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Rose In Oz
07-08-2005, 06:59 PM
Its now 4.00am in Sydney, Australia. Sleep is not coming too easily these days..in fact it hasnt for 5 nights. Weight is dropping off so quickly. The computer seems to be my only friend at the moment, hence my search for relationship forums. Im hating myself because I have been snapping at the kids for no reason at all. Im in a hole and want to dig myself out... help!

Profile of a man

On one side he has a great personality, gregarious, humorous, friendly, down to earth, and a wonderful loving dad. He captivates people with his natural charm and humour. This of course applies to the women he encounters. On the other side its hard to imagine that this same man can also be cruel, heartless and a player of the biggest variety. In regard to women he scouts, finds, draws them in and captivates them with his charm. Along the way he gives his undivided attention to them, says things that bring them to great heights. He entices women to say things that he definitely wants to hear, perhaps that is because women are under his spell and so swept away with him that they instinctively continue to boost his ego and with encouragement from him get so wrapt up in his charm. He takes what he wants from them at the time and generally sits back for a great old ego boost. He tires of them easily and is always on the prowl for his next conquest. Without warning, without a second glance, without any compassion, without any sensitivity, without any shame, without any apology or explanation, he has had his chew and is now ready to spit out. We are talking about a heart here, not a tangible thing. That’s right, he takes your heart into his hand, plays with it, caresses it, holds it dear (seemingly) then rips is out, throws it down and stamps on it.

No explanation given. The spark is gone he says and this can happen all in a matter of 24 hours. One day you believe that you are both in total harmony, the next day its kapow – gone! It’s a bit like having two perfectly healthy legs and then waking one day to find that they have both been cut from the knees and when you ask why, the answer is that they didn’t work anymore even though they worked perfectly fine only hours before. When questioning the whys, there is silence, there is avoidance there is nothing..zip. There is diversion to other matters which is another one of his ploys that he uses often with his children and that many a child phycologist preaches but hang on – that doesn’t work with adults, particularly adults that you are having a supposed relationship with. I don’t want to talk about it he says!

That is the man that I encountered, that was my heart that he played with, they were my legs that were cut off.

My children are also perplexed and in their own way grieving as well, for the loss of who seemed to be a great friend to them and for the loss their mum has endured. I still don’t understand and will never be able to comprehend that such cruelty exists.

Thanks for listening...

Rose

eightball61
07-08-2005, 07:46 PM
So are you or are you not with this man? Sorry if I missed that piece but I can't seem to see if you left him or not.

&

Have you seen your family doctor for proper guidance to regain your strength?

littlesister
07-08-2005, 11:08 PM
So are you or are you not with this man? Sorry if I missed that piece but I can't seem to see if you left him or not.

&

Have you seen your family doctor for proper guidance to regain your strength?


I think he chewed her up and spit her out eightball. I swear I hate those kind of guys. It is like a salesman(sorry in advance for offending salesmen) You can spot them a mile away! They have a certain look about them. Just give me a good down to earth kind of guy :) I am sorry you have been through this. And honestly if he broke my kids hearts I would break his nose!! Really though if he is that way with all the ladies then you should have been alert to the kind of guy he is. I hope you can put all the pieces together again. Well I am sure you can. Life can be a real b!^ch can't it? It is good to get it all typed out sometimes.I think I have kind of done that to these fine people here in the past so many days.

Rose In Oz
07-09-2005, 12:10 AM
Thanks for replying.

Did I leave him?... this only happened less than a week ago. We didnt live together even though he spent 99% of the time at my house.

I last spoke to him 3 days ago and since then...nothing. I will not call him under any circumstances. He has sent me a few emails - but the forward joke kind. Thats also cruel I think.

I have many of his things that he will have to collect one day. Im just not sure how to tackle that first encounter since he told me that the spark had gone on the phone!

Thanks again for listening.

Rose

littlesister
07-09-2005, 01:20 AM
Thanks for replying.

Did I leave him?... this only happened less than a week ago. We didnt live together even though he spent 99% of the time at my house.

I last spoke to him 3 days ago and since then...nothing. I will not call him under any circumstances. He has sent me a few emails - but the forward joke kind. Thats also cruel I think.

I have many of his things that he will have to collect one day. Im just not sure how to tackle that first encounter since he told me that the spark had gone on the phone!

Thanks again for listening.

Rose


Leave it at the front door and tell him that he needs to get his stuff b4 you have someone take it away.

Diablo
07-09-2005, 03:02 AM
It's funny that you call him a man Rose. that's kind of using the term loosely you know. Well, he may be one physically, but he should have outgrown the "hump 'em and dump 'em" stuff a while back. You're better off without him.

littlesister
07-09-2005, 03:06 AM
It's funny that you call him a man Rose. that's kind of using the term loosely you know. Well, he may be one physically, but he should have outgrown the "hump 'em and dump 'em" stuff a while back. You're better off without him.


Hey I was just gettin ready to hit the sack and look who I find. Yeah Rose listen to Diablo. ;)

eightball61
07-09-2005, 03:07 AM
Leave it at the front door and tell him that he needs to get his stuff b4 you have someone take it away.


^^ This would be the first step that I would offer. Then you hav to think about your children...Are any of these children his?

You say you are weak but you will need to gain stength some how. You have children & a house to tend to. It's not going to be easy but once you gain the strength to figure out a routine things will get easier. I do suggest that you talk to your family doctor on ways of finding good strength within yourself.

The decision you made is hard but you made the right one. Deep down you know you made the right decision but you have lost the strength because you remember how good he once was. Those times are over though and this is now who he is. This is why you made the right choice and you need to find deep within yourself to accept that. Timing is the key here and its going to take that to move on. So keep your head up & we will be here for you ;)

Rose In Oz
07-09-2005, 03:16 AM
Thanks again for your wise words.

Yeah, yeah, I know all the rational things and agree with the comments made.

One problem... you can tell your head what to think but its damn hard to tell your heart what to feel.

I know its only a time thing and as the saying goes, time heals all wounds but it seams like forever.Just a state of mind and more so a state of the heart at the moment. Going through the motions of sadness, grief and anger are to be expected and neccessary in the process I guess.

It helps venting...thanks again.

littlesister
07-09-2005, 03:19 AM
Thanks again for your wise words.

Yeah, yeah, I know all the rational things and agree with the comments made.

One problem... you can tell your head what to think but its damn hard to tell your heart what to feel.

I know its only a time thing and as the saying goes, time heals all wounds but it seams like forever.Just a state of mind and more so a state of the heart at the moment. Going through the motions of sadness, grief and anger are to be expected and neccessary in the process I guess.

It helps venting...thanks again.


You just keep on venting Rose.I know it hurts. It is so hard to go through. Just hug those babies of yours and hold them tight.

eightball61
07-09-2005, 03:43 AM
One problem... you can tell your head what to think but its damn hard to tell your heart what to feel.




Yuh, that's always a hard thing to do but healing is what settles these thoughts within time. Your mind will work with your heart and it will all heal within time. You will always have memories of this guy but the lesson you learned is that you now became a stronger person & you won't put up with another guy like this.

Venting here is a good start for help you but after a while you'll need to start gaining strength with things around you. You haven't mentioned any thoughts on talking to a doctor and I can respect that but if your weakness continues then you need to talk to one. A doctor is there to help & they will help you through this like we trying to with you.

I wish you luck ;)