jellybean
08-08-2005, 04:01 PM
This is the first time that i have ever had to use a forum for advice and to be honest i cant find talking to my friends about it would give me advice.
Ive been going out with my boyfriend for over 2 years but have known him for over 6yrs. when we first started going out we had our ups and downs mainly he we went out at the weekends with our friends and he would forget I existed an sit slavering over other women married though and there husbands were not far away, we had our arguements about it and he would say he was sorry and because he had been single for so long he forgot he had a girlfriend, so in the first nine months we had our ups and downs firstly the way he was with other women was a factor, secondly i found a lump in my breast an couldnt get it checked out until I left the country for my home land, thirdly I have bad skin and find it hard to be sure of myself without wearing makeup and my boyfriend always made an issue of me wearing makeup, so i went 6 months without having the lump in my breast checked out which made me scared made me not interested in and made me push away my boyfriend, anyway he had to leave the country for a business trip for a week, in this time i thought things were fine between us, he emailed me everyday he sent me greetings cards phoned me everyday saying he missed me loads, anyway he came back and finished with me saying that things werent working out and i wasnt who i use to be and he left it at that i told him the reasons and he didnt care until a month later we got back together one week into that (im a terrible snopper!! i believe in being honest and i got a feeling everything wasnt as it seemed) anyway my boyfriend left the house to go to the shop so I checked his mobile phone an there was a forwarded text message hed sent to someone claiming to be a BANK!! saying I miss you and love you loads so I confronted him about it when he got back and he quickly ran to his phone and tried to erase it so we had a huge arguement when it all came out that night he said he'd sent it to a women he had met who was working for the company he had gone to see on his business trip and she meant nothing and he didnt know why he'd sent it anyway fast forward up till 4 weeks ago, my ex told me he had valid information that proved my boyfriend had cheated on me with a girl last year on his business trip saying he had emails he had writen to her, so I confronted my boyfriend over this and he went mad at my ex, when it all came out he'd been emailing this women as soon as he had got back from his business trip being the reason why he had broke up with me, he said he flirted with her and nothing happened he gave her a peck on the lips when he left to leave the country and that was it, now I couldnt get this out of mind so I confronted him again that if he wanted everything to work out with us he had to tell me the truth so we had an arguement and I asked if it had been more than a peck and he had said yes, they had gone out together with another couple and they had been dancing on the dance floor and he made the move on her and started kissing her in ways he kissed me, i asked if that was it and he said yes,. I really dont think it is though why would he be emailing her none stop breaking up with me and tecting her messages saying he missed her and loved her, I asked him why he had lied to me for over a year and why he had done it and he said because i treated him like a leper pushing him away and not being interested in him was why he cheated on me, I dont know what to do, i dont know whether anything else went on but my head is all over the place and i dont know what to think, everytime i think about it I burst into tears, before all this came out he said he loved me and wanted to settle down and have kids with me but how can he if all hes done to me for over a year is lie to me, i just feel like a fool not realising more when i found the text. Now hes saying all of it is my fault and if i hadnt treated him like a leper none of it would have happened, I dont know whether to try and work things out, but I dont know whether it is my fault everything that happened.
Please help im going out of my mind!! I just feel so depressed and ive got no one to talk to.
Ive been going out with my boyfriend for over 2 years but have known him for over 6yrs. when we first started going out we had our ups and downs mainly he we went out at the weekends with our friends and he would forget I existed an sit slavering over other women married though and there husbands were not far away, we had our arguements about it and he would say he was sorry and because he had been single for so long he forgot he had a girlfriend, so in the first nine months we had our ups and downs firstly the way he was with other women was a factor, secondly i found a lump in my breast an couldnt get it checked out until I left the country for my home land, thirdly I have bad skin and find it hard to be sure of myself without wearing makeup and my boyfriend always made an issue of me wearing makeup, so i went 6 months without having the lump in my breast checked out which made me scared made me not interested in and made me push away my boyfriend, anyway he had to leave the country for a business trip for a week, in this time i thought things were fine between us, he emailed me everyday he sent me greetings cards phoned me everyday saying he missed me loads, anyway he came back and finished with me saying that things werent working out and i wasnt who i use to be and he left it at that i told him the reasons and he didnt care until a month later we got back together one week into that (im a terrible snopper!! i believe in being honest and i got a feeling everything wasnt as it seemed) anyway my boyfriend left the house to go to the shop so I checked his mobile phone an there was a forwarded text message hed sent to someone claiming to be a BANK!! saying I miss you and love you loads so I confronted him about it when he got back and he quickly ran to his phone and tried to erase it so we had a huge arguement when it all came out that night he said he'd sent it to a women he had met who was working for the company he had gone to see on his business trip and she meant nothing and he didnt know why he'd sent it anyway fast forward up till 4 weeks ago, my ex told me he had valid information that proved my boyfriend had cheated on me with a girl last year on his business trip saying he had emails he had writen to her, so I confronted my boyfriend over this and he went mad at my ex, when it all came out he'd been emailing this women as soon as he had got back from his business trip being the reason why he had broke up with me, he said he flirted with her and nothing happened he gave her a peck on the lips when he left to leave the country and that was it, now I couldnt get this out of mind so I confronted him again that if he wanted everything to work out with us he had to tell me the truth so we had an arguement and I asked if it had been more than a peck and he had said yes, they had gone out together with another couple and they had been dancing on the dance floor and he made the move on her and started kissing her in ways he kissed me, i asked if that was it and he said yes,. I really dont think it is though why would he be emailing her none stop breaking up with me and tecting her messages saying he missed her and loved her, I asked him why he had lied to me for over a year and why he had done it and he said because i treated him like a leper pushing him away and not being interested in him was why he cheated on me, I dont know what to do, i dont know whether anything else went on but my head is all over the place and i dont know what to think, everytime i think about it I burst into tears, before all this came out he said he loved me and wanted to settle down and have kids with me but how can he if all hes done to me for over a year is lie to me, i just feel like a fool not realising more when i found the text. Now hes saying all of it is my fault and if i hadnt treated him like a leper none of it would have happened, I dont know whether to try and work things out, but I dont know whether it is my fault everything that happened.
Please help im going out of my mind!! I just feel so depressed and ive got no one to talk to.