I know this is wrong, but I need advice

[swtpea428]

I know what I did is wrong, but if I could just get some advice, it would really help. About five months ago I met a man through some friends. I knew he was married but all of our mutual friends said he was going through a divorce. We became friends fast and he offered me everything I had always wanted in a relationship but never found. He is 11 years older than me; but he was truly interested in me and what I had to say. Eventually we became closer and starting seeing each other everyday and talking everynight. This eventually evolved into a physical relationship as well as an emotional one. I know you all must be thinking I am some sort of homewrecker, but please believe me, it was not like that. I never intended on it going any further than a friendship. But it did. Anyway, two weeks ago he started saying that he needed to stay home more because his wife was getting suspicious. When I said "well you guys are getting divorced" he proceeded to say that its more complicated than that." That sentence took my breath away. The truth was setting in. This man was never going to get divorced. It was a crock. This weekend he told me to think about what I wanted to do and that him and his wife were going to visit family. I guess I was suposed to decide if I was okay with the way things were or if I expected more. Well, the answer was obvious. When they came back in to town on Sunday he called me and said we needed to talk. From there he broke things off with me and told me he was sorry and that he couldn't give what I wanted and deserved. My heart sunk. He told me if he wasnt married things would be different and he nver meant to hurt me. He still keeps calling me to see how I am doing and to say how sorry he is. What do I do? I know what I was doing was wrong. But I dont believe that this man has no feelings for me.

[eightball61]

What do I do? I know what I was doing was wrong. But I dont believe that this man has no feelings for me.


^^ You took the words right out of my mouth.

What you said here is the truth and you need to find a way to believe this. This man got close to you because he needed the emotional and physical support at the time. There is not much you can do from here except learning from this mistake.

[SALly]

Get out now. You guys screwed up, suck it up and move on. There are other men out there for you, you shouldn't settle for living as number 2 in his life.

[ivy]

I know what I did is wrong, but if I could just get some advice, it would really help. About five months ago I met a man through some friends. I knew he was married but all of our mutual friends said he was going through a divorce. We became friends fast and he offered me everything I had always wanted in a relationship but never found. He is 11 years older than me; but he was truly interested in me and what I had to say. Eventually we became closer and starting seeing each other everyday and talking everynight. This eventually evolved into a physical relationship as well as an emotional one. I know you all must be thinking I am some sort of homewrecker, but please believe me, it was not like that. I never intended on it going any further than a friendship. But it did. Anyway, two weeks ago he started saying that he needed to stay home more because his wife was getting suspicious. When I said "well you guys are getting divorced" he proceeded to say that its more complicated than that." That sentence took my breath away. The truth was setting in. This man was never going to get divorced. It was a crock. This weekend he told me to think about what I wanted to do and that him and his wife were going to visit family. I guess I was suposed to decide if I was okay with the way things were or if I expected more. Well, the answer was obvious. When they came back in to town on Sunday he called me and said we needed to talk. From there he broke things off with me and told me he was sorry and that he couldn't give what I wanted and deserved. My heart sunk. He told me if he wasnt married things would be different and he nver meant to hurt me. He still keeps calling me to see how I am doing and to say how sorry he is. What do I do? I know what I was doing was wrong. But I dont believe that this man has no feelings for me.


You should tell him to stop calling, and mean what you say. He is not going to leave his wife and he should let go of you all the way so you can move on.

[Ladyfox3000]

I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. This was not your fault entirely. You were told that he was going trough a divorce so you were given wrong information. The only thing that you did wrong was let your self have feelings for a man that wasnt divorced and on the rebound. I know this can be hard but learn from this and dont let it happen again. Good luck.

[Rich]

Chances are that he's not totally happy in his marriage and probably wishes that he wasn't, but that he's not strong enough to ask for a divorce and go through all that that entails.

Some people choose to remain unhappy because it's easier than going through a divorce.

My advice is to break it off with him. Tell him not to call you unless he's filed for divorce. If you have to, change your phone number.

[swtpea428]

So I know that i have to just move on with my life. My friends have been trying to get me to come back out and tonite I agreed. Bad idea. When I first got there I was fine. I was even fine when he first came over to say hi. But after a little while I just couldnt take it anymore. All these emotions came upon me that I thought I could control and all the hurt was back. What am I suposed to do? there really isnt anywhere in this town to go out to and sitting home is helping either. I had to leave though because I refuse to intentionally put myself thru that kind of pain. So now what?

[eightball61]

So now what?


Next time, try going out to a place where cheaters normally wouldn't be(like a bar).

Why not try:

1. The movie
2. Going drinking at a friends house
3. A mall
4. Pit fire
5. Library
6. A night of partying at a private place.
7. Ect.

The goal here is to stay out of the bar next time. You shouldn't be held back from going out. If you wanted to go back out again then go but if he shows up then leave. Don't let this guy forever run you. Try really hard with moving on because once you lose these feelings for him then you can start enjoying your time out with your friends.

[SALly]

So was his wife there? Or was he just out again without her? If he was, then I would stay away from that place.