pregnant, and confused!

[jenny]

hi everyone. i needed some advice, am eight n half months pregnant and split up from my partner as he was a bit of a cheat and used to hit me. he didnt want me to have this baby so he said he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby at the time. so i went bak home to my mum.now he has got back in touch and wants to sort things out with me, and be with the baby.

sometimes i think the baby would be better off havin the real dad around (him) rather than me dating some other guy guy who wont really be bothered, plus i still love him. i think maybe we could be a family.

my partner had girls numbers and odd texts when id check he would die to show me his phone. he did try it on with my sister and did meet up with anuthr girl n kissed her, met her twice until i found out. i said to him on the phone "what if uve still got numbers and you ringing girls etc messing about, cant be doing with that stuff". but he said he wont. im really curious to know if he is seeing another girl at the moment its been 4 mnths since were split, what was he doing all that time.

is there any wayi could find out if hes seeing anuthr girl, without him knowing am finding out. all his cuzins lie because theyr jealous so cant ask them they end up stirrin. could he still be phoning me now and still have a girl at the side.

please reply.

[eightball61]

sometimes i think the baby would be better off havin the real dad around (him) rather than me dating some other guy guy who wont really be bothered, plus i still love him. i think maybe we could be a family.



.


Jenny, you need to read your other thread over again. (http://www.relationshipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=852). You are confused because this guy is confusing you. You are now 8 months pregnant and you don't need this stress. You left him because you knew he was no good. He only wants you back to have someone around. With everything you have described about him it's going to take more than a miracle for him to change his ways.

I know you want him to be in this childs life as the daddy and he can still continue that role being even not being in the relationship. You need to figure out the proper safety for you and your child. You have mentioned in you other post that not only he was macking on others girls but he has abused (hit) you. :eek: Remember "Hi To Everyone. A Little About Myslef; Im 8 Mnths Pregnant, To A Guy Who I Left Three Months Ago. He Started Hittin Me And Did In The Relationship Sometimes, However He Wasnt Too Violent. ". Is this a life that you want your child growing into?

This guy is still abusing you and you are to confused to take notice of it. This abuse is called mental and emotional abuse. He is pressuring you back with words that he knows you'll fall into. I know you are stronger than you think because you were able to leave him and you still haven't gone back. You need to keep it this way for the safety of yourself and your child.

[JusLikeCandy1]

Jenny, I am doing it. I have been there. I was pregnant, and the relationship between me and the father didn't work out. I left him alone when I was pregnant. I felt the same way you felt. I was scared and alone. I went through most of the pregnancy, birth and delivery alone. The thought of being a single mother was unbearable. I was scared. I was terrified. My son was six months old when I decided to give it another chance with him. I felt that it would be better for my son and I if we could be a family and work things out. Well, that was a stupid idea. I didn't work out, and it was harder to leave him, for a second time. Go with your first and best instinct. Think with your head and not your heart. I didn't. You have to think of you and the baby. Yes, it would be good to have a father in the picture for the baby, but will it be good to have that type of father. One who is abusive. I don't think so. Your child and you will do so much better without him. I thought about adoption also. but the thought of strangers raising my baby was unbearable. Things are much better for us. I have a great career. I am in college and making it just fine on my own. My son is happy and things couldn't be better. Don't let the thought of being a single mother get you down. we all have ups and downs and the best thing to do is capitalize on them and make the best of them. Your goal now should be how you can create the best life for you and the baby. Be strong and think positive. I am not going to lie, it is hard. But, it is do-able.

[Diablo]

You should think it over before taking him back. Of course he's nice to you now, he's trying to get to take him back. What would he be like once he got comfortable with things? Are you sure he wouldn't hit a child? I grew up in an abusive household, a child is better off with no father than an abusive one.

[SALly]

Don't take him back. But you could tell him that he is welcome to come visit you and the baby when it's born. Keep it just as friends and see how he acts. You'll be able to tell if he is genuine or not in wanting to be with you and the baby.

[littlesister]

I hope you listen to what these people here are telling you. You can do this without him, you do NOT need him. It is so easy for someone to be nice until they have you in their trap once more. I was alone with my baby and I worked sometimes for 10 hours a day.... It is not easy but having a guy that isn't right for you won't make it any easier it will only bring you grief.