http://relationshipforums.com/forum/ Relationship Forums - Advice, Problems, Help en Sat, 19 May 2012 00:08:50 GMT vBulletin 60 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://relationshipforums.com/forum/ http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10443&goto=newpost Sun, 06 May 2012 03:17:34 GMT Hi. I am in a long distance relationship with a man for 6 months. I have met him 3 times and each time spent a week holidaying in hawaii and thailand. I love him a lot and I think he loves me too but he says that he cannot marry me. His parents are strict and he can only marry in his culture but he... Hi. I am in a long distance relationship with a man for 6 months. I have met him 3 times and each time spent a week holidaying in hawaii and thailand. I love him a lot and I think he loves me too but he says that he cannot marry me. His parents are strict and he can only marry in his culture but he still wants to be my bf and just go on holidays and chat everyday on fone and messenger. Should I still be with him when there is no hope of a future? Another thing is that he is constantly in contact with his ex gf whom he also met online. He chats with her for atleast an hr everyday and said he wants her in his life as she is his best friend and understands him like no one else..isthis normal?

Thanks
Karen ]]> Long Distance Relationship karen123 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10443 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10442&goto=newpost Sun, 06 May 2012 00:14:24 GMT Ok, so I've been married to my husband for 7 years, we've been together for close to 13 years total. While we were in highschool, his dad got a young girl pregnant. His dad passed away last year and my husbands half brother's mother is nothing but a pill * and the kid has been taken away. My husband's aunt did have the boy but he just heard today that she was gonna let him to go foster care. Why I don't know. My husband wants to take in his brother which is understandable. The thing is though that we have 2 small children of our own. They are both girls, a 4 year old and a 8 month old. I got my tubes tied after my youngest was born b/c I knew for 100% that I didn't want anymore kids. The place we live isn't large and it's only a 3 bedroom. The girl's rooms are way too small to make them share a room. It's not that I have anything against this kid and I know it's not his fault what's been dealt to him. But 2 kids is all that I feel like I can take care of. I'm not the one who got out and messed up, I shouldn't have to clean up after other's mistakes. I really don't know what to do. Our marriage has been a little shaky lately and I know another kid is just gonna add stress to me and our marriage. But at the same time I know if we don't take him in, my husband is gonna be upset. He has other family members who have no small children at home, why they won't take the kid in I have no idea. Would children services even allow us to take him without having a room for him? ]]> Marriage nickie2025 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10442 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10441&goto=newpost Thu, 03 May 2012 23:12:01 GMT Hi, I am 25 and have been in a 6 year relationship. My bf and I love each other dearly. However, throughout our relationship i have gotten nothing but disappointment and a huge problem with him not stepping up to the plate and taking charge as a man should in a relationship. I play my part as any... Hi, I am 25 and have been in a 6 year relationship. My bf and I love each other dearly. However, throughout our relationship i have gotten nothing but disappointment and a huge problem with him not stepping up to the plate and taking charge as a man should in a relationship. I play my part as any woman would in her relationship, but i play many of his parts as well. I don't seem to be getting the same in return...just broken promises and more talk than action. I am a woman with standards and qualifications, just like any other, and i refuse to settle for less. I have spoken to him about this but it doesn't seem to be getting through his brain. I love my bf with all my heart, but i don't want to be miserable in my future. I want to know that he will have my back in the future when we do decide to get married, but he isn't showing that now; 6 years is a long time. I feel like if he doesn't open his eyes or i don't leave we will be a very unhappy couple with only one in love. It hurts me so much to just walk out on 6 years.

What would you do? Any advice would be highly appreciated ]]> Couples AngelaJ http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10441 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10440&goto=newpost Thu, 03 May 2012 23:03:09 GMT Hi, I'm not married but my significant other and I have been together for 6 years. I have a quick question: Do you find it inappropriate to buy another man's woman, his best friend, a laptop battery charger for her birthday? I know both of them, but i thought it was inappropriate to get that. I feel that should be her man's job of getting her a battery charger, and that he should have gotten her a card, bottle of wine, or flowers.

I have nicely told him that i find this inappropriate but he doesn't seem to feel the same. How would you go about this situation and what would you say?

Please no immature comments. ]]> Couples AngelaJ http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10440 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10439&goto=newpost Thu, 03 May 2012 19:39:58 GMT Hello forum

I just want to gain a better insight into why my ex girlfriend try to make me jealous.

I must start by saying prior to this call we have met up a couple of times and in my opinion we've had a really good time but on a friend's basis.

She rang me up while I was at work bout 9:30am (opening with 'oh I didn't think you were at work today') and started asking how I was etc. we had a little small talk, then she pretty much game out with a 'guess what?' and proceeded to tell me she went out drinking the night before and woke up that morning with a 'random' guy in her bed.

I didn't rise to her bait by acting crazy/mad/jealous or anything, but I did my best and showed no emotion, I almost wanted to make a joke out of it by asking 'so...how was it' or something on those lines, but didn't want it to be see as 'encouraging' her behaviour, so I shrugged it off and moved the convo on to something else.

Any thought as to why she felt the need to do this? Especially when she knew I was work at the time. It's so confusing when she was the one who broke up with me. ]]> Break Up Gearsofwar http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10439 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10438&goto=newpost Tue, 24 Apr 2012 21:01:55 GMT Hi I have been in a relationship for nine months now. I am so in love with him. We get on well but we have had our problems. He is obsessed with women that are big breasted and that is not me. When we are in the car he will look at other women, i look at women and have become so fed up as i feel... Hi
I have been in a relationship for nine months now. I am so in love with him. We get on well but we have had our problems. He is obsessed with women that are big breasted and that is not me. When we are in the car he will look at other women, i look at women and have become so fed up as i feel ugly when i see pretty women. I think about my partner constantly. He has a fb profile with lots of women. I want all these feelings to go as i want us to work. I just need to see if there is anyone that has ever had this sort of feeling where they feel so insecure that there partner will leave them for someone else.
Thanks ]]> Couples bex456 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10438 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10437&goto=newpost Mon, 23 Apr 2012 07:50:43 GMT Hi..so my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 8 months so far. Not a huge amount of time but I feel pretty invested in him. I stayed single for about 2 years before he and I started to go out. We met on a dating site and it all went pretty fast from the get go. We fell for each... Hi..so my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 8 months so far. Not a huge amount of time but I feel pretty invested in him. I stayed single for about 2 years before he and I started to go out. We met on a dating site and it all went pretty fast from the get go. We fell for each other rather quick, we had an amazing connection with a lot in common. Then all of the bumps in the road started after we were both extremely attached to each other and now I am not sure where we are going or if it is even worth it anymore. So here's how it started...we got to know each other pretty good, both looking for the same things in a relationship. A few weeks into it, we had a talk about his drinking that seemed to get more frequent and he admitted that he was an alcoholic. I later found out that he was addicted to pills also. He stressed how bad he wanted to quit and many good reasons why he wanted to and asked that I be patient with him. It was very hard..emotionally and verbally abusive at times and those time grew closer and more intense as time went on. We were breaking up and getting back together about 2 or 3 times a month...very unstable. I often question why I stuck it out. I really truly love him and so many good things about him..I guess I just feel that he is a diamond in the ruff so to speak and held on to hope. As the abuse got worse, I found myself starting to behave a lot like him...I dont think to his extreme but headed in that direction. Almost 3 months ago he went into a rehab center for a 31 days and I started to go to Alanon meetings and to a counselor for co-dependency issues. We both felt that what we had together was worth getting better for because we both deserve it. We agreed to work towards a "healthy" relationship. Well, while he was in rehab I became bubbling over with anger towards him from all of the stuff that he had said and done while he was drinking and drugging...I guess my counselor brought me to the realization of my feelings that I had pushed aside and tucked away for fear of setting him off and making him mad at me during his drinking and drugging. I started to rebel, I visited a mutual friend of ours that is a male quit frequently and how I felt at the time I was doing it was that I just wanted a mans point of view on how I was feeling. I wasnt cheating or even thinking about it but I knew that it would upset him if he knew I was going over there so I hid it from him. He got out...questions came up and I totally lied about even having anything to do with our friend for fear of a jealous rage coming out. After many fights and lots of denial I finally fessed up about spending time at his house....my boyfriend knew that there was more that I wasnt telling him and he was right. He blew up after I finally told him we were hanging out and talking and I froze up...didnt want him getting more mad so I lied some more. I have finally told him everything...and no I did not cheat or even come close to it. I just needed to vent to a male friend that I trusted. This happened to be my boyfriends best friend, and now he is convinced that I am still lying...that there is more for me to tell him and that I cheated on him. I know that it looks like it from his side but it didnt happen. I have broke his trust, and made him lose his best friend on top of that. He has been clean and sober for 98 days and I am so proud of him. But, in turn with all of the hurt, mistrust and anger he has with me he is always picking fights..almost daily. calling me a cheater and making rude comments and grinding me down emotionally and verbally because of it and says that after what I did I have it coming. After he thinks about it for a minute he tells me that it isnt fair for him to treat me that way and asks me to just give him time to heal and get over his anger and mistrust. I am wondering if it is even worth it, I know there is a really awesome, kind, loving respectful man under all of that but how patient am I supposed to be? He is going through some major lifestyle changes right now with his addictions along with what I did. Dont know what to do... ]]> Couples stuck in a rut http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10437 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10435&goto=newpost Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:39:29 GMT hi. i'm new to this forum. i have been in other forums and have found them really negative...full of comments like "stop being an idiot", etc. and i'm not looking for that here....i'm looking for honest but kind advice and support. i know i'm being an idiot so telling me that isn't helping me any.

i've been in a relationship for a year and a half. he's five years younger than me (late 20's and i'm early 30's). the relationship is not satisfying for me and i don't know if it's because i'm expecting too much, he's the wrong person or if it has just run its course. i have a complex life history and that history has shaped me and how i am in relationships. i am someone who was deprived love and affection by my main caregiver (amongst many other things). i have been in therapy and am fully aware of my needs, how irrational they can be (at times) and that i need to forever work on my own issues. and i do....i consciously work on them...all the time.

my significant other is aware of my history and what i have experienced. i have told him exactly what i need in this relationship and made sure it is realistic (not asking for his time and attention 24/7). but he isn't meeting those needs...and i'm not sure if it because he truly can't or he just doesn't want to. i'm not sure if it's a maturity thing on his end or if i am just this needy monster.

what i am asking for is for him to show me he loves me. he says it but it feels empty and rote. his actions in no way show me he loves me, as they are often very selfish in nature....very "i'm going to do it so you need to get on board"...and i find myself completely doubting how he feels about me, whether or not he still wants this relationship and not feeling good about myself. he is unable (or unwilling) to show emotion towards anyone but his family. when they say jump, he says how high. when it comes to me he says he doesn't know what i want or need, even though i tell him, very specifically.

i'm know this post draws a very incomplete picture so if you want more information, message me (i just don't want to write a novel on here)....just looking for some support....thanks. ]]> Couples Jezzy80 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10435 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10434&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Apr 2012 18:43:57 GMT My name is Cody, and I have a girlfriend that I love.
Its just I have huge jealousy issues...
I am very protective over her because I don't want to lose her, she means the world to me.
I get so jealous when other guys talk to her and want to hang out with her, in every single one of my other relationships, I have been cheated on, I don't know why, all I do is try to make them happy but it's never enough.
You could say I have trust issues and I am insecure even though girls say I am good looking.
It's just I have a reason because every other girl cheated on me and lied to my face.
I cant stand the though of her leaving me and/or cheating on me.
The other day we got into a huge fight over her wanting to go hang out with a couple of guys from school.
What I don't get is why? Why would she want to, whats the point when she can hang with me. Couldn't she of just said "No I have a bf?"...I know that she needs her friends and everything it's just when you're in a relationship why do you need to hang out with other guys outside of school? Don't I give you the satisfaction of being happy and hanging with a guy?
I just don't get it, and girls will never understand how guys really are, most guys won't take time out of their day to just hang out with you unless they want something whether it be , a relationship or to have someone to flirt with and why would I want another guy flirting with my girl?
I hate it when guys text her and stuff too, like they always ask to hangout and like wtf? Am I not a factor in this? Like I get so jealous and over protective over her but its just because I don't want to lose her.
I can't deal with other guys interfering with my relationships anymore, it's happened way to much.
I hate the fact that I get mad at her over other guys because it's her life and she should be able to hang out with who she wants it's just like why would she want to spend her time hanging with another guy?
I don't know anymore, if anyone could give me some advice id really appreciate it, thank you. ]]> Couples Coderence31 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10434 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10433&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Apr 2012 10:20:01 GMT Hi,

I'm new here but I was hoping to get some advice/opinions.
Basically I've been with my boyfriend nearly a year at this stage, we had known each other for many years before we got together. We have amazing chemistry, however, I'm at the stage now where I am wondering if this is all our relationship is based on. I know he cares about me a lot and I say he sees this relationship lasting the long term. He is a very busy guy with lots of sporting commitments and I find that I have to fit into his life and arrange my week to make sure we see each other. Anyway my main issue is that he just wont open up to me, he says it's cos he doesnt really have much serious stuff to talk about, but I feel like we never have any serious conversations and I worry it will always be like this. I always saw myself ending up with someone who would become my best friend and we could talk about anything, but my boyfriend is a real 'guys guy' and keeps his feelings very locked up.
So basically at this point i'm trying to decide whether I should end it now or keep going hoping one day he will open up to me and maybe show he can somewhat share his feelings with me. But I am worried I'm expecting too much from him, I'm not 100% happy at all in the relationship but I am afraid I'm unhappy for my own personal reasons and it is not him and I am looking for a perfect guy that doesnt exist. I dont want to end things and then realise I had a decent guy and threw it away.
Thanks :) ]]> sallybecker http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10433 http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10432&goto=newpost Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:49:19 GMT My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months and we still have not had . I'm 23 and he's in his early 30's. I spend the night at his house 2-3 times every week. There was a time when I thought of every possibility for why this might be happening: lack of attraction, being hung up on an ex, dating someone else, married, etc. These thoughts infected my every day thoughts. As awkward as it was, I talked to my boyfriend about it a month ago and his reason was that he was deeply hurt by his ex girlfriend and it is taking him more time to be emotionally connected with me. I can understand and respect that he does not want to get hurt again (who does). He said that he thinks it will get better soon and that he does not want to lose me. I want to be with him and care about him but because we do not have (or do anything ual) it makes me emotionally distant. I have not pressured him for since but nothing has improved. I know that he is not ready, but I have woken up to him masturbating and it hurts my feelings that he doesn't want to have with me. Four months is not a long time and some may say that is not that important, but it is to me. makes me feel fully open and connected, and makes me feel wanted. I don't want to leave him because of this but are there any other women who are in this predicament? If so, how can I get him to open up or is it just something that he will decide? ]]> Harmony http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10432