issue that has been bothering me for about a month now, so I felt I should get some advice from anyone that is willing to read my post–thank you ahead of time!
I started dating this guy in September 2010. He is 25 and works with kids with autism. He is basically like a male version of me–we have all the same interests, get along very well. We have never had a fight about anything and can talk calmly to each other. I am 22 years old and lost my virginity to him about two weeks ago (I decided to wait until I met the right guy–I’ve dated some not so nice guys before).
The only issue we had before he met my parents was a comment he made to one of his friends during dinner and told him that I am a virgin (in an indirect way). His friend then began making fun of me and I felt humiliated. I confronted him about it and I haven’t seen his friend since. Other than that there were no issues.
Meeting my parents:
I decided to bring him home this past New Year’s. My parents made a huuuge dinner (they are very old school Italian) and cooked steak, crab, potatoes, salad, dessert and munchies and even bought two bottles of champagne–they went all out. My boyfriend shows up to the house (I warned him beforehand that they are judgmental) with a huge mohawk and street clothes. My parents immediately judged him from that, and as soon as he left they told me to break up with him.
To avoid conflict with them I agreed and told them I broke up with him even though I really didn’t. I then had a conversation with my boyfriend the next week and explained that his actions were disrespectful and equated to me showing up at his mother’s house dressed inappropriately. He seemed to understand and we have come to a solution that he is going to talk to my parents (he owns a house that he rents out and is in the process of applying to teacher’s college for this September) and explain that he wishes to continue dating me.
The main issue: I am fearful that my parents will still not like him even after I have gone through all this. I feel very guilty that I am not telling them everything and I feel like if I leave him I will be making a mistake. But it feels bad that I am ‘dishonoring’ my parents.
My parents don’t like his job, his family (his parents are divorced and he has some family problems), the way he presented himself and think he has no aspirations in life.
I am going to be finished teacher's college in May, I have straight A's and have continued to be successful even when dating him. They know I am intelligent in school.
If you have any advice at all with this situation, please let me know. I’m trying to make everyone happy but I feel like I can’t!!!
Thank you for reading this super long post!
I have this issue that has been bothering me for about a month now, so I felt I should get some advice from anyone that is willing to read my post–thank you ahead of time!
I started dating this guy in September 2010. He is 25 and works with kids with autism. He is basically like a male version of me–we have all the same interests, get along very well. We have never had a fight about anything and can talk calmly to each other. I am 22 years old and lost my virginity to him about two weeks ago (I decided to wait until I met the right guy–I’ve dated some not so nice guys before).
The only issue we had before he met my parents was a comment he made to one of his friends during dinner and told him that I am a virgin (in an indirect way). His friend then began making fun of me and I felt humiliated. I confronted him about it and I haven’t seen his friend since. Other than that there were no issues.
Meeting my parents:
I decided to bring him home this past New Year’s. My parents made a huuuge dinner (they are very old school Italian) and cooked steak, crab, potatoes, salad, dessert and munchies and even bought two bottles of champagne–they went all out. My boyfriend shows up to the house (I warned him beforehand that they are judgmental) with a huge mohawk and street clothes. My parents immediately judged him from that, and as soon as he left they told me to break up with him.
To avoid conflict with them I agreed and told them I broke up with him even though I really didn’t. I then had a conversation with my boyfriend the next week and explained that his actions were disrespectful and equated to me showing up at his mother’s house dressed inappropriately. He seemed to understand and we have come to a solution that he is going to talk to my parents (he owns a house that he rents out and is in the process of applying to teacher’s college for this September) and explain that he wishes to continue dating me.
The main issue: I am fearful that my parents will still not like him even after I have gone through all this. I feel very guilty that I am not telling them everything and I feel like if I leave him I will be making a mistake. But it feels bad that I am ‘dishonoring’ my parents.
My parents don’t like his job, his family (his parents are divorced and he has some family problems), the way he presented himself and think he has no aspirations in life.
I am going to be finished teacher's college in May, I have straight A's and have continued to be successful even when dating him. They know I am intelligent in school.
If you have any advice at all with this situation, please let me know. I’m trying to make everyone happy but I feel like I can’t!!!
Thank you for reading this super long post!