gf's parents dont like me

[06sciontc]

ok this is the sitation....

ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years and i cant remember a day that her parents actually did like me from day 1 dey just werent feelin me it wasnt so much her mom i think she did kinda like me but she passed away in nov. so its just her dad now but he cant stand me at all he thinks i sell drugs do drugs all kinds of stuff because i have a new car and i always have new stuff but thats because of a law suit settlement i always ask my girlfriend to ask him y he dosent like me but she says he just says he dosent have to explain his self to her hes really gettin on my nerves n he keeps her locked in the house she can never go ne where or ne thing like that i mean i can count on 1 hand how many times we have actually went out to eat movies ect. but we go to the same school so we do see each other but this was the last year for both of us during the year we would leave to go to my house just so we could talk n let each other kno how we were feelin but he caught her leavein my house he rides by all the time to see whos here n go report it to her like he tells her he sees me late at night with ppl in my car n all kinds of stuff ive made a few attempts to talk to him from writein letters to callin her house and goin up to him i dont kno wut else to do i dont wunt to make her choose between us id rather every 1 like each other her lil brothers n sister likes me they look up to me but she turns 18 in a month n i dont want her to just leave her family behind because they have no mom n thats wuts lookin like wuts gonna happen shes 17 and im 18 cant we all just get along
this is how i feel about every thing...
like it hurts to go days without seeing her or even talkin to her i mean i will go completely out of my way to see her for even 5mins i flew to FL. to see her on her class trip ( i didnt go cuz her dad said if i went she couldnt go) but like enough is enough n i dont kno wut else to do she worth it in every aspect and shes who i want to b with we have been though our ups and down like every relationship but this has been ongoing for 3 1/2 years he said that he was about to give me a chance but i think it was bullshit i dont want to leave her or make her chose between family and me she knos this wut should i do help me out with this 1
*please excuse the misspelled words if any*

[06sciontc]

*sorry for all the mistakes in my frist post*


OK this is the situation....

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years and i cant remember a day that her parents actually did like me from day 1 they just weren't feeling me it wasn't so much her mom i think she did kind of like me but she passed away in nov. so its just her dad now but he cant stand me at all he thinks i sell drugs do drugs all kinds of stuff because i have a new car and i always have new stuff but thats because of a law suit settlement i always ask my girlfriend to ask him y he doesn't like me but she says he just says he doesn't have to explain his self to her he's really getting on my nerves n he keeps her locked in the house she can never go any where or any thing like that i mean i can count on 1 hand how many times we have actually went out to eat movies etc. but we go to the same school so we do see each other but this was the last year for both of us during the year we would leave to go to my house just so we could talk n let each other know how we were feeling but he caught her leaving my house he rides by all the time to see who's here n go report it to her like he tells her he sees me late at night with people in my car n all kinds of stuff I've made a few attempts to talk to him from writing letters to calling her house and going up to him i don't know what else to do i don't want to make her choose between us id rather every 1 like each other her little brothers n sister likes me they look up to me but she turns 18 in a month n i don't want her to just leave her family behind because they have no mom n thats what's looking like what's going to happen she's 17 and I'm 18 cant we all just get along

[D4rkDr4g0n]

My girls parents think im just tryin to get in her pants, not true no matter what she did she couldnt convince them other wise and they wount even talk to me. she cant come over my house only way we are togeather is if i go to hers. yes shes young (14) but thats still bull she can handle herself and id never let anything happen to her..........

Well i say u go over her house next time when u can. Basicaly be around her dad while ur with her, he may see then how nice you really are and that you are none of the things he thinks, or what my gf is doing right now she is talking back and standing up for her self to her parents, thats why they hate me im sure, but hey ya gota do what ya gota do for the best of both of you

[06sciontc]

i cant go to her house he dosent want me around her at all

[Howard]

My girlfriend's parents want me to get a job so My girlfriend and her parents will feel relieved afterwards that I had accomplished something. :rolleyes:

[D4rkDr4g0n]

i cant go to her house he dosent want me around her at all

man im sorry, i really dont know what to tell you....so i guess ur only way to talk to him is what through her? maybe u should just show up at his door oneday and ask for her, maybe he thinks he can scare you off......or maybe his fear is her moveing away you say her mom passed away, well could be he dont wana be alone...

[Howard]

I guess in life you have to deal with all types of parents who have daughters who are overprotective sometimes.

[Diablo]

My girls parents think im just tryin to get in her pants, not true no matter what she did she couldnt convince them other wise and they wount even talk to me. she cant come over my house only way we are togeather is if i go to hers. yes shes young (14) but thats still bull she can handle herself and id never let anything happen to her..........

Well i say u go over her house next time when u can. Basicaly be around her dad while ur with her, he may see then how nice you really are and that you are none of the things he thinks, or what my gf is doing right now she is talking back and standing up for her self to her parents, thats why they hate me im sure, but hey ya gota do what ya gota do for the best of both of you


She's 14? Forget her, she can't make her own choices at this point.

[Diablo]

You said several times that you don't want her to choose between her family and you. That means the only thing you can do is move on because that would be what she would have to do. If you really love her, you will move on.

[D4rkDr4g0n]

Me and my girl are fine, and well even though she 14 she actuly can make choices on her own i was suprised when i met her, she has her life planned out very well, iv never met a girl like that, she stays true to me (i couldnt lose her if i tried anyway) only down side is her parents, well lately she been able to hang with me, i just went to her house and was extra super nice to her parents and well her bro thinks im just awsome, so things going good for me right now....

im not saying u should move on, but her if her dad refuses to let u see her and to do anything with her thats kinda hard to deal with, if you love her would you let her go or try to work through it? thats hard to think about as people see things different, but if u wana stay with her you gota do something...but check with her first......

[06sciontc]

its not that im scared of him im just not disrespectful so i wont just go knock on his door n yes the only way to talk to him is through her and im not just goin to move on i cant give up that easy i mean to be together 3 1/2 years i find it hard to just walk away i know that if he gave me a chance that he would like me its just that he wont let himself do that

[eightball61]

When she is 18 she will be free to date whatever. She will still need to follow her parents rules under "their" roof but she is will be able to date whoever once she is 18. It's tough but her dad is just being a dad. Maybe he will get over it or maybe he won't but the positive thing is trying to see past that and maintaining a healthy relationship with her.

[06sciontc]

ok this just in .....

after long talks with my girlfriend we decided that shes just gonna leave when she is 18 that is the 17th of this month. but, the only problem is this
like i said her mom just died in november. She left behind 5 kids besides my girlfriend there ages go from 3 to 12 now the problem is leaving them n gettin an apartment with me she understands that im not tryin to take her for them n she can go home when ever n things like that its just that they wont understand y she is leavein n her dad is for sure to make it seem like somethin its not he likes to use the kids what i want to say is that there his kids not yours but i dont know help me with things i can say to her n things we can say to the kids because i want to be there when we tell them what is goin on they like me alot

[06sciontc]

shes worried bout the kids not forgiving her n things like that should we just leave n then like afew days later go back let the kids kno the reasons what should happen ?

[eightball61]

Leaving will be her decision & something she will need deal with. The only thing you can do is be supportive to her. All these decisions she makes is her choice and she will need to learn to deal with it. It will be hard because so much has happened to her and her younger siblings won't understand until for sometime. She will still be there for them when she moves out. She is getting older and she doesn't need to stay all her life. She is almost an adult and those decision are on her.

It's not going to be easy when she moves out because its going to require money but if this is her choice then she will need to find a way. If she had dreams for a career though I would suggest that she persues them before moving out but again its her choice.

[eightball61]

A 3 year-old won't understand so then they don't need to know the detail...

[06sciontc]

we make enough to do it, your sayin the decision is up to her she made the decison we are goin to do it were just tring to figure out the kid situation

[06sciontc]

lol i kno the 3year old wont but the 13 11 9 7 will wonder where she is n y she left

[eightball61]

Look......life consist of changes. Many people don't like change but once they are adjusted to it everything fades away. It's going to be a change for her and you can only help her by being supportive. She & the children will get used of the change but is takes "acceptence & time".

[06sciontc]

truu i feel you now, look thanks alot

[littlesister]

Look......life consist of changes. Many people don't like change but once they are adjusted to it everything fades away. It's going to be a change for her and you can only help her by being supportive. She & the children will get used of the change but is takes "acceptence & time".


Aint that the truth? The only thing we can be sure of is change. We need to learn to roll with the punches.

;) It is good your girlfriend has a good heart and wants to be there for the kids.

She can go see them and maybe help her dad with them and still not live there. My youngests daughters bio mom doesn't even take care of the kids she kept,and they are hers! She leaves them with her mom who is not in good health and she lives with her ex and comes home during the day to babysit her own kids!! She will leave for weeks at a time and no one knows where she is...

So your girl is a good person, but she is going to have to live her own life. It must be hard with her mom death not that long ago.

[eightball61]

So your girl is a good person, but she is going to have to live her own life. It must be hard with her mom death not that long ago.

A person can run but they can't hide. She may be trying to get away from a problem by moving out but as littlesister pointed out the issues will still be there until they get worked out.