Im confused

[biggunsrus]

My ex broke up with me almost a month ago now yet we still talk to each other on the phone and by email. This is the 3rd time we've broken up (we have been together off and on for about 3 & 1/2 years)and she says this time it is for good...she has said that to our friends and me. The other times we broke up it went just like this...we would still talk alot. Even though we talk alot...she said she doesnt want to hang out because that would be too hard. I have changed alot since we broke up (mainly i rediscovered God...which she has been trying to get me to do for a while) but she said she has given me too many chances and will not give me any more. I love her more than anything and I cannot picture my life without her. Any females know what she is thinking or what is going on? Any help is very much appreciated!

[Butterfly]

Its ok dont worry. That is if your not the type of guy who cheats on his girl and all. If you are that type then just forget it cause she deserves better. And if your not then i think that your a really sincere man who loves her a lot to wanna keep trying. In life couples fall down but they have to learn how pick eachother up. No one is too perfect to be free of any sins of to be free of any mistakes. Every human is prone to it. As for your relationship, its amazing to know that you've rediscovered your religious side. It would astonish you, no matter what religious background you come from that god is always out there to help you. Example, u should thank god she's even bothering to talk to you. Now im a girl and a girl is easy to win with the right technique. But be true to urself b4 hurting her again cause another *ouch* wont do u no good and shell leave u again and maybe not even have contact with u.

so i think you should try to woo her over, by doing some of the things u did to win her heart in the first place. Dont loose hope, she took you back once, shell do it again, just be smart and try not to screw up. It wouldnt kill you to go to church every sunday, if ur christian or if muslim, it wouldnt kill you to go to the masjid. I dont quite know your religion.

If you love her so much and cant seem to live without her than try committing to her. BUT NOT NOW, take it one step at a time, shell freak out if u say "hi, im sorry and i cant live my life with out you so will u marry me?" shell be petrified and will think that ur dependant on her. try to find out what bothers her in you, then change, its ok to change. a relationship is about give and take, and compromising.

For starters, try an indirect date. take a couple who u know (guy and girl) and take her and all of u go to sixflags or a themepark. there shell be sitting next to u, holding u when she screams. ull have fun, releive stress and enjoy eachothers company. nothing can go wrong. shell know that she misses u. try to sneek a kiss. no arguments or even talks. and remember, one thing leads to another.

Tell her to come with u to church, and show her how u changed. Like i always say "whats the use of someone saying i love you when he doesnt bother showing it, i'd rather see it and not just hear words".

Good luck, and do keep me updated, ill try to help you as much as i can. just reply to my post and i promise to answer back.

Take care and SHOOOW her u love her, and try that without ;)

[biggunsrus]

I think that I am giving up. For the past month+ I have done evrything I can think of, flowers (lot of tulips, they are her fav.), written poems, letters, presents, surprised her at work and even cooked for her, and she is telling our mutual friends how big of an a-hole I was and she will never date me again. It is now Monday evening and I have not talked to her since Friday afternoon. What do you think?

[Butterfly]

Hi there,

Honestly, *Yikes* was the first word that came to mind when i read what you wrote. Im so sorry that you had to go through all that for her to end up calling u an A**Hole. I'd hate to brake it to you buddy but i think she's totally over you, plus she doesnt care about you. You deserve better, since i see that you have done near the impossible to gain this woman back. Dont worry, there are a billion other girls and you deserve an amazing relationship with a girl that knows your worth. Do continue to be a gentleman and dont go crazy by boozing and getting drunk. You and i both know that wont make it better, plus the aftermath of getting drunk is worse.

Get a hold of yourself and cut all contact with this girl. Dont even ask about her, or let her know you care. If she couldnt care less about u and tries to impress her friends by calling u names then by dear god man u deserve waaay better. Try to go on a holiday, to greece maybe , or even Dubai (its an amazing place with dignified people, its LA, New York , Miami put in one place).

Take a break, u need it. Or go for the Formula 1 race in Bahrain, im sure u have a smile on ur face now. Listen x (ill call u x since i dont know ur name:) hope u dont mind) im in a beautiful relationship and its been 6 amazing years, words can describe what my bf and i have, but to have what we do, u have to learn a little tecnique:
1- put ur girl b4 u put urself, AND, she has to put u b4 herself. (teach her how to).
2-Compramise (Dont play the tug of war, remember u are both on the same side).
3-NEVER go to sleep knowing something is bothering her and teach her how to do the same.

You seem to be a nice man, take it easy, keep ur faith in god since thats the only good thing she left from her relationship. Dont be a weakling and crawl back, its over.

I'll be right here, if u need to ask about something or just need advice. Take care. And do let me know what you think of what i said and keep me updated about u x.

[biggunsrus]

Thank You very much!

[Butterfly]

Your most welcome.:)

[biggunsrus]

i talked to her yesterday for the first time since friday and she was very rude to me. I think that I said we were talking almost on a daily basis before and we got along great and all of a sudden she is rude to me. what does this mean? Is she seeing someone else?

[Butterfly]

:) Hello there "x" (hope u dont mind me calling u that, dunno ur name!). Im so sorry it took quite some time for me to answer back. Hope all is going well. As for what u last wrote, saying that shes become rude and if she might have a new man in her life, well she should be mature enough to treat u with the respect that u deserve but it turns out that she isnt. Let her bad mouth all she wants and do please try to distance yourself from her. She obviously has some mad reason to not want to be with a very caring and loving man like yourself. i told u before and ill say is over and over again. YOU DESERVE WAAAAY BETTER. Go out with your friends (not mutual friends of ur ex-girl and urself, that will only bring up gossip). Your old enuff to make ur own decisions in life and i really hope to god that you could open ur eyes a bit wider and realise that there are a billion other girls out there whom want to be in a cosy relationship with a man that actually gives a damn about them.
As for your ex-girl, i dont quite know if she has a side kick dude or another man in her life. However, i can be sure that shes totally over you and is trying to distance herself from you but you're not letting her go. common man, do let go, u've tried everything , most men wouldnt have given a sh*t about doing half of what you've done for her, which i respect in you ;)
Go out, get a new hobby, i dunno if u live by the sea but if u do, try wind surfing (i think its amazing, my bf wants to take it up). Or go to the gym and blow some steam off and get that "body" that u've always wanted. u'll be fine, let go. "ill hold ur hand" (Metaphorically speaking :) ) till you find that perfect girl whos out there waiting for u. just keep replying to my posts with anything you have to say and ill do everything i can to help guide you. ps. if u can afford to take a vaccation then do so since i really think u need a break.

If you need to talk Man -to -Man, i can let my bf answer you, since im only a girl :p but i think im doing quite a good job. Anyways x, do take care of urself and try not to sit next to ur phone waiting for her call. goooooooo ouuuut and have some fun. Lemmi know how ur holidin up.

caio
Butterfly